The Blog of Rage

And if Wonder Woman would go back to being any good, that might be true

2008-11-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

11: Will we see any spin offs with the character in the coming year?

DD: My feeling, in that she is one of our longest-running characters and most enduring characters, is that she should have more than one series going on. She should not just be relegated to one book. She has a level of prominence that we feel we should embrace, and more importantly, grow from. We look at things like Superman, Batman and Green Lantern – all of these characters have been able to support more than one series. There’s no reason why Wonder Woman shouldn’t do the same.

Yes, there really isn't. Except that:

1.) The Amazons Attack thing really is something that no one would ever pull on Batman or Superman.

2.) We've suffered through three writers in the post OYL period who seem to think it's cute or a good plot device to have Diana cry at the drop of a hat. You can, actually, be emotional without sobbing.

3.) It's difficult to believe that Diana is in the same awesome rank as Batman and Superman because her writers keep insisting on "testing" her all the time. You know how many books I pick up where Superman is tested? Where Batman is tested?

I am getting tired of reading stories where Diana has to *prove* her worth because the characters in the story don't think she's worthy - particularly with lots of sexist dialogue tossed in- Dialogue that she can never respond to, because oh, no, we can't have evil feminists in Wonder Woman! (Mostly because they would spend their entire time stuck between laughing at what a pathetic mess she's turned into and weeping at how the mighty have fallen.)

4.) Funny how Clark doesn't lose his powers when he changes clothes. Funny how Bruce doesn't lose his abilities when he's being Brucie.

5.) Nemesis was a bad idea, and shall always be a bad idea. He contributes absolutely nothing positive to the storyline, and his entire purpose is to give Diana a romantic interest that is unworthy of her.

6.) Clark and Bruce have awesome supporting casts that make their lives fuller. They have families and friends. Diana has that dick she's attracted to, and Etta...and some monkeys. She's not even allowed her sisters. Instead she gets a silly twit wearing Donna's costume who bizarrely chooses not to beat the shit out of Nemesis when he deserved it for breaking into Diana's apartment.

Her family, her heritage - all taken away from her. Not because of a tragedy, but because they were *wrong.*

In short, DiDio, I'd like to help you out, and view Diana on the same plane as Superman and Batman. Once upon a time, I did.

But the writers that you keep giving her? Seem determined to make me think of Wonder Woman on the same level as Jimmy Olsen in competence, power, and importance. Fix that, then get back to me about Diana's clout level in the DCU.

Because as it sits now? The only part of Diana's full and rich history that is being paid any attention to is the unfortunate and ridiculous decision to make her a vegetarian, while everything that actually matters is being tossed aside.

Birds of Prey 119

2008-10-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, this issue is old. No, I don't care. Real life has been hectic of late, and I am just now catching up on many of the past couple of months' worth of comics. So many posts will likely be made to this blog about old comics as I play catch up.

Starting with Birds of Prey 119.

Since DC made the tremendously stupid decision to have Dinah marry Ollie (after years of not being together) and botched the writing of the wedding up incredibly, many people have come to the decision that I hate the Ollie and Dinah relationship. These people have obvious reading comprehension problems, and are usually ignored.

The fact is, I loved Ollie and Dinah together as a couple, at one time. They were snarky and fun (erm, in a realistic way, not in the horrible way Judd Winick made them behave) and were obviously sexually attracted to each other, something I don't buy remotely about many comic book couples. A certain Amazon and her waste of space "love interest" are a good example of the kind of comic book couple that makes me laugh and wonder what the people at DC are on.

However, DC promptly made Dinah brainless and spineless, and destroyed any affection I had for Ollie and Dinah as a couple. That she was relegated to a sidekick and allowed Ollie to dictate what to do with her adopted daughter, as well as the fact that they are happily screwing like rabbits while looking for the comatose body of Ollie's son made me have fits of rage any time I picked up the ridiculous nonsense Black Canary has been in since OYL began.

But in two short pages, Birds of Prey managed to both redeem both the relationship and the characters.

This is Dinah as she should be: strong, independent, and the kind of woman who sends Ollie and Speedy on patrol while she deals with the threats. Sidekick? This Dinah? No way.

The rest of the issue is meh at best (why are they relocating cities again? why is the child being forced to call Barbara "Miss Gordon" still?) but Dinah regained some of her personality that has been missing, and that was enough to make me a very happy reader.

Hawkeye - Not Just a Chick With a Bow

2008-10-01T01:31:00.000-07:00

So this morning, I was browsing on Usenet, whose comic opinions are usually an entertaining, if completely absurd. Amidst an otherwise rational conversation about the upcoming, post-Secret Invasion Avengers, one of the posters made the delightfully sexist remark that he wanted the "real" Hawkeye, not "some chick who picked up a bow" and suddenly gained the ability to shoot.

Which proves, of course, that said person has never actually read the Young Avengers. Because the current Hawkeye (which I shall use as a descriptor instead, as none of them are "real") did not just "pick up a bow" and suddenly gain amazing archer powers. Following a traumatic event, she went and received training in martial arts and archery, to assure that neither herself nor other innocents would ever be hurt in a similar fashion.

This is, of course, the exact same origin that Batman has, yet I never hear anyone dismissing him as a second rate character with toys ("some dick with some toys"?). Oh, no, Batman and his mighty maleness must be worshiped, I suppose. As well as Hawkeye's joyful masculinity, Green Arrow's awesome manhood, and possibly Red Arrow's terrific manliness.

But not the girls! They have cooties! And are clearly missing the mystical, magical penises that are a requirement for being a good ~~superhero~~ archer.

A Beacon of Light? Not Likely

2008-09-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Teen Titans has, in all honesty, been a complete disappointment since One Year Later began. Like many books - Wonder Woman and Catwoman among them - what should have been a break that allowed for a fresh start was marred by creative teams who didn't understand the characters they were writing for, didn't care about past characterization, or simply lacked the ability to write a decent Superhero story.

Yet, in Teen Titans 60, Robin still has the audacity to have the following exchange:

Tim thinks, after all this time, that his Titan Team should be a beacon of light? Oh, Tim. That's cute, sweetie.

I could list many reasons why that can simply not be: sheer incompetence, an unwillingness to work together, inability to compromise, or the simple fact that the Teen Titans at present resemble the popular little clique at high school that always made fun of anyone who wasn't part of their group. The Teen Titans aren't really heroes anymore, they're bratty teenagers who clearly should have been spanked more as children. The only exception, the only character that actually should call himself a Titan at this point, is Blue Beetle.

However, for me, and for this blog, the main problem with this whole "beacon of light" nonsense is that the Titans could never be a symbol of what a teenager girl should be.

First, we have Cassie. Cassie has two personalities: condescending and needy. This is a girl who, in order to mourn her dead boyfriend, started a cult! She may have moved on from that, but what hasn't changed is that Cassie's entire personality continues to be - as it has from the start of her association with the team - wrapped up in the boy she is going to date. If she's not mourning over Kon, she's worrying about whether to date Tim, and trying to make him feel better about the team.

There's no sign of the fun tomboy she once was, or the competent leader she nearly was - it's all been reduced to a shallow girl with no positive contributions to the team and whose world revolves around which boy will love her.
Cassie isn't Wonder Girl. She isn't Buffy. Somehow, she became Kelly Taylor (which is, oh, the last thing I ever want to read in a superhero comic) and she can't ever be a "beacon of light" until she finally figures out how to "choose me."

Then we have Miss Martian. In theory, she should have worked fine. She's the female equivalent of Eddie, someone who is terrified of her "future" self, and trying to stop it from happening.

But yet, how does Eddie choose to deal with his problems? He stays on the team and fights! Because the best way to deal with a potential evil future is to stay fighting the good fight!

But Miss Martian can't do that. She has to run away and deal with her problems in isolation! Because clearly, Miss Martian is weaker than Eddie.

Add to the fact that Miss Martian's other role on the team was to be the lovestruck ditz who mooned over Eddie while he wanted Ravager, and I can't begin to see how this weak creature would ever be a "beacon of light" for any one.

Finally, we have Ravager. Rose Wilson's entire reason for being on the team was problematic to begin with. She was there because Nightwing - still harboring guilt for letting Deathstroke blow up his city and not doing a thing about it, no doubt - forced the team to have her. We see very little about what Rose actually thinks of this. Oh, sure, we know what she thinks of her teammates (and who can blame her - they are pretty crappy) but how does she feel about being a Titan?

The only thing we get in that arena is when she is talking to Joey (who was resurrected pointlessly) and she whines about how the Titans don't trust her.

So, on one hand, we have a Rose who isn't allowed any agency of her own when it comes to determining where and how to spend her life. On the other, we have her pleading for acceptance from people who don't like her. In the big story that should have been Rose's breakout point, when her father came back, Rose simply went from depending on Daddy to depending on her brother.

Essentially, Deathstroke, Nightwing, and Joey dictated Rose's life. And when they stopped doing that, the minute Rose showed any real backbone - she had to leave the team.

Yeah, that's real "beacon of light" worthy.

It's not actually hard to write teenager supergirls who are fun and awesome. Take Cassie Lang or Kate Bishop in the Young Avengers. Or Mayday Parker in Amazing Spider-Girl. Even at DC, take Brenda over in Blue Beetle, at least as she was for the first 25 issues. All tough, all very feminine, and all embracing the kind of legacy heroes that the Titans should be. Those are the kinds of women that I would want to show as a "beacon of light" to young female readers, not these horrible creatures in this book.

In the end, I am reminded about something that Wendy(who is just a few years older than the teenagers in this book) said in Middleman:

"I get to hope because I fight for it."

These characters, particularly the female ones, aren't fighting for any kind of hope, especially not as female role models. Instead, they're doing the very opposite.

And they're a boring team while they're at it.

Middleman's Season Finale

2008-09-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

"I get to hope because I fight for it."

Oh, Middleman.

There is so much about Middleman that I absolutely adore. It's full of women who are different, but all equally awesome in their kick-buttness. It has a female sidekick that makes it obvious how much Stephanie Brown completely failed as a Robin Concept (her writers' faults, of course.) Because this is a female sidekick who would never beg for her "Batman" to accept her. Pft.

Also, Wendy is full and proud of the training she has received. And her boytoy has to wait on her as much as she waits on him. Theirs is a relationship of equals, in a way that none of the current relationships in comics are anymore (thanks, Joe Q!)

But what I love most about this story tonight is that, in a comic book universe so dominated by the DARK! and the REALISTIC! and the HEROES FIGHTING HEROES! and the DEATH! we have the main female of the show utter the truest, and best mantra for any hero: "I get to hope because I fight for it."

Yes, Wendy.

Oh, DC and Marvel. I wish I could believe that of your characters again.

Rapists and Child Molestors are Both Bad. Oi.

2008-09-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

This blog is mostly about the stupidity of comic book canon.

But for the record, if you are engaged in a RP community in which you have SLADE WILSON track down TARANTULA and have the reason being that HE is so AWESOME AND PURE! But she is so SKANKY and EVIL, you have some true issues.

Yeah, Tarantula was a rapist. What she did to Nightwing was rape, no question.

But what Slade did to Terra was rape, too. Never mind what he did to Cassandra Cain.

Saying that Slade is a morally better person than Tarantula makes you look silly.

Saying that Slade is a morally better person than Tarantula while saying that you are a a feminist makes me sad. Having one set of standards for a male rapist, and another for a female rapist is as anti-feminist as they come.

Actually Dinah leading the JLA is AWESOME.

2008-09-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

So I am reading random commentary and someone is complaining about Meltzer for reasons that are pretty silly in and of themselves, but as the person I am reading is incapable of actually reading comics without making up a backstory that doesn't actually exist, I mostly ignored the ranting.

But then, in the midst of all the other crazy, I got the following crazy:

"It's bad enough that he can't write a woman outside of Dinah Lance (who he still made into a figurehead) ..."

The implicit comment in this, of course, is that Dinah being the HEAD OF THE JLA was a bad thing.

What kind of crazy logic is that?

Look, Identity Crisis was made of fail buckets the size of the Grand Canyon. But post OYL, Meltzer's portrayal of women has been the best at DC, period. Particularly if you look at his Wonder Woman and Black Canary.

His Wonder Woman kicked butt, and didn't need Nemesis' penis to do it. His Dinah was a good leader, and a loving family member, and didn't need Ollie's penis to do it.

These are good things, and should be encouraged. Not scorned.

Bye, bye, Chuck Dixon

2008-06-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

All I have to say in regards to Chuck Dixon announcing that he is no longer working with DC is well, at least he won't botch up anymore characters I care about for a while?

I don't know the man personally, and I wish him all the success in the world, even if I don't agree with his very obvious personal politics that he tries to shove down my throat in every single comic he ever writes. But I'm glad he won't be near any of the characters I love any time soon. Because I blame him solely for the mess that Nightwing was for years (Devin's arc, for all that I had issues with it, built upon the spineless, pathetic wuss Dixon made Dick into) and Connor Hawke's solo series was so bad that the poor creature deserved to be put out of his misery. Even if it was in a badly written Winick story.

On the other hand, if this has anything at all to do with future plotline developments, either of the Batman R.I.P. nonsense or the Final Crisis story, then I don't know whether to be horrified or really excited. Because if the man who made Dick into a whiny little waste, tried to destroy Batman's character, and had Connor Hawke sleeping with the woman who raped his father can't handle a certain storyline...then that story is either FANTASTIC or HORRIFYING.

Oh, Teen Titans. You continue to make me sad

2008-05-05T23:51:00.000-07:00

There has to be a point in which this title can't get any worse. Between the whiny teenagers, and the inability to even write the team as a team, I suspect the end is near. As with Catwoman, if this ever gets canceled, I will be sad of the lost potential, but will consider it a mercy killing.

And last week gave me a nice reason to add to the already lengthy list of reasons why:

There are two ways to read that scene.

Either you read it as a straight attempted rape scene, which it clearly is, and is problematic all by itself.

Or, you read the underlining implication that MM's "evil self" that she can't control is really into the sex and comes onto any man, no matter how undesirable they may be.

Ah, because that cliche, of sexless=good, sex=bad for female characters isn't at all tired, boring, and completely offensive.

What makes those panels far worse is that they don't further the story at all. They don't add any additional perspective to the character's plight or any additional sympathy. And while it's cute that she threw him through the door, as a reader, I'm too busy being pissed that the unnecessary scene was thrown in to care about how the would be rapist is disposed of.

You just know if this was a story about how Tim Drake had an evil side that he couldn't control, it wouldn't be shown through a Madonna/Whore stereotype that began with Tim wanting to have sex with everyone in sight and ended with an attempted rape of Robin.

A couple of comics I actually enjoyed!

2008-04-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

While everything I read this week sucked, two things I read last week were wonderful!

Nothing makes me happier than completely ridiculous alternate worlds.. I generally think DC does a better job with these, as the Elseworlds are much more entertaining than What Ifs. But I fell in love with the Spider-Man Fairytales, and looked forward to reading the Avengers version when I heard it was coming.

It didn't disappoint! Both the art and the writing are simply fun. There's a real sense that the writer actually likes the characters, and both the male and female characters are allowed to shine.

The first story is a retelling of Peter Pan, with Wanda in the Wendy role and Captain America in the Peter Pan role.

Avengers Fairy Tales 2 is a take on Pinocchio, with Henry Pym, Wasp, and the Vision.

Several things make these stories an absolute delight to read. Firstly, the stories themselves are allowed to be fun and don't fill every panel with bloated self-importance that plagues the majority of both Marvel and DC lately. The art reflects that sense of fun, and compliments the story, giving the tales an additional sense of whimsy that is appropriate to fairy tales.

Secondly, the women in these tales are simply wonderful. Their powers are *celebrated,* and never once portrayed as something negative. There's no Marvel Girl syndrome at play here, for either Wanda or Wasp, the women who play the prominent roles in the first two stories.

In the Peter Pan story, womanhood as a whole is practically celebrated. At the beginning we have Wanda musing:

"If there was ever a story that deserved to begin with the worlds 'once upon a time'... this is indeed it. For you see, time is exactly what this story is about. Take Wanda here, for example. She'd reached a certain time in her life. Wanda was rather unhappy with the way her body had been changing recently. She knew her parents kept secrets from her, but was this one of them? Did all girls develop magical powers as they got older?

But as it turns out, it wasn't a "female thing" after all."

After a long day of exhausting powers, Cap, his shadow, and Wasp (in the role of Tinkerbell) come along to whisk Wanda and her brother to Neverland.

Once there, they are greeted by the Lost Boys:

And of course, must battle Klaw. This unfortunately ends with the Avengers being tied up and at Klaw's mercy.

And who should save the day? Though Wanda is initially annoyed at her powers, by the time she and the Lost Boys are captured by Klaw, she grows to see that magic certainly has it's place:

"Sick of all this masculine madness, Wanda decided the situation called for...a little female intervention.

Boys may have gotten them into this mess..but the girls would now get them out of it. Wanda may have come to Neverland with a girl's innocence...but it was with a woman's touch she saved the day!"

Awww. And save them, Wanda does with her powers. Unfortunately, in the final moments of the battle, Cap's shadow gets trapped in an iceberg, and Cap won't leave it. He tells Wanda to take the Lost Boys back home with her, promising that they'll meet again:

And the story ends with an adult Scarlet Witch telling the story to a group of children.

The highlights of the story are the Wasp and the Scarlet Witch both having powers that are celebrated and in fact save the day. It's kind of wonderful.

Avengers Fairy Tales 02 is a take on Pinocchio, with Henry Pym, Wasp, and the Vision. Wanda also makes a guest appearance as the Scarlet Fairy:

In this version of events, Janet was shrunken during a battle between her husband and her husband's first attempt to build them a son (Ultron.) Despite this, Janet is a very awesome and independent character in this story and without her, neither Vision nor Henry would come to very happy endings:

The Scarlet Fairy comes back to grant but one wish of Vision's, which ends up saving his father's life. As a result, the family lives happily ever after:

Again, the women in this story are celebrated even though the story is ostensibly about the boys. And the art is gorgeous.

Comic Roundup

2008-04-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

So, I sent my weekly comic book commentary off to Popcultureshock, and I realized I really don't have anything positive to say about this week's comics. That's pretty sad, really. In fact, so sad that I only sent PCS three picks/pans, because sending negative commentary for every one of the books would have been over kill, I believe.

On my own space, however, I do not harbor the same amount of hesitation in complaining about bad comics. Hey, I didn't write them. It's not my fault they were awful.

Book I disliked least but still won't be re-reading any time soon: Justice League of America 20

Just last week I was gushing about how much I love the Peyer Wally West in the Flash solo book. Peyer is portraying Wally as the kind of likable, fun, and relatable superhero that he hasn't been for me since they made him the Flash (with the possible exception of JLU, which doesn't count.) In this book, which focuses on The Flash and Wonder Woman, we're back to the Wally as an arrogant and smug and more worried about himself than saving the world. Sure, he gives some lipservice to how great the League and Diana are, but his words aren't really supported by his actions. He seems much more annoyed at the League's intrusion in his life, which, in turn, made me want to smack him hard.

I'm also unconvinced that The League actually "needs" a Flash and the story didn't bother to convince me otherwise.

The story does get serious love for the portrayal of Diana here, however. I've had disagreements with people who think that JLA: Year One should be the official version of the JLA's founding days, and that Black Canary, not Wonder Woman, should be in the founding members. I've never believed that. I think that taking her away from the founding and not letting her be there from the start detracts from the icon status that Diana should have in her own universe. And the scenes where Wally is going on about how he and all his colleagues looked up to her only support that theory. She should be looked up to, every bit as much as Clark and Bruce - and though the boys are frequently gushed over and fanboyed (see Kyle Rayner's reactions in his early JLA appearances) Diana is frequently ignored. The one positive part of this story was seeing that corrected.

Overall Score: 3 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5

Comic I liked the least - Young Avengers Presents 4

Oi. Honestly, regardless of the issue? It is in serious bad taste to have one of your characters rant to the other in a thinly-veiled rant against the people who do not see the "truth" of the Civil War sides.

It didn't make me think Cassie was right, it made me think she was a bad friend, which is something that her original decision to walk away in Civil War didn't do.

I did like Vision's characterization here - and hey! Someone remembered his ties to Wanda, which is awesome - but I spent so much of the comic wondering what had happened to Cassie (and no, stress is simply not enough of a reason to explain the complete characterization change) that Visions' characterization wasn't enough for me.

Overall Score: 2 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: 1 doormat out of 5

Other Thoughts:

Birds of Prey 117 - Once upon a time, this was a comic with fun and interesting women whose adventures I cared about. That stopped being true around the time of OYL when Dinah lost her mind, and I keep waiting for it to get better and DC responds by repeatedly giving the Birds really bad stories and questionable decisions. The book briefly got better when Tony Bedard wrote a few decent issues, but quickly nose-dived again once McKeever took over. The best I can say about this issue is that Babs wasn't demanding that anyone call her "Miss Gordon," and the worst I can say is that the sanest person in this whole book is Misfit. How did that happen?

Overall Score: 2.5 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: 3 doormats out of 5

Batman 675 - Sweet, merciful goddess, are we never going to be rid of Damian and Talia? Moreover, is there anyone in the DCU that Damian can't best? He can out-fight Robin, out-shoot Merlyn (hell, probably Green Arrow too), and he's "teaching" things to people three times his age in fighting.

Say it with me: Mary Sue.

It's sad, really. Damian could be a lot of fun. But as he is written - and it isn't just Morrison failing in that area, as Damian's been written three different writers at this point and has been annoying in each of their hands - he isn't. Contrasted to Iris and Jai over in Flash, or Lian Harper everytime she shows up, Damian is an annoying detriment to the storyline. He doesn't make me like his father's book more, he gets in the way of liking it, much as Chris Kent does over in Superman.

Kids and domesticity can be fun in comics. But they have to be written in a way that tells me the world is a more interesting one for having them in it. Otherwise, they're wasted art. There's no way I can say that about Damian.

The fact that each and every time Talia refers to him, it is as "Batman's son," only makes me dislike his presence more.

As for the rest of the plot, oh, look, Batman's "dark." Again. Yawn. Because this hasn't been explored before.

Overall Score: 0 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: It's her goddamn son, too and naming your love interest "Jezebel" pisses me off. 5 doormats out of 5

Countdown 1 - "Crazy's not my thing." Oh, Jason. Crazy is pretty much everyone's thing that has had the misforturne to be in this horrible little book.

First of all, I"m not sure whether I want to laugh at the idea of Donna and *Jimmy Olsen* giving orders to Ray Palmer or if I want to bash the writers' heads against my computer desk. Honestly, Donna Troy and Jimmy Olsen? Are you *kidding* me?

Donna, dear, this isn't the Titans. Or, in the words more appropriate to the character you've been in this series: "Be gone. You have no power here." This is not the positive kind of assertiveness.

Also ... "I'm Mary Damn Marvel." Woe. That's worse than the previous all time Countdown low of "I'm Donna Troy, bitch."

When your book reads like a bad satire of itself, it's not actually a good thing.

Overall Score: 1 yay out of 5
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5

Superman/Batman 47

Oh, look. It's another "the government hates superheroes" plot. Boring as hell, though honestly, after reading the "heroes" in Countdown, I don't blame them.

Doesn't excuse rehashing the most boring plot device of all time, though.

Overall score: 2.5 yays out of 5
Doormat scores: 0 doormats out of 5

Belated Thoughts on Last Week's Comics

2008-04-22T05:35:00.000-07:00

Worst of the Week - Five Things That Were Good About Countdown:

1. The Flash: "Sorrywaytoobsuysavinglivesgetotsafetygottago!" It's sad that, out of all the characterizations in all of Countdown, that was probably the only one that made any sense.

2. Ray Palmer remembered he wasn't entirely useless!

3. Someone, namely Superman, reminded Kyle that he's not the BESTEST superhero ever, and should, essentially shut up already. Considering Kyle's hypocritical holier-than-thou attitude through Countdown, it was a welcome change.

4. No one mentioned the stupid "turns people to rats" virus.

5. No Jason appearances, which meant no hypocritical morality lessons from Kyle, Donna, or Mary Marvel.

Five Things That Were Awful About Countdown:

1. So, since when does Superman shrug and say, eh, they can't be saved, never mind trying?

2. The Justice League was particularly useless here, with the exception of Ray Palmer, who was only marginally useless, compared to his previous Countdown characterization.

3. No Jason.

4. No Piper.

5. The "death of Darkseid" and the father-son battle had all the emotional impact of a paper cut.

Overall Score: 1 yay out of 5.
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5.

Best of the Week - Six Things That Were Fantastic About Captain America 37

1. The entirely human reactions between the characters. Unlike other "big events," like Countdown and Civil War, Brubaker continues to make his Bucky-as-Cap arc about perfectly human reactions to both Steve's death and the world that Steve's death has brought.

2. Clint's reaction to Bucky and Bucky's reaction to that. I was kind of afraid for a second that the boys would decide to be really stupid and their argument would degenerate into the standard "who would win in a fight" contest. Brubaker proved me wrong, and proved that yeah, it only takes one person to have some sense in a battle for it not to happen.

3. I have been waiting for Falcon to respond to Bucky, and more importantly, Tony going behind his back and appointing Bucky as the new Cap. That Brubaker was able to show Sam as greatly upset and disappointed because he's worried about Bucky is a stroke of great characterization on Bucky's behalf.

4. "look out for the internet" - Oh, Brubaker. That's not supposed to be funny, is it? Because I LOLed. Also, Bucky's whole dream/nightmare as a whole was fantastically well done. It made me both miss Steve and hurt for Bucky.

5. Completely shallow, but yay for chest hair. Men in comics never have chest hair, and darn it, they should.

6. Sharon seems more in control of herself than in previous issues. I approve, muchly.

Overall Score: 5 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5

Quick Thoughts:

Flash 239

For the second month in a row, I am looking forward to the next month's Flash...what is that about? It's new, confusing, and absolutely delightful. Red Arrow shows more "Titans are Family" philosophy in the few panels he is in than in the entirety of Judd's disgraceful Titans issue, Jai and Iris are far better candidates for the current Teen Titans than the current crop.

Can we skip ahead a few years, and have the Lian-Iris-Jai-Milagro Teen Titans? Possibly mentored by Jaime? Because I would read that and possibly enjoy it more than I am current Teen Titans.

Yeah, yeah, never gonna happen. A girl can dream, though. *G*

I digressed from the point, which was that I truly enjoyed this peek of Wally and his family trying to balance superhero life with the demands of actually being a family. The only negative I have is that the Justice League's reactions were kind of off .

Overall Score: 4 yays out of 5.
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5.

Catwoman 78

"My god, girl. I hope nothing happened. I know you're a match for anyone, for anything. But a kid...A kid changes everything."

Oh, and here I thought it was Pfeifer's fault that Catwoman has sucked for so long - I never would have thought to blame Helena!

This book is getting canceled soon, and honestly, as sad as I should be about the lack of Selina Kyle book to buy...I can't. I mean, if your dog has rabies when you shoot it, you have to feel like you're doing her a favor, don't you? I don't want a Catwoman book where Slam is smarter and more interesting than the lead character, I don't want a Catwoman book where Selina gives up because it's easier than continuing to fight, and I don't want a book in which Catwoman is anything but the conniving, scheming, intelligent woman she's supposed to be.

This book lost sight of all of those things when Pfeifer took over, and I for one am glad for the ax its receiving, if only because it will make the pain finally stop.

As for this issue in particular, the art inside was gorgeous, the art on the cover not as much. Yes, let's have our female characters bite each other in fights. That's not pandering to a horrible stereotype at all, is it?

Overall Score: 0 yays out of 5.
Doormat Score: 5 doormats out of 5 for the goddamn cover alone.

Superman 675

You know how once in a while, you go to the soda machine on a nice hot day, put in your change, open your soda, and take a nice long drink, only to discover it's flat? That's what this issue was. Everyone said and did the right things, but the overall emotional punch that should have been there (the underlining theme was Clark's heart, for god's sake) was missing.

At the end of the issue, I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it either. Mostly, I just didn't care, and that complete lack of caring is not how I should feel about one of the three main DC properties' book particularly when Superman is my favorite character.

Overall Score: 2 yays out of 5.
Doormat Score: Well, Lois remembered that she is a reporter for 1 whole panel! However, since this isn't the Silver Age, that's really not enough for me. So, 3.5 doormats out of 5.

Eeek.

2008-04-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

So, I'm browsing here to look at the JLI statues and while I'm still in the middle of being traumatized by Ice's horrible, out of character rendering, I get a nice look at the Supergirl statue:

I just...I want to rant, but I have no words.

I suppose it's supposed to be attractive (I find the current art in Supergirl, with internal organs and actual clothes much more attractive, but eh, I'm clearly not the junior high school boy they are aiming for, so what I find attractive doesn't matter much) but are there actual people who think this is a.) good art or b.) attractive?

Her boobs are in her chin. The torso is dreadful. The skirt is a band-aide.

Or, as my good friend put it as we were discussing the statute:

"Maybe Kryptonian boobs migrated...but I don't think normal boobies go there on the body...They're like...in her shoudlers or something...It's like...the singularly most anatomically incorrect statue..."

Me: "Why does DC hate us so much?"

Her: "I don't know...but she's got a superlong torso...and her boobs are up by her shoulders...and her skirt is a mini and not even on her hips..."

Dear Friend continued, by quoting the site: "'She serves as a great companion piece to the previously released SUPERMAN Vinyl statue, and is manufactured to order.' Why didn't anyone tell me they released a Superman statue of Supes in a thong and cape? With a great huge man eating dick?"

Yeah, I didn't get the memo about that statue either.

Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham

2008-04-17T03:47:00.000-07:00

I've been spending a lot of time lately reading old Elseworlds, and seeking out new ones. I generally love the concepts behind a lot of Elseworlds, but the actual application usually ends up letting me down. With a couple of lovely exceptions, most Elseworlds read more like badly written fanfic than well written might-have-beens. It's frustrating, really, because so much more could have been done with the initial ideas. I don't think that writing an Elseworlds lets you off the hook with the basics of writing a good story. Characterization, reasonable plot, understandable and believable changes in the timeline are essential parts of an attempt to write an alternate universe and all those things are important in order for the reader to suspend their disbelief in the idea that these events could actually happen in some corner of the multi-verse. A problem with a lot of Elseworlds is that they forget this completely.

Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham is a very good case in point.

I love the premise of this story: that there is a world in which Catwoman and Batman's morality has been flipped, so that it is Catwoman who watches over Gotham (and Batman is a villain): "Gotham at Midnight: In the wake of a simple crime with hidden depths, distant light slashes blackness, becoming a bizarre symbol and signal. Responding to this silent call is the strange, sleek figure sworn to protect all the city's midnights."

So, so much potential there. It's really kind of sad that the storyline didn't live up to what it could have been, because that's actually a fantastic premise.

But a few general issues got in the way:

1.) In swapping Bruce and Selina's roles, very little attention is actually paid to Selina's characterization as we know it to be. Yes, it's an Elseworlds, so it isn't the same Selina, but the draw of writing Catwoman as Gotham's Guardian should be seeing how Catwoman would look in that role. All this does is cut Batman's name out of the story, and paste in Catwoman's name in its place.

A few examples: She lives in Stately Kyle Manor, has a butler who worries over her personal life and about her going "too dark," has a Cat ~~Cave~~ Lair underneath Stately Kyle Manor, buddies around with Jim Gordon, has a Catmobile, has Batman's same code of ethics, etc.

Even Jim Gordon's dialogue could be copied and pasted into a Bat comic, and no one would notice:

"Eh? Already gone...taking another tough one personally..as if she were Gotham's own guardian."

"Don't blame yourself. You didn't create his evil. Maybe the gimmick, but..."

Yeah, neither of those things really sound like something I'd have to bother to say to Selina if she were "Gotham's Guardian."

Also, her origin: Kid goes to see movie about cats. Mother is given jewelery on the night of the event. Parents are robbed and killed on way home from movie, making child an orphan determined to protect Gotham from similar creeps. Also, obsesses about the jewelery forever.

The trick of a good alternate universe is that despite the setting, despite whatever else you throw at your character, they still have to be reasonably recognizable as the character in question. Yes, you have to change them, but if you can't see the traits that made your character the one you were writing in the first place, what's the point of making it that character? Star Trek: TOS got this in Mirror, Mirror, for example: Spock may be a ruthless killer (fun!) but Good Kirk is still able to appeal to his logic. Evil!Kirk merely had his leadership and soldier skills amplified.

Similarly, there's no real reason that the main character in Guardian of Gotham had to be Selina Kyle. It could just as easily and bizarrely been Dinah Lance or Barbra Gordon. Because nothing in the characterization or plot tells me that this is any version of Selina Kyle. She's merely a Batman with breasts which are emphasized in every panel.

Oh, except that she likes cats. Sorry, that really isn't enough for me.

2.) The cheesecake art makes me want to spork out my own eyes.

First, let's look at Selina's crazy new costume:

You know, we all love our crazy Golden/Silver Age Catwoman costumes in all their silly impracticality. At least I do. *G* But something that DC has actually gotten right with Selina's canon is that as she became less about thieving and more about protecting her corner of Gotham, her costume changed to reflect that. It's still got a degree of cheesecake, and is still very sexy - as it should be, because being sensual is very much part of who Catwoman is as a character - but it's more practical to battle than before.

But how is the above remotely practical? First of all, that's a corset. Yeah, because jumping around on rooftops is something that would be great fun in a corset.

Secondly, why would she cover her ribs but not her chest? I would think if I were going to coat myself in protective Kevlar, I would cover the area where my heart is located first.

Thirdly...gods honest, is that a thong? Wow. I thought the corset would be uncomfortable, but I have to say that a Kevlar thong would be worse. Owch.

And finally, boobs don't work this way:

Of course, in comparison to Selina's "Alfred," that costume is almost practical:

Or Selina's "Two Face."

DEAR ARTIST: WHEN YOU HAVE A CHARACTER WHO IS IN A SUPERHERO COMIC AS EITHER A VILLAIN OR A HERO, YOU SHOULD NOT PUT THEM INTO SOMETHING THAT RESTRICTS THEIR LEG MOVEMENT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE OBVIOUS FETISHES.

Yeah, that's not a genderswapped Harvey Dent. Apparently, in a world where Batman was a Bad Guy, Harvey Dent never became Two Face. Someone should find a way to tell Bruce this, so he can angst about it.

This Two Face is a model who got into some bad makeup. Of course.

That's the other thing about A/Us - when you change things, there as to be a reasonable explanation as to why that falls in line with everything you've changed thus far. We know that Gotham has a Two Face, and we know his name is Harvey Dent. How does Selina being Gotham's Guardian (especially when her actions mirror our Bruce's so much) change that? Does Harvey Dent exist in this verse, and if so, is he lazily lying around with a nice cushy corporate lawyer job, and can't be bothered to go after the bad guys, thus, no acid in the face? Did he grow bored with law, get a sex change, and become a model?

You have to answer these questions if you want the story to make sense, and not just be random girls in fetish gear jumping around on top of each other. You know, if you don't want to be a lazy hack.

3.) As far as "Guardians of Gotham" go, Selina is pretty incompetent. We see her fight five major battles: Killer Croc, Batman, The Joker, "Two Face", and Batman once again.

Of these battles, we only see her "win" without help at the very end of the second book. We're supposed to believe that she's been Guardian of Gotham for years, yet she requires Batman's help to dispose of Killer Croc, The Joker, and Two Face. Wow. I hope this Guardian of Gotham gets a Robin soon. She could use the help.

Also:

Porn face, much?

Also... I love Bruce/Selina. They're one of my hard, unshakable pairings that I like in the comic universes. But the way that she falls for Bruce in this world is completely ridiculous and makes Selina look further incompetent.

Firstly, he breaks into her Stately Kyle Manor and discovers that Selina is Catwoman and then disappears without any trace and no one ever knows he was there. Really? Selina doesn't have any precautions or security measures in place to let her know that she was burglarized? Nice crime fighting, there.

After breaking into her home and discovering her identity, Bruce decides to wine and dine Selina and charm her way into his life. The better to kill her with, of course.

This is their first meeting:

"So who are the Waynes, if not socially registered?"
"Good question...I never knew my family."
"You ...grew up in an orphanage?"
"Only until I found a way to escape."
"What did you do then?"
"Learned the streets--learned to survive."
"Leading to what you do now...which is what, exactly?"
"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."
"Mysterious."
"Honest."
"And we can't discuss it further...?"
"It wouldn't be wise, Selina Kyle -- yes, I know who you are - but I am open to safer discussion."

Gee, Selina, that doesn't set off any alarm bells? Not even when your chat to Gordon had you say about Batman:

"And without the gimmick, without his Bat image, he'd still be nothing but a common thug - any man on the street."

Really? No alarm bells at all? Why not? If I lived in Gotham and some crazy man came up to me and said, "If I told you my real job I'd have to kill you," I wouldn't think he was kidding. I'd take him at face value.

4.) In their haste to show that Batman in this world is the BADDEST BAD ASS EVER, and EVER SO HARDCORE, they completely forgot what makes Bruce and Selina work together in the first place. Selina and Bruce work because they're flip sides of the same coin, and not all that different from the other. That's why they have attraction in both Selina/Bruce and Cat/Bat forms.

In this world, Bruce is a crazed serial killer who has far more in common with The Joker than he does with Catwoman (the regular version.) He's not remotely lovable, there's no chemistry between Catwoman and Batman here - just civilian Selina Kyle being stupid enough to fall for a sham romance.

Oh, Selina. You couldn't be bothered to do a basic background check to see if Bruce's cover story about his "undercover assignments" panned out?

5.) Bruce and Selina get married - because this Selina is stupid - and Selina's response to this is to stop fighting crime. Because "Batman took all the sharks and the police can handle the small fry."

Never mind that she has a serial killer hanging out in her city that she hasn't caught yet, of course. Because she's married! And pregnant! And happy!

And has the serial killer lurking in her kitchen laughing at her incompetence during the entire exchange.

6.) And then Batman strikes again, just after Selina has discovered that she is pregnant. He kills Brooks the Fetish Alfred, and attacks Selina - who is CATWOMAN.

This is how CATWOMAN responds to the attack:

There's not enough headdesk in the world. Woman! Kick his ass!

Or...just flail around uselessly and threaten Batman with calling the cops. That might be a good option, I suppose.

7.) When Selina finally remembers that she can kick his ass, it is actually a pretty awesome asskicking in which Batman doesn't stand a chance. I approve of this.

However, it is somewhat marred by this insanity:

That ring, by the way, is the one Selina gave her mother on the night she was killed. Just substitute it for Martha Wayne's pearls.

8.) And this is how it ends:

The storyline isn't without its good points. I do like the idea of Bruce, without his parents or Alfred, went to the dark side. I think that's very in keeping with what we know about modern Batman - there's obvious a screw or two loose, there, and it can't all be explained away because his parents died. Because plenty of people in the DCU lose their parents, and don't end up as Batman.

The ring may have been a cheesy as hell replacement for Martha Wayne's pearls, but I liked it. It was the kind of cutesy thing a child would have thought was very valuable, and the returning it to her mother's grave at the end was sweet and heart felt.

And...that's it for the good, really. What we don't get is how Selina as Guardian of Gotham is any different than Bruce doing the same (other than she sucks more at it) or how Selina is viewed in the larger whole of the superhero community. We're told Brooks is her only friend - but why? Where are the Dinahs, Dianas, etc. in this world? Where is the League? Did she decline membership? If so, why?

We didn't get the answers to any of those questions. Instead, all we got was Batman-with-boobs and some really bad cheesecake art. Which is a shame, really, because this could have been a great story.

The solution to the Dinah/Ollie nonsense was so easy...

2008-04-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

Get the woman some shrimp! Quick! Maybe then she'll come back to her senses and quit being Ollie's sidekick.

Yes, I hate he art, and Dinah has porn!face, but I chose instead to be amused by the fact that Ollie could be replaced by some really good shrimp. As he and their relationship is currently being written, that's exactly what should happen.

Various Reactions to Comics This Week

2008-04-14T00:46:00.000-07:00

Titans 1

Good points:

- Donna finally told Kyle what he has needed to hear all throughout Countdown: Namely, women can and do move on past their exes and no,she has better things to do than wait for them to get back together. Which automatically makes her cooler than Black Canary.

- Donna finally got rid of her ugly sparkly costume.

- Roy had Lian-father bonding time. This is always a plus, no matter how bad the story. Lian is the only child in the DCU that is written in a way that doesn't make me hate their parent for being an irresponsible asshole (see: Chris Kent, Damian Wayne, and that kid that Dinah let Ollie get rid of.)

- Roy secured his spot as the sanest Titan past/present/future. This is good for him, sucks for everyone else.

As for the bad:

Bad Points:

- Trigon AGAIN? Are you even serious?

- Let's review the women in this book:

* Kory: Poses for our "enjoyment."
* Donna: Needs Kyle to defend her.
* Raven: Is all about calling everyone a bitch. Because I love my female superheroes calling people "bitch." It's not at all offensive or a gendered term, at all. Never mind the bizarre characterization there.

- I just know that someone, either Churchill or Winick, said at some point, "hey, if we have Wally in the shower naked, no one can say anything about Donna or Kory."

Yeah, except for how that doesn't work.

Because this:

Is not at all equal to this:

Wally is portrayed as hero who happens to get caught in a shower. Kory *poses* for us through the whole damn thing.

Also, who was dumb enough to think "Hey, having Kory pose naked in front of a little boy is cute"? It's not cute, it's disgusting, and yes, Judd Winick, I suppose those are my frigid American sexual values. And according to those said values, a grown woman posing in naked in front of a little boy is gross.

- And again, Dick is in Gotham and Daddy Bats has to both save his ass and tell him that his friends are trying to reach him. Because every stitch of characterization in Nightwings' own book has been tossed aside.

Honestly, there's no difference in Dick's characterization at the start of this book and his characterization at the start of Outsiders. Which makes me frightened for how the book is going to turn out. I suppose when Roy and Dick get around to having a conversation, we get more of Dick calling Roy a junkie? Because that was certainly my favorite Outsiders moment.

I look *so* forward to seeing Judd repeat all his mistakes all over again with the rest of the Titans. Given the sheer incompetence of everyone in this story, he's up to a great start.

We have been told over and over again that Titans are family. There is absolutely no proof of that anywhere in this book. These people stand around together, as awkward as people gathered at a ten year high school reunion.

We already have one Titans full of spoiled, unlikeable people. We damn well don't need another one.

Overall Score: 1 yay out of 5 yays.
Doormat Score: 5 doormats out of 5 doormats.

Wonder Woman 19

Well, the good news is that we got to focus on Diana being a warrior and the inevitable courting rituals have been post-poned. Watching Diana best a GL in battle through mental battle was fun. It was also good to see her mental process in a battle. It was also good to see Etta back in action.

It was great to see Diana's "ambassador" traits being put to use, too.

And any time that it is remembered that Amazons are supposed to be compassionate, it makes for a wonderful story.

Nemesis was still there, wasting space as per his usual, but I didn't have to suffer through any attempts to court him, or to make Diana "vulnerable" in order to bring her *down* to his level, so he was tolerable this time.

Overall Score: 4 yays out of 5 yays
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5 doormats.

Booster Gold 8

I never really cared for Booster or Blue Beetle back during their time on the JL. I thought they were pretty silly, and the first time I cared about Blue Beetle was when it became a possibility that he could stand in the way of the Dick and Babs "true love" nonsense. Because I will root for Captain Hook himself if it will stop the retelling of Peter Pan for the millionth time. Ted is cooler than Captain Hook, so he immediately became a favorite.

This book, and the Jaime Reyes version of Blue Beetle have changed my mind about Booster and Ted. This book, Nightwing, and Blue Beetle are the only ones I'm actually looking forward to each month. There are others I love, but have issues with - Wonder Woman has Nemesis, and Captain America has its Sharon plot of stupid, etc.

But both Blue Beetle and Booster Gold manage to capture what I like about comics in the first place consistently. The heroes are decent, they are fighting bad guys, and there's no ridiculous attempt to make things dark, gritty, and "realistic." Between fights, there's fun banter between people who care about each other and choose to be teammates because of that.

That's what I want in comics, and that's what I get out of this book and Blue Beetle, and Nightwing. It's why Titans completely failed, because that is exactly what it should have delivered and did not.

This book makes me care about a character that I previously thought was a joke, and I love it for doing so.

Overall Score: 5 yays out of 5
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5 doormats.

Miscellaneous Bits:

Countdown 3

So...I shouldn't root for Mary Marvel to defeat Donna and Kyle, should I? And I shouldn't want laugh at the fact that Kyle's sum purpose in this story has been to knock Donna backwards?

Same old, same old for this title. I'm so glad it's almost over. At least no one mentioned crazy rat disease.

Overall Score: 1.5 yays out of 5.
Doormat Score: Hmm. Useless Donna and Crazy Mary Marvel with no willpower... 3 doormats out of 3.

Justice Society 14

So...we should let the abused children die so they can't grow up and abuse anyone else? Really? Nice.

It's always fun to see Alan Scott in battle! If the team was a reasonable size, we might actually get to see him actually do something. That would be awesome.

I don't care about the third/fourth world nonsense.

Overall Score: 3.5 yays out of 5 yays
Doormat Score: 0 doormats out of 5 doormats.

Black Canary/Green Arrow 7

You know what? I had a long rant about this. Because just like every month, it was awful. But there really isn't really point. The plot's still stupid. Dinah's still pointless.

Same old, same old.

Overall Score: 0 yays/0 yays.
Doormat Score: 5 doormats out of 5 doormats.

Immediate response to The Titans

2008-04-09T23:47:00.000-07:00

As for the "plot" itself, to quote a dear friend's reaction:

See the dead horse over there?
See the flogging device?
See Judd Winick?

Which, really, sums it up nicely.

Also, Dear Judd Winick, in case you didn't get the memo: DICK GRAYSON DOESN'T FUCKING LIVE IN GOTHAM ANYMORE. He hasn't lived in Gotham in a VERY LONG TIME. Why every story you tell with him places him in Gotham, I don't know.

As for the "art": cheesecake that continually puts the (female) characters in positions that make no sense for them to be in, and is so sleazy that I am surprised that my hands are not *sticky* from Churchill's *ink* when I pull turn the page.

Example A:

Mary Jane is Awesome

2008-03-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

One of the continuing awesome parts of Spider-Girl (and Amazing Spider-Girl) are the ways that it managed to show Mary Jane's agency and independence, as well as her feisty spirit, while they simultaneously allow Peter and May Jane to be one of the few couples in comic book history that actually manages to get domestic bliss right.

Mary Jane proves this particularly well in the following scene from Spider-Girl 20. Following the latest Green Goblin showing up and giving the typical villain shtick:

Mary Jane makes it clear that she is not going to be a complacent victim in his plans. Not at all.

I could read whole books worth of Mary Jane tossing people out of windows, honestly.

Regardless of who "Jackpot" may or may not end up being in the current boring storyline in Spider-Man, Mary Jane showed more ability and determination in those three panels than Jackpot has since BND started. It's also more than Sharon Carter, a supposed train SHIELD agent, has demostrated since Captain America 25.

Back When Sharon Carter Was Awesome

2008-03-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I hate the current Sharon Carter plot in Captain America. I'm all for a little grief, and I want my female characters to have three dimensional characteristics as much as my male ones. To that end, I don't mind a little pain and misery on their behalf, as long as it's proportionate, non-gratuitous, and makes sense to the character.

But the woman's been mindless/crazy/sobbing for eleven issues now, and it's getting old. Added to my annoyance is the fact that the baby in question is almost constantly referred to as Steve's baby. I understand that this is Captain America comic, but at this point, Sharon Carter's whole purpose is to be an incubator to the Rogers' sprog.

Pft. She used to be much more awesome than that.

My favorite example of this comes from Sentinel of Liberty. The art is horrible, but the characterization still fills me with fangirlish glee.

Exhibit A:

Steve is in the midst of a fight, and who should happen to show up unexpectantly to give him back up?

Awwww. She just wanted a little target practice.

This being the Sentinel of Liberty series, we have to have the mandatory flashback, in which we learn about one of Steve and Sharon's earlier adventures, where we discover that Sharon is not at all a pushover, and while she may respect Cap's position, she isn't falling all over herself to agree to everything he proposes.

Cap then makes the mistake of telling her that he'll watch out for her and that he doesn't want her to take any unnecessary chances on the mission. To which Sharon responds:

"Yeah, yeah. I remind you of your long-lost love from The Big One, etc. Well, you may help out Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. on occassion, but I'm full-time. I can handle myself, thanks."

Sharon the comes across a termination order for the rogue agent they are following. Sharon hides that knowledge from Steve, and that becomes important later, but first we have a little appropriately gratuitous violence:

Then we come back to the termination order, as Steve finds out that Sharon was withholding that knowledge from him:
Steve demands an explanation, but Sharon is focused on the mission at hand, and ignores him. Finally, however, she explains her reasoning after some more appropriately gratuitous violence:

"Kill any of them?"

"No, I don't ki-"

"Of course not. That's why I didn't tell you. I'm perfectly capable of carrying out this order myself."

"It was meant for me."

"It shouldn't have been. You've never hesitated to do whatever your country has asked of you. For as long as anyone can remember, you've been a perfect soldier. But never an assassin. You don't kill - not in cold blood. When I saw that you were suddenly being asked to choose between duty and conscience...I decided to spare you the burden. I'm a soldier, too...Steve. There are times I have to kill. I'm not proud of it...But my job gets dirty. Sometimes, the only way I can keep going...is to know that there's still one man out there who can always do the job clean."

The Sharon Carter who was able to deal with the negative parts of her job and didn't mind getting her hands dirty is a much more likable representative of the character than someone who falls down in her shower and sobs, or who continually has nervous breakdowns. Likewise, the one who can look Captain America in the eye, tell him he is wrong and point out why without flinching is one which has a spine that the current portrayal is missing.

And so, Sharon does what needs to be done:

And that ends the flashback, bringing us up to current day:

That Sharon? Kicks ass. She's also someone that I understand why Cap fell in love with. I would like her to come back soon.

Two Additional Points

2008-03-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

I only have two additional things to say about Nemesis, and that will be all for a while. At least until the next uncharacteristically bad scene with him in the next issue of Wonder Woman.

- When a discussion of current canon Nemesis occurs and you jump to the character's defense by pointing out that he didn't always used to be such a worthless creep, you are only repeating what everyone already knows. And as much fun as that is, it holds little relevance to the point that Nemesis is not a worthy mate for Wonder Woman. Because Diana isn't traveling back in time to "court" old Nemesis. She's stuck with the one current canon has given her, the one who for 18 issues and three different writers, has only managed to be annoying at best and competent only at the expense of Diana's own competency.

I don't care about the Nemesis that used to be. I care about the Nemesis that currently exists in Wonder Woman's book and is - for reasons that defy any logical explanation - being touted as a worthy mate to a woman who's been a part of Man's World long enough that she ought to know better.

- "They both fight for truth, justice, and the American way, so of course they'd be attracted to each other" makes no sense.

Let's review other people who also fight for the same reasons as Diana:

- Plastic Man
- Guy Gardner
- Any Other Green Lantern of Your Choice
- Ted Kord
- Dick Grayson
- Tim Drake
- Roy Harper
- Ray Palmer
- J'onn
- Damage
- Hawkman
- Vic Stone
- Beast Boy
- Snapper Carr

A pretty ridiculous list of people. But if we go with the "they fight for the same reasons," then Diana and Snapper Carr make just as good of a couple as Diana and That Creature.

Snapper probably likes cake, too, which is the only other thing we've seen Diana and Nemesis remotely bond over.

Is it natural that Diana would find someone at her new job attractive and pursue a relationship between them? Absolutely. Should she have a better reason than "hey, we work together" to want to court him? Yes. Because as any sane adult who's ever had a job knows, it takes more than a mutual place of employment to have a relationship with someone else.

Comics This Week Other Than Countdown

2008-03-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

Comic Book Round-Up for this week behind the cut.

Biggest Waste of My Time This Week, Other Than Countdown: Justice League of America 19

I don't know if we're supposed to believe that Roy is so stupid that he still "loves" Cheshire, or if Kendra is a crazy, emotional shrew. Whichever one it is, it makes me want to slap them both. I heard more mature discussions of relationships at my junior high lunch table.

Also, this was far and away the most boring thing I read this week. Either make the prison planet interesting, or move on to a plot point I can be bothered to care about.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 2/5

Biggest Improvement From Last Month: Birds of Prey 116

Hey, this week was actually readable! It had fun, interesting characters who remembered that they all have distingushable personalities. Awesome. I loved the obvious friendship that was portrayed between Zinda and Helena. It was a breath of fresh air, because it was done in character, and Helena found the spine that she misplaced last month.

Barbara was still Batman with red hair and made me want to shake her, of course. Frankly, when Lori was giving her speech about how Barbara doesn't control her life, I was cheering for the kid, because that's a speech Babs has needed to hear for a while.

Best of all, there was no discussion about anyone being pure. Thank god.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Most Unexpected Surprise of the Week: Flash 238

I don't like Wally. I don't like domestic nonsense in my comics because it is usually badly done (see Busiek's Superman.)

Yet I loved this comic. It is the only one that made me completely happy this week.

I'm very confused about this.

In general, Mark Waid tried to hard to make Wally THE VERY BEST FLASH ever, and Geoff Johns piled on the dreck with making Wally clean up Barry's messes. The result of that was someone who annoyed the heck out of me with his "perfection." I mean, on a good run, Wally puts Superman and Captain America's sainthoods to shame with the way he was portrayed.

But this Wally? Is down to earth and relateable (and in a positive way, not in a "Honey, I'll learn how to bowl if it'll help" way.) He makes mistakes, but they're understandable ones. His issues and temperament are surrounding the fact that he is an unemployed hero trying to take care of his kids and his wife. He is trying hard to be a hero, a father, and a husband - and in the process makes me root for him.

And it was finally remembered that Jay Garrick has been doing this a lot longer than Wally, and has every right to reprimand him when he makes a mistake. How wonderful.

I love their family life together. This is, in short, everything Busiek tried to do with Superman, and failed at.

Also - Wally and Linda are the most sane and believable couple in all of the DC Universe.

And this will never stop being funny:

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Most "This Would Be Great Except For the Stupid Pregnancy Storyline": Captain America 36

Bucky and his adventures with Natalia continue to be some of the greatest storytelling to come out of comics. I'm sad that she is exiting then story, because I really enjoyed their interactions together. They complimented each other well, and I was intrigued by their romance possibilities.

Also, I love the Tony Stark here. I wish he existed in other Marvel comic books, because I would read more of them if he did.

... But there's the ongoing Sharon plot. And it is like biting into a big chocolate cheesecake and coming away with a mouthful of maggots that were nestled inside the cake.

And if anyone at Marvel has to be a Skrull, I want it to be that baby. I have no reasonable plot device to explain how that could happen, but I want it to happen regardless.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 3/5

Biggest "I Have Conflicting Issues About This": Catwoman 77

I loved watching Selina kick ass through the JLA. Watching her beat up Batman in particular was fun.

But if she can be this great in her mind, why oh why can't she be this awesome the rest of the time?

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Oh, Countdown, why do you fail so badly?

2008-03-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

I'm weary of complaining about the gender issues involved in Countdown. They can be summed up thusly: Una cries all the time, Donna's useless. There's not really a positive portrayal of women in this whole series. Holly might be nice, except that she's too busy following to actually stand up and make her own decisions.

So instead of complaining about everyone being a doormat YET AGAIN, I"m going to try to explain why I hated the recent issue so much. I'm sure it will bring out the anti-Jason trolls, which is great, because I always enjoy a good laugh at people sick enough in the head to believe that it's a cute and good thing to have child (or teenager) beaten to death in a comic book story just because you don't like the character.

I've finally figured out what the actual purpose of Countdown is. It's to prove to us that Superboy Prime is right. All of these so-called "heroes" are undeserving punks who need wiped off the face of the planet. In fact, their planets can be wiped off the face of the existence, too, and I would be okay with this.

Because there are two people in the current issue of Countdown that have a shred of honor or decency, and those two people are Holly and Jason. Among those two, Holly rarely talks and Jason is supposedly the worst character and so "awful" to everyone that even perfect strangers meet him and can't stand him.

No, Paul Dini and Adam Beechen, that does not make any sense. This does not remotely begin to follow the character development you have shown. If I - or any sane, reasonable adult - were to meet the cast of characters you have depicted, it is not Jason that would get on my nerves.

Let's review the craptastic heroes we're supposed to think are awesome, as opposed to "that Jason punk."

- Donna Troy - She is completely ineffectual. Weak. Pathetic. She forgets continually that she used to be a kick ass Wonder Girl. She forgets that Jason is the Robin who talked some sense into her back when they were Titans together. She is passive-aggressive, whiney, and allowed Jason and Kyle to fight over her like she was a piece of meat without saying anything about it. Though she should be the leader of the team, she has demonstrated absolutely no leadership skill. Whined for three issues in a row about how big, bad, meanie Jason shot her in order to buy them time to get away from an impossible situation.

Her overall contribution? Making me wonder why the hell she needed to be brought back from the "dead."

- Mary Marvel. Mary had a bad phase in which she targeted innocents and destroyed their livelihoods. She blamed all of her evil on Black Adam, and refused to take any personal responsibility for the wrong she did, even though it was she that willingly took what Black Adam offered, when she damn well should have known better. She starting picking fights with Jason the minute she joined the team, which shows great teamwork skills on her behalf. This issue showed that she "almost killed that Jason punk." Which, you know, puts her in the same league as the Joker. Great heroing, Mary Marvel.

- Kyle Rayner. His main concern has consistently been trying to get in Donna's pants. He seems to completely forget that he's been Parallax, and the harm he caused as that is far worse than any "punkish" things Jason may have done during this series. He completely wins the prize for biggest hypocrite and character I'd most like to die during the course of this series.

-Harley Quinn. Harley's wrongs speak for themselves. She chose them. The Joker didn't make her do them, no matter how else he may have victimized her. She is responsible for countless deaths of innocents. Yet this issue has a confrontation between Harley and Jason and it's obvious that they want me to believe that it was poor widdle Harley who was wronged by Jason's punkish self.

You know what? If I had been beaten with a crowbar and had a building blown up around me by the Joker, I wouldn't be all happy with his psycho ex-girlfriend either, reform or no reform.

But more importantly, I'm actually supposed to believe that a reformed Jason Todd (who isn't' killing anyone that isn't a Joker anymore, as far as we have been shown) is WORSE than a reformed Harley Quinn? Are you kidding me with that nonsense?

- The Atom - He couldn't hack being a hero anymore after his wife went nuts. He ran away, found a woman who looked like his crazy ex-wife and lied to her about everything he was. He's generally been portrayed as a weak-willed coward, who didn't have the gumption to ignore Donna and her crappy friends and do what needed to be done to save billions. An entire world will die because he was a coward.

Now, I'm supposed to look at that group, a gang of people who believe that it is fair and just to use their superpowers on a normal human being FOR NO GOOD REASON and when THEY AREN'T IN BATTLE, and side WITH them? Sorry, but no. I don't like hypocrites, I don't like bullies, and I don't like cowards. And that's all those people are.

They damn well aren't heroes.

To be fair, these people are all better than what they have been portrayed as. Kyle is a much better, kinder, more decent human being than this, and I weep for his lost characterization in between bouts of wanting to punch this version of his character. Donna, in the hands of a good writer (read: no one involved in Countdown) is a good, solid character who does the Wonder legacy proud. Ray Palmer is awesome, period. I don't follow the Marvel family, but I have been told by people whose opinions I respect that she used to be a fun character. Countdown isn't an accurate portrayal of these people - it's the writers failing at their jobs. Because these people are the last that should be portrayed as bullies, hypocrites and cowards.

The results of the vote-in-phone line was not unanimous. It would be really great if the writers of Countdown would remember that, and quit making me chose a side between "the good guys" and Jason.

Because in my book - and a lot of others' books as well - Jason's a good guy too.

And even if you don't think he is, having every single character in your book bash him makes you a hack writer, period. Because I don't care about how Paul Dini feels about Jason Todd. That shouldn't show up in the pages. What should show up is how the characters feel about him - and these people wouldn't treat their teammate this way.

Because it's not how heroes should treat their teammate, especially one who has spent a year (at least in our time) helping them when he had no real obligation to do so in the first place.

When the writer forgets that, it makes me want to line up all the other characters in his story and beat them with a crowbar for a while. After all, Countdown shows us that is a just and deserving way to punish a character you don't like.

Honestly, other than Jason and Holly, if the virus wiped out everyone on this "world," I wouldn't care.

Also - Hal Jordan isn't dumb enough to spread the disease that way, particularly when he can use his ring to communicate off world.

Well, BOP used to be awesome, once

2008-03-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

This really shouldn't be funny, but sadly is...

Description of "Old Birds of Prey" versus "New Birds of Prey" in a comment made on Livejournal:

"...the old days when BOP was all about the Dinah-Babs Power Hour and not 'rehab clinic for superheroes with two X chromosomes.'"

Pretty much hits the nail on the head and expresses my annoyance at the current writer/line-up.

And now for something a little different: something that brings me joy

2008-03-19T03:54:00.000-07:00

Because I don't post nearly enough things on this blog that make me happy and because I was flipping through my Impulse collection this morning:

I just love that this woman has one of the fastest men alive there to save her from the gunman, and yet she saves herself instead, by utilizing her self defense classes.

There should be more damsels in distress like that in comics.

This quote is really much more entertaining than WW itself was

2008-03-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

" I haven’t been following Wonder Woman, but a friend told me to read the scene in question, and all I can say was that Diana’s comment about “learning how to [bowl] if it would help” was so mind-numbingly ADORABLE. The scene made her seem more vulnerable as a person and honestly more relateable."

Mind-numbing I agree on. In the same way that being smacked in the head with a hammer is mind-numbing. Coincidentally, this issue of Wonder Woman was just as adorable as being smacked in the head with a hammer.

I have deep, deep concerns with the idea that Diana lowering herself to an unworthy mate's standard somehow makes her "relateable" or that making her less intelligent (because an intelligent person would not pick That Creature, not as he is currently being written) is a worthy goal. I don't look at his Diana while she's "courting" That Creature and say "aww, that's cute! I know women with equally bad taste in men! How fun!" I look at her and say, "oh, look, there's DC proving once again they can't write interesting and equal couples interaction in their comics."

It shouldn't be that hard. The time is long past for Diana to have a love interest. The continual lack of a steady on panel love interest since rewriting Steve Trevor's background is silly. But this is Wonder Woman. Writing her falling all over herself for an idiot not worthy of her time is not cute, and it it is not relateable. It cheapens the whole point of the character by saying that this fantastic woman should not seek out a man with similar interests who wants her for everything she is, but rather that she should lower her standards and seek out a mate for whom she would have to change her interests to match his. It isn't a matter of compromise - all relationships have that. Where's his changing for her? Getting used to a courting ritual that involves a beautiful woman telling him how in love with him she is? Wow, poor guy. More importantly, what on earth do these people have in common? They work at the same job? At my last job, I had a photographer who used to pick his nose in the middle of eating lunch and saw nothing wrong with that. I refrained from jumping his bones on the flimsy basis that he was the closest available man. Because I have a small thing called standards.

I'm really sorry that Wonder Woman doesn't.

And as long as we're playing the friend game, I have two friends I discussed the latest issue of Wondy to as well. The first was a long time reader, who hasn't read in years, but was thinking about starting again, based on all the hype that Simone's WW is getting. She then saw the courting scene in question with Nemesis and changed her mind.

The second friend is the one I've been trying to get into Wonder Woman, to wash the Geoff Johns taste out of her mouth. I merely read her the above quote, and her reply was: " Ummmmm...I hate to say it sweetie.... but with scenes like the one described here, I'm not touching Wonder Woman with a ten foot pole. Sorry.but yet again...my opinion of Wonder Woman...goes right back to where it was."

Guess they're really not into the mind-numbing stuff.

Immediate Response to Wonder Woman 18

2008-03-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

Admittedly (but unapologetically) ranty thoughts behind the cut.

Gee, here I thought the days of Wonder Woman having a bad romance writer on the title were over.

This was a completely vulgar story and I continue to wonder why Simone's women have either completely dreadful taste in men or are completely chaste.

I do love the complete absurdity of the seriousness with which Diana began "courting" this man - who proves everything bad that her people might ever have said about Man's World, wrapped up into one incompetent little shell.

I'm sure someone thinks this is a cute story, but all it does for me is make me consider that Steve Trevor wasn't so bad in his day. Because even at Trevor's worst, with his crazy Lois Lane style plots to get Diana to marry him, Nemesis isn't fit to lick dog manure of Trevor's boots.

She'll learn how to go bowling for the man? Are you fucking kidding me? How bought instead he learn how to be competent and worthy of her? What's next, is she going to find some bratty kid and decide to spend her life playing Barbies with the kid while she cooks dinner and anxiously waits for Tommy-poo to get home? Will Black Canary make guest appearances and complain because her Olliekins sent her Barbies off with Sin and now she doesn't have any way to fill her days but eating bon bons and looking for Connor's wandering body?

Christ. It's Wonder Woman. It's not a hard concept. Give her a man worthy of her. Not this jackass.

The art's horrible, too. Diana looks either shocked or really, really sad. Given the content of the "story," I can't say I blame her, but it'd still be nice for the artist to bother to put something besides ya'know, two expressions.

Oh, Cassie, what happened to you?

2008-03-10T23:53:00.000-07:00

I say a lot of mean things about both Wonder Girls from time to time, but Cassie Sandsmark in particular, because a lot of the time, they simply don't live up to the expectations I have of a character that is following in Diana's footsteps. I think that a good Wonder Girl has to be worthy of the W in the same way that Kara should be worthy of the S - except that I think in the Wonder Girl case, it's even more important.

It wasn't always the case, though. Donna has some truly spectacular moments in the New Teen Titans (even if she does get saddled with the Terry Long in the process, poor woman) and Countdown drives me crazy by forgetting her Titan characterizations repeatedly.

Cassie is a harder case to make, but she had her standout moments too. Unlike a lot of people, I'd never claim that Young Justice was one of them. Cassie spends practically the entirety of that series being infatuated with Kon-El (hey, I loved the Kid too, but I expect better of a Wonder Girl story than her following some guy around like a lovestruck puppy, especially in the early issues where he doesn't return her feelings.)

On the other hand, the Cassie in Wonder Woman does have some impressive moments. She even starts out the right way - by asking for the powers she is granted, which is exactly the kind of spunky, independent streak I expect out of a Wonder Girl worthy of the name.

But this page, from when she is attacked by the Nessie version of Silver Swan, shows her at what was once a truly great characterization:

"Open your eyes. I want you awake for this."

"I am awake, you doofus."

"What?!"

"It's called 'playing possum,' idiot. A little trick I learned the second day of Amazon Superhero Training 101. All your whining and crabbing. I'm sick of it. And I'm sick of that damn scream, too."

Oh, Cassie. There's a very sad irony about Awesome!Cassie being sick of people whining and crabbing....given her current characterization.

Two pages that express my love for Steph and Barbara

2008-03-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Ah, Steph. Those two panels really capture for me what made Stephanie so much fun. She was a great character because despite having several crappy adult role models, she still wanted to do good for the sake of doing good (which is you know, the definition of being a superhero and something a lot of the current crop of Teen Titans could learn a lesson from her.) And despite all the bad that life tossed her way, was fairly upbeat about it too.

That's why the current arc in the Robin title has me terrified that they are going to mess with that legacy in a big, big way. At DC, it seems to be par for the course to come back from the dead and be full of angst (and a side dish of evil in some cases) but that isn't Steph, and if this arc is headed in the direction I think it is...I hope they remember that.

And oh, Sean McKeever, see Babs up there being awesome? See Stephanie not calling her "Miss Gordon"? See Barbara not being completely unlikeable and unreasonable? Yeah, that's a good Barbara. The Barbara in your Birds? Not as much.

Comic Roundup

2008-03-03T21:54:00.000-08:00

Comic Thoughs Behind the Cut.

Countdown 9 -

Overall Story: I'm also not sure who decided that Kyle Rayner should be the voice of the disgruntled population that doesn't like Jason Todd in their comics, but it's a stinky decision, and it's one that doesn't make a whole lot of sense for two reasons:

a.) Kyle's part of a decently sized police force. If he doesn't like some of his team members in the GL Corps, does he plan to just ditch them behind because it's convenient?

b.) Kyle has no problem with Mary Marvel or Harley Quinn, but does with Jason? Let's see, maybe he doesn't know about Mary Marvel's little spell of evil (or maybe he does, and he's supposed to say 'eh, just a phase,' something those farmers she tormented probably don't have the luxury of doing ) but he has to know of Harley Quinn's past which is a lot worse than Jason's ever was.

Jason's not a team player, but Donna and Kyle are supposed to be. Maybe they *both* could act like it in just one issue. Because aren't heroes supposed to be "better" than those they look down their nose at?

Apparently not in the Countdown universe, because at the end of this issue, I am left feeling that the most faithful member of this entire story is Piper, who continues to be lovable in his devotion to his dead friend, and that says some very sad things about the "heroes" of the story.

However, reading it was not a complete waste of time, because the following exchange made it worth it entirely:

Mary Marvel: "What's going on?"
Holly: "I gave up trying to figure it out."

That...sums up Countdown nicely. Whereas "what's going on" translates to "why is this story arc necessary?"

Doormat Thoughts: At some point in time, the writers of Countdown are going to make Donna remember that she is a heroine and not a mindless damsel, and I am going to have a heart attack from the shock.

And for all the power that Mary, Harley, and Holly are supposed to have, they're still depending on Kyle to save them? Oi.

Overall Score: 2/5 yays
Doormat Score: 3.5/5 doormats

Blue Beetle 24

Overall Story: Jaime's new enough that I'm not certain he'll keep finding sneaky ways to defeat his enemies, or that he'll continue to be as well adjusted and fun while he does it, in the face of such huge odds...but this book is so well written that I desperately hope he does.

Doormat Thoughts: I'm also quite impressed with the gender relationships in this book. It all seems very balanced. There's a loving mother, and there's the woman who showed up to save Jaime's family. There's a smart science geek girl and a woman who knows her way around weapons. It's a book I'd feel comfortable giving my niece just as much as I would my nephew to read.

Overall Score: 5/5 yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Project Superpowers 1

Overall Thoughts: In the same way that I praise Morrison for not being too heavy handed with his evil plot of doom over in Batman, I have to roll my eyes and point to this story as being the exact opposite. The characters might as well all carry neon signs around their necks with the words "I have angst!" or "My malevolence, let me show you it!"

Bah. I want to like these characters, but I'm not sure there's any real reason for me to do so. Cookie-cutter characterizations and a slow paced plot make for an overall not enjoyable story and not one I'm sure I have a vested interest in following past this issue.

Doormat Thoughts: Well, the woman in the story is just as boring and lacking in character as the men, so there's something to be said for equality there.

Overall Score: 0/5 yays
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats

Justice Society of America 13

Overall Thoughts: Team's still too big, but at least they are acknowledging that in the storyline.

Doormat Thoughts: "I know who you are, Hercules. But your actions against Hippolyta and the Amazons speak louder than your Twelve Labors."

Thank you, Kal. Who knew I'd need a JSA issue to wipe away the taste of a badly written Wonder Girl mini?

Overall Score: 3/5 yays
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats

Teen Titans 56

Overall Score: The good teen heroes go to the JSA and the bad ones go to be a Teen Titan, right? At least, that's what this issue combined with the JSA is telling me. The Titans are supposed to be a family. And while family is occasionally cruel to each other, they are supposed to care for each other too. These guys? Obviously do not.

Doormat Thoughts: Well, at least they recognized that boys playing in a girls' underwear drawer isn't all shucks fun and games, and is an invasion of privacy (Hey, Countdown to Adventure, you want to take notes?) . I'll grant them a clap for that. But their characters, male and female, are still horrid.

Overall Score: 1/5 yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Captain America 35

Overall Thoughts: I still love this comic. I love that every breath Bucky takes, is one that wants so hard to make Steve proud.

I also love that he isn't in any way a shadow of what Steve used to be. He's never been Steve, and never should be.

Doormat Score: The Sharon plot makes me cry. Why is a woman who used to kick so much ass so pathetically weak? She should be every bit as awesome as Black Widow.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 3.5/5

Final backlog from vacation: brief thoughts from last week's haul

2008-02-27T01:14:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what was wrong with last week’s comics, but I can’t confidently say any of them were any good. I flipped through most of them, growing more and more bored by the minute, just aching for them to finally be over. I was glad when I was done with the mess and certainly won’t be reading any of them again any time soon.

So nothing really very positive in this round-up.

Most "This is why I like Jason Todd and am convinced he is the sanest person in the entire Countdown series since Piper went crazy after Trickster's death":

Jason, from Countdown 11:

"You're supposed to be a genius so I suggest you put that big brain to work on our problem."

"Between Ray's whining and Kyle's constant flexing for Donna, I need time to clear my heard and fill it with the compact sound of leather fists cracking jawbones."

And Jason from Countdown 10

"You know what...the hell with you. I've never been much good at rescuing people. Having fun being absorbed!"

Most "OMG, KYLE, YOU CAME BACK TO US! IF ONLY FOR ONE PANEL!" Scene, from Countdown:

Most "WTF kind of crazy characterization is this?"scene: Birds of Prey 115

"I could be grading pop quizzes and watercolor paintings right now, or trying to pretend like I have a life. That's okay, though. I don't actually mind. If it means helping Zinda, I think I'll always be on board."

That’s Helena? In what crazy universe?

Also, runner up:

"There's something about Zinda that's worthy of all my respect. Something that's worth preserving. Her CHARACTER, inherent and pure, and her unwavering dedication to it. The fact that this Killer Shark guy would try to SUBVERT all that just makes me --"

So…Helena is really Anne Shirley, complete with italics and crazy capitalization?

I like Anne Shirley, but Helena should be a tad different.

It’s odd. Later in the issue, Helena is boasting about how Killer Shark doesn’t know who he’s messing with, and all I can think is "yeah, neither does the author, because you damn well aren't the Huntress I remember."

Also, it’s 2008. To hell with being PURE.

*sigh.* Go away, McKeever. And never come back.

As for the rest of Birds of Prey, it’s good to know that Barbara’s still a crazy loon, McKeever is still set on portraying women as bickering incompetents and generally, the characterization just completely lacks in every way.

Most "Hey, this was surprisingly not as bad as every other issue he’s given us so far": Catwoman 76

This one really surprised me. I’m so used to Catwoman being bad, as it’s been nothing but since OYL began. But Selina was almost intelligent here, showed cunning and some semblance of a brain, and the world we were shown was a fun and interesting one.

Selina was on top of her game here, and I can’t help but wonder if Pfeifer is capable of writing his women this way, then why the hell hasn’t he done it before? Evil Maggie was far more interesting than anything we saw during Amazons Attack.

Most "And then the Thunderbolts made Tony Stark angry enough that Amanda Waller stole some of Bruce Wayne’s DNA to make a new Batman, right?" issue: Justice League 18.

Yuck.

Please die, overused evil government plot.

Yeah, yeah, George W. Bush is evil. Go form a protest line. Stop writing badly written comics about it, please?

Because once a writer starts hauling out the tried and true evil government plot I start to suspect they have run out of fresh new things to say. Especially when the Justice League Unlimited repeats are on Boomerang every night to back up that theory.

Most "Please stop shoving your ideology down my throat, Chuck Dixon" issue: Robin 171:

Seriously. You aren’t going to make me convert to your religion, no matter how many hilariously bad, and OOC scenes you have with Robin wondering if Stephanie is his guardian angel.

Also, before you took over, Zoanne wasn’t a harpy. Please do not make the Tim/Zoanne the Dick/Kory of your Tim/Steph OTP 4EVA plot.

Most Hilarious Scene of the Week: Flash 237

I want Jai West to grow up and become a bank robber for REAL.

Then I want someone to turn to him and say, "Hey, Bart’s mistakes don’t look so bad now, do they?"

Because it would be fitting.

Also, worst art ever.

Most "Are you SERIOUS?" scene: Wonder Girl 6

Look, Cassie has been a dreadful Wonder Girl since she fell into the hands of Geoff Johns. She is in no way fit to carry on the legacy of two kickass women. She downed AirForce One. She started a cult.

She is mentally not well.

The fact that we got a scene in which Cassie "forgives" Diana for her mistakes is one of the more screwed up scenes I have read in comics.

She’s still an ungrateful child, and is in desperate need of the current Supergirl writer to take her over and make her likeable again. Because all this series did was make me dislike her ten times as much as I did before.

Back From Vacation, Part III: Miscellaneous

2008-02-24T16:09:00.001-08:00

Supergirl 26
This issue made me really glad I didn’t give up on the series completely and stuck around for a writer (and artist) who know what they’re doing.

This Kara is a superhero. She’s worthy both of the symbol on her chest and of the women who wore it in past decades, something this Kara wasn’t at the outset. She isn’t Superman’s sidekick, but she does respect him and realize he knows what he’s doing. When they have a disagreement, it rings very true to the average adult-teenager squabble, and doesn’t make Kara look like a spoiled brat.

This Kara is very real, and very likeable, and I’m sorry this Kara couldn’t have been in the Titans, though frankly, given Cassie’s portrayal in that title, Kara should be glad she is far, far away from that writer’s “skills.”

Her problems are realistic, too. She’s not quite used to her powers yet and is frustrated by the sheer common placed stupidity of humans.

I happen to like her interactions with Clark. I like him playing an active role in her life, and the interactions between the two of them ring a lot more true than the “Daddy Clark” and the Super Son over in Clark’s own title.

Also, I adore the art. It makes Kara look like a muscled hero, which is exactly how she should look.

Is it perfect? Nah. Some of it’s a little clumsy. The “heroes can’t save us from cancer or from ourselves” has been done…but it feels true and paints the character in a respectful and good light. I like this Kara, and want to know more about her.

Overall Score: 3.5 yays out of 5 possible yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5

Tiny Titans 1

Eh. I realize I’m not in the audience for Tiny Titans at all, and that’s fine. I’m all for aiming comics towards the younger set.

But I’m not sure who, exactly, DC thinks is going to catch onto Tiny Titans. There’s no plot, at all. Even your most basic fairy tales have plots. Go read a Grimm’s brother’s tale- it’s there in spades. In fact, outside of silly nursery rhymes, anything you read to little kids has to have a plot. What’s the point in reading it to them, otherwise?

Actually, nursery rhymes are more well put together than this was. This is the literary equivalent of standing over a crib going “Ga ga, boo boo,” to a kid to get a gas-ridden smile in return.

All I know is that when I was three years old, I fell madly in love with He-Man/Thundercats/She-Ra and I loved them because they were fighting BAD GUYS. Did I understand much of the plot beyond that? No! But I loved that, and it was that plot that my cousins and I re-enacted with our stick swords and make-believe shields.

We never pretended He-Man solved the day by giving Skeletor a lollipop, and She-Ra damn well never played with Barbies. What kind of crack are you on, DC?

It’s likely the love of good guys vs. bad guys that led me to comics in the first place.

My own nieces and nephews have similar stories, with the heroes of their generations: Power Rangers on one end , Kim Possible and Teen Titans on the other. They are very obviously watching the shows for the good guys vs. bad guys plots. My niece is eight now, and plays with Brats dolls. She grew up on Teen Titans and frequently makes up stories of the Teen Titans with said dolls.

I let her read this issue. Her three responses were this:

A.) “But Slade’s a bad guy, not a principal!”
B.) “Why didn’t they take Plasmus to prison?”
C.) “Can I read some of your real Titans books now?”

Then she went back to her Brats dolls, and proceeded to make up much more complicated plots than the ones DC is trying to sell in Tiny Titans.

I was proud of her good taste.

Overall Score: (The niece says I should give it a zero, but that’s pretty harsh.) 1 yay out of 5, because the art is pretty.
Doormat Score: You know, She-Ra lived in a pink and purple woods, and wasn’t as stereotypical as these little girls. Sit around and talk about boys over Barbies? Bah. 3/5

Teen Titans Year One 2

This is the opposite of Tiny Titans. It’s a good story that actually works well for the younger set. I wish they’d give Wolfram a full series to do with the founding five Titans, with the freedom to portray them just as they are here. Because I don’t trust Judd to not screw up his Titans and the current Teen Titans is horrid.

I let the niece read this one too. General reactions ranged from “Aw, Aqualad!” to “Why are the fish talking?” to “Poor Kid Flash!” to “Wonder Girl saved them all! She‘s cool!”

She was right, this is a glorious shot:

Yeah, the kid was into the characterization, imagine that? As a long time lover of the Teen Titans, I was into it, too.

Also, I love this Donna. This is the Donna that I am missing from Countdown: one who shows up and saves the day and is a hero. It’s great to have her back.

I’m sad that this is going to end in a few more issues, but I am loving the ride so far.

Overall Score: 5/5 yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Nightwing 141

I like this Dick Grayson. He’s mentally healthy, has a normal social outlook for a man his age, isn’t clinging to either girlfriend from his teenage years, and generally isn’t trying to audition for the next production of Peter Pan.

He’s a good big brother. He keeps in contact with various superheroes in the community, is someone Superman can rely on, and loves his former Titans dearly. This is the Dick Grayson that should be - and exactly why I never liked either Chuck Dixon’s version nor Devin Grayson’s. Because there versions were childish assholes who were not Dick Grayson, period.

This guy is. I hope he sticks around for a while.

I also like the librarian. She’s spunky and fun, and much better for him emotionally from what we’ve seen than Barbara is (because Barbara = Batgirl in his mind, not Barbara Gordon.) They were actually having fun on their date, and not rehashing the past! It was a gorgeous thing.

Overall Score: 5/5 yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Wonder Woman 17

I’m very pleased Hippolyta isn’t dead.

There was a lot I was fond of characterization wise, but overall, I felt like the plot didn’t really reach the full potential it could have. At the end of the story, I wrinkled my nose and thought it was a great set up, not so much a great pay off.

But it’s the next one that has me worried.

Ugh. Look, Nemesis isn’t Steve Trevor, not that Diana should have a Steve Trevor in her life again. There’s no reason Diana should share anything with the creature. He’s been nothing but a crap partner from the get go and Simone‘s taking over hasn‘t changed that. He’s still a little rat, and the only Amazonian ritual he needs introduced to is getting gutted on panel.

Slowly.

Overall Score: 3.5/5 yays.
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Justice Society of America 12

A whole lot of fun characterization moments, I suppose…but look, how many new recruits are we going to have? It’s really well past ridiculous at this point.

Of the new recruits, the ones I find most intriguing are Lightning (though why they are recruiting Jennifer Pierce and not saving her sister from the dreadfulness that is the Outsiders, I don’t know - would you really want your kid and legacy training under Batman? Where there‘s a two out of four chance the kid under his watch ends up dead?) and Cyclone. Everyone else, I’m pretty “meh” about at this point.

Just…twelve issues and you’re still recruiting, guys? Really?

Overall Score: 2/5 yays
Doormat Score: 0/5 doormats.

Back From Vacation, part II: Superman 673

2008-02-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Superman 673

Things I liked about this issue:

- I am a fan of Lana Lang. I always have been, and most of the time, I preferred her "love story" with Clark to the one we got from Lois. I thought she was more fun and I greatly prefer her adventures.

So I enjoyed her portrayal here. She’s a tough cookie, she takes on the Insect Queen not because the woman is hurting her feelings or flirting with Clark but because Lana Lang is smart enough to know that Superman is the key to saving them all and that in order for that to happen, Superman needs time to recuperate.

I loved that. Greatly.

That the lost Lex Corps men slowly came to respect her because of her bravery was also very enjoyable, as was the fact that Lois seemed pleased to see Lana doing well.

-Clark’s discussion of how he sees Earth as very fragile because of what happened to Krypton, and how easily The Insect Queen was able to use that against him were excellent characterization touches.

And I see my world, as she intends to make it.

My world. Dead. Enslaved. Destroyed.

All that it once did, all that it once was, wiped away…

And my people…or what used to be my people…

Their bodies changed, their minds gone, subsumed to the hive-purpose. Just organic machines now. All their spirit, all their individuality, murdered.

No thought but work. No work but hers. The world buzzes with activity, but my world…gone. As dead as lost Krypton.

"N-no…won’t sleep…won’t fall..won’t lose Earth…not another…not again."

Much of this story feels forced, characterization wise, as though everyone has been replaced by ~~Skrulls~~ some random Stepford wannabes, but this was one of the rare moments where characterization felt true.

I didn’t like this issue, over all, but the characterization of Lana and Clark were two highlights in an otherwise dreadful little story.

Parts I didn’t like:

- How many issues is Lois going to go without having a purpose other than being wife and mom? Honestly, doesn’t she miss doing something besides coddling the child Clark brought home? Why does her life have to end - after the threat of him blowing up has been neutralized - just so Chris can have someone to make him feel better?

Yeah, Lois, you probably have.

Earth to Busiek: Women can and DO work outside the home. We can even vote, too. Sorry if that shatters your little nineteenth century paradigm of gender relations.

Never mind that she stinks as a mom. She can't actually do anything as an effective parent - they have to wait for Daddy Clark to get home and make everything better. Pft.

- Ah, so the little bug sons created with his DNA were supposed to represent Kon, right? A big "SUPERBOY IS DEAD, GET OVER IT," right? Because that’s what it felt like.

Look, I’m trying not to do the Dick Grayson-Jason Todd fan boy thing with Kon and Chris. It’s not Chris’ fault as a character that Kurt Busiek thinks Clark is an asshole who forgets Kon-El ever existed and takes in the first little brat that comes along without ever mentioning Kon and coddles him in a way Clark never bothered to do with the boy who shared DNA with him. It’s really not.

But Chris’ whole characterization is "I’m CUTE! Daddy Clark! Mommy Lois! I have abandonment issues!" And that is annoying. You aren’t cute, kid. Go choke on a Kryptonite-laced pretzel.

And no, Busiek, I really hate to break it to you, but Lois/Clark+Chris is not, and shall never be, the same as Ma/Pa+Clark Kent. The end wasn’t cute. It was nauseating and worthy of an eye roll.

Mostly, I just want Lois to get her brain and spine back. I want her to have a job. I want her to remember that she loves being a reporter, that she has some purpose in life than being a mom, that her life is an exciting and wonderful place.

And I want Clark to stop being a hypocritical jerk.

I don’t think either of these things is going to happen soon, at least not while Busiek is at the helm, and that’s very sad.

Overall Score: 2 yays out of five possible yays.
Doormat Score: Despite Lana’s awesomeness, 3 doormats out of 5 possible doormats.

Catching Up From Vacation, part one: GA/BC #5

2008-02-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

Green Arrow/Black Canary #5

You know, there’s a lot that still makes me indignant about this story. Namely, that Dinah truly has no other purpose in the story other than to support/gush over/worry about Ollie. We keep learning, with each successive story, more and more detail about Ollie’s life sans Dinah. In fact, the bulk of this issue was a stroll down memory lane for Ollie about his life pre-Dinah.

We have nothing like that for Dinah in her life pre (or post, since they were, you know, broken up for the longest time, something no one at DC seems to remember) - Ollie. The closest we have is the presence of Oracle. But even that is botched, because Barbara’s entire purpose in the GA/BC saga is to show up at (both) The Wedding(s) of Doom and support Dinah’s wedding to Ollie.

Even her superhero contacts - the JSA and Batman - are all about Ollie and his son.

Doctor Mid-Nite: "Yes. But I will return again on Friday. And every week after. And I might add…Oliver seems focused."

Dinah: "That is the ideal description for him at the moment, yes."

DM: "His palor is quite…well…has Oliver left since you brought him back?"

Dinah: "He hasn’t left that room much since we got back. And he’s not going to venture out today…that’s for sure."

DM: "Why?"

Dinah: "It’s Connor’s birthday." *insert mandatory womanly SOB.*

Gee, shame Doctor Mid-Night couldn’t be bothered to ask how Dinah is holding up. You’d think, given their non-Ollie-related history, he’d care a lot more about Dinah’s emotional health than Ollie’s.

But everything’s about Ollie, so he can’t be bothered, I guess. So, in short, Ollie has a full and complicated life, and all Dinah has is Ollie.

Also, this shot annoys me:

I guess that’s supposed to be Dinah worn down and tired and trying to get more comfortable after a long day of worrying about Connor and Ollie. Which is a crap reasoning. Look, if a woman wants to relax, the way to do this is not to run around with her breasts flopping out of her top. That is actually much more painful than relaxing, especially when there are zippers involved. That is a tight top, and zippers cutting into soft breast-ly flesh hurts. This should not be a hard concept to understand. Hell, the underwire cutting into your flesh after a long day starts to hurt. Metal zippers certainly do. On the other hand, if she really wanted to relax, taking off the fishnets or the boots might have been the way to go. Or maybe pull all the hair back into a ponytail. But the gratuitous boob shot is not the way to go, and is frankly creepy when talking to Roy. Ew.

And it’s funny how Ollie doesn’t need to get naked in order to deal with his stress:

Ah. Buttoned up to the top, he is. And while I have zero need to ever see any Ollie flesh, nice discrepancy, there, DC. And by "nice" I really mean "thanks for proving the explanation for this blog’s existence once again."

But beyond the bad feminist issues, this storyline has increasingly bad characterization and faulty plotholes that make no sense. It’s not even enjoyable to read, and wouldn’t be, even if I could disregard Dinah-as-Ollie’s-sidekick.

Just a few of the "seriously, Judd Winick gets paid to write?" annoyances:

~ Okay. So we’ve been told that Connor is in a coma, that he’s brain dead, and that he has been mind wiped. Which is it? These three things are not the same. Pick one, Judd!

~ You just know this story, now that we’ve been told that Connor has been mind wiped, is now leading up to an amnesia plot. My groans at the contrivance, they cannot be held back.

~ So, Ollie decides he wants to start looking for his son shortly after Bruce has taken in Dick Grayson. The World’s Greatest Detective does not find the child until AFTER JASON TODD’S DEATH.

And honestly? That is the most hilarious thing ever. Somewhere, Ralph Dibny is laughing his ass off and going "I told you Batman’s detective skills were overrated."

If Ollie was that worried about finding his kid, after a week of Batman sucking, then why the hell didn’t he turn to his good traveling buddy who is a Green Lantern and say, "Hey! Think you can help me find my kid?"

~ The retcon of Ollie knowing about Connor has always been a problem because it makes him look like a jerk. But before this issue, you could shrug and either ignore it or say that Ollie simply wasn’t ready to be a dad.

But now? Ollie looks like even more of an ass than he did before. Because basically this issue tells us that he put minimal effort into finding Connor, and is generally too wrapped up in his own life to really care about his kid.

Mostly, due to all the evidence presented, I think Ollie is a much worse parent after reading this story than I did previously and all his "Oh, noes, I tried to find you, I loved you, really!" is merely guilt.

The fact that he is more concerned with marrying Dinah than staying with his brain dead/comatose/amnesiac son shows that he is a crap father.

I’d be fine with that being the result, but I honestly think Judd’s efforts were supposed to show us the opposite. Which..no, sorry.

~ What the hell is the matter with Dinah in this story? When someone is mourning the loss of their son, the correct response is NOT to ask them to marry you.

"I want to marry you. Oliver Queen. The man. The father."

Yeah, the man who cheats on you and the father who can't live up to his responsibilities. Good call, Dinah.

~ Why in the world isn’t Lian Harper at either wedding? Is Lian no longer a part of Dinah’s life? Oi.

~ Someone stole Connor’s body? WHY? And I don’t mean why as in "wow, this is a new and intriguing plot." I mean WHY as in "this is stupid."

~ "Dinah."
"Ollie?"
"Get me my own damn bow."

Ollie, Dinah is not your sidekick. Get your own damn bow.

And finally, my last complaint is the really bad art in this issue:

Who the hell are the men here? I am assuming one is Hal and one is Roy, because that is the only thing that makes any sense. But it certainly doesn’t look like Hal or Roy.

And why in the world is everyone smiling? Do they secretly hate Dinah and Ollie? That’s the only reason you would smile at this wedding.

Overall Score: 1 YAY out of 5 possible yays.
Doormat Score : 4 doormats out of 5 possible doormats.

Happy, happy day

2008-02-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

This news makes me very happy.

I have issues with Tony Bedard, in particular I don't think he gets who Dinah is (a hint: she isn't a stay at home Mommy and his handling of Dinah and Sin was a dark spot on an already pretty bad send off.) His job on the Black Canary mini was a travesty and made me want to smack Dinah until she grew a brain. To be fair, I'm not sure that's his fault. Sin was a dreadful repeat of a character (and done much better with Cassandra Cain ) whose whole purpose seemed to be to make Dinah look stupid, but she was not Bedard's doing. The decision to make Dinah lose her mind and marry a man who doesn't deserve her also wasn't his, and I'm not sure that anyone could have written that story in a way that made sense or rang true for the character when the act itself did not.

But other than Dinah, who I assume is going to stay off being Ollie's sidekick off in his book, I think Bedard does an excellent job with the rest of the team. He does a great job with Barbara in particular, allowing her to be a three dimensional kickass leader of the team while still allowing her to be fun and have a sense of humor.

In contrast, Sean McKeever's run doesn't get who anyone on the team is. More on that behind the cut:

His Barbara is a drill sergeant who secretly wants to be Frank Miller's Batman. She is both abusive and incompetent towards her team, and the rich history of her leadership and characterization is ignored.

And happily, Sean McKeever is going bye, bye.

That in and of itself is an excellent thing, but Tony Bedard's analysis of the Birds is even better:

"There's several things about Birds of Prey that make it attractive. For starters, I enjoy writing female characters. I don't particularly dwell on their gender, I just try to make them smart and capable, but I think with these characters you can express a range of emotion that is very satisfying. Also, these characters are such a great mix. Birds of Prey could easily have become the book where random, unused heroines are lumped together, but a great balance was achieved between Oracle, Huntress and Black Canary that made BoP greater than the sum of its parts. In particular, Barbara Gordon emerged as one the single best characters in comics, period. She works so much better as Oracle than she ever did as Batgirl (no offense, Batgirl, fans). She took her greatest tragedy and used it to discover her greatest strength. That really speaks to me. "

Me too. Which is why I will never understand people that want to see Barbara back in the Batgirl costume. Barbara as Oracle is strong, capable, independent, and has more power and influence than she ever dreamed of having as Batgirl. Why people want to take all those things away from her and put her back in spandex to be a glorified Robin I don't understand.

"And she's trying to get other characters to grow beyond their limitations, especially when those limits aren't as obvious. Dinah, Helena and the others are better people for having worked with Babs."

This is true because she is a good leader, something McKeever has missed completely.

I was worried I was going to have to give up Birds, because I can't stand the changes McKeever has made to he team. But this news fills me with hope. Only a few more badly written and incorrectly characterized issues to go before I can have the team back to what they should be.

I'll still miss Dinah, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

By far my favorite part of Countdown

2008-02-05T04:42:00.000-08:00

In re-reading Countdown, I stumbled across something I hadn't actually paid attention to before:

There is at least one universe among which Slade Wilson was not the text book definition of a Mary Sue. In this world - this utopia (albeit one built upon the loss of Batman's sanity) - Slade, who both Brad Meltzer and Judd Winick seem to believe can best the entire Justice League (and the latter the combined forces of the JSA, JLA, and two generations of Titans because Judd Winick doesn't have any sense) and who was at one time shown to pretty much unkillable was defeated and killed by Batman alone.

It couldn't have happened to a better serial killing rapist, really.

The Good, The Bad, and the WTF

2008-02-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

Best Comic I Read This Week: Captain America 34

This comic was simply wonderful to read from cover to cover. Yes, I still miss Steve and will until they bring him back, but there is simply no better person to take over for him than Bucky, and this comic showed that perfectly. I've read a lot of criticism about it over the past week, and while I acknowledge anyone's right to complain about something that makes them unhappy, most of the criticism I've read has been superficial at best and completely ignorant of established characterization at worst. I know people will read what they want to in a story - and there are flaws to this one - but most of the objections simply don't ring true for me.

First, there's a matter of this being a "darker" book, drawn in black, which is somehow supposed to represent a loss of hope for what America stands for. Right. So I'm assuming that the people who read this have never read any of Brubaker's run. The entire thing has been mirrored in black and grey, and has grown progressively "darker" in lighting as the Civil War climate wore on. The Civil War and post-Civil War climate is undoubtedly a political analogy (and a anvil-heavy one at that) and a depressing one. Yet a simple leaf through of the comic - which wouldn't even require you to read the words on the page - would reveal that the through the darkness, the only colors that visibly shine on the pages, that leap out from all the black are the red, white, and blue of Bucky's costume.

Exhibit A:

That's not "losing hope" in America or what America might stand for. That's pretty much directly from the National Anthem.

I can't do anything more than shake my head at the "HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A GUN" argument. Cap and Bucky have always been soldiers. Always.

Secondly, apparently lots of people wanted Eli Bradley to be the next Captain America. While I love the Young Avengers, put simply? None of them know what the hell they're doing. Oh, they're trying, they really, really are, and I love them for it. But none of them are ready to be grown up Avengers at this point.

Also, Eli is having trouble living up to his own legacy at this point, and coming to terms with what his legacy even is. If he were to get shoved into this story, then you can bet it would bye bye to that plot entirely, and why, why, why would you want to do that? Because if it was Eli in Bucky's shoes it wouldn't be his grandfather that Eli was worried about - it would be about Steve Rogers. Making it about anyone else would take away the importance of the death of the character, and that's simply not something Marvel would allow to happen in the man's own title.

I want to see Eli continue to come to terms with his legacy and what it means - including Steve Rogers' role in it. But I want to see him do it as Patriot, not as Captain America.

Bucky's story, on the other hand, can be entirely about Steve Rogers - and it is, which is what makes it a compelling and emotional read in the first place. Bucky's story has always been about Captain America, even when his story was the most depressing. Even the worst actions he took as a brain-washed assassin were about Steve, in a roundabout way. He has no life, no meaning, no real purpose that isn't defined by Steve Rogers, and so it makes perfect sense that he puts on the costume out of Steve's memory:

In a lot of ways, this story proves why Dick Grayson is the last person who should ever pick up the mantle of being Batman - ever. (As an aside, I should note that I don't think anyone should pick up the mantle of Batman. Batman's whole purpose was to make sure that no one would ever succumb to the same fate as him and making Batman into a legacy in the same manner as Flash, Supers, or Wonders ruins that.)

This story works because it is a story of a former sidekick who looked up to and adored his mentor more than anyone taking over for that man after his death. It also works because Bucky has no life that he has to sacrifice to become Captain America. Dick Grayson on the other hand, hasn't been Robin in a hell of a long time. He has a life and a career all his own as Nightwing. To become Batman would require him to say, "Living in my mentor's shadow is more important than living my own life." Within the Steve and Bucky story, that is shown as a powerful life-changing experience for the positive because Bucky is coming out of a period of self doubt in which he was a crazy assassin for the enemy. Leaving that life behind and picking up the mantel of Captain America is very much a good thing because Bucky has a life you want to leave behind.

Becoming Captain America for Bucky is a new start, and a hopeful one at that.

On the other hand, for Dick? Giving up Nightwing to step into the boots of Batman - giving up his life and identity beyond a desire to live up to the ideals of his father figure is very sad. It's a Peter Pan complex in the saddest sense - in that nothing Dick does beyond Batman is good enough or important enough to matter.

Never mind that Dick's said repeatedly that becoming Batman is the last thing he wants. Erasing his history and life so he can become Batman 2.0 is never something I want to see for Dick Grayson. Death would be a better fate.

Finally, I enjoyed this story because Brubaker writes a good Black Widow, much better than he does with Sharon Carter in this title. It's an odd and interesting thing - I think Brubaker does better with "shades of grey" female characters than he does with "good" female characters, as proved with Catwoman and Black Widow on one hand and Sharon and Milla on the other. What gives, Brubaker? "Good" girls can be fun, too!

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Worst Comic I Read This Week: Daredevil 104

Oh, Matt, I like you better when you are obsessive about your city. Batman you are not, and should not be, but this entire Milla plot is dreadful. It makes me want to slap the hero of the book repeatedly. Honey, I know you love your wife but there's a bigger picture and the way you're acting, I'm not sure you realize that.

The portrayal of women in this book is just dreadful. They're all weak and clingy and need Matt, which they tell us repeatedly when they aren't sobbing.

And when they aren't randomly being forced to maim people against their will.

Basically, the same problems I have with the stupidity of the Faustus and Sharon plot, I have with the Milla nonsense, which shouldn't surprise, since it's the same damn plot all over again.

This story basically frustrates me. I want to feel sorry for Matt, but honestly, more than pity I have a whole lot of "ugh" and desire to shake him and Milla a lot.

Overall Score: 2.5/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Most Pleasant Surprise This Week: Countdown 13

Hey! Donna and Kyle were good teammates and behaved like heroes! Kyle wasn't an ass!

It's about time.

I suppose there are people who will rant about how Jason killing the Joker is proof that he is EVIL! And his family needs to put a stop to him, and those people are nuts. Killer the Joker is no more evil than squashing a mosquito.

I am in all truthfulness giddy at the characterization in this story. It was perfect.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Most Confusing Waste of My Time This Week: Captain America: Chosen 6/6

So, the life lesson to be learned is this:

Inside each of us, we have the ability to be courageous and brave. We can't be Captain America, but we can ... Be All We Can Be?

And it took six issues to tell us this why?

Not only was this story pretty much plotless (Steve is dying and seeks out a bunch of people to lecture about courage and responsibility and loyalty ) but it also makes Steve look pretty pathetic. If he isn't whining about how afraid he is, he's whining about how his life's been full of loss and death and tragedy and how it's just too hard to go on.

Yeah, Steve. That's courage, right there.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Comics This Week

2008-01-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

The best thing I read this week: Wonder Woman 16

The art in this book? Continues to be gorgeous. That could not make me love it alone, but I do appreciate beautiful art accompanying a beautiful story.

And oh, what a beautiful story it was! Diana was Wonder Woman here. She was confident, wise, and powerful without any apology or weakness. She was everything here that she should be, while still showing the love and compassion that makes her Diana, and not some random warrior ~~princess~~ chick.

Her words about her faith pretty much sum up this issue:

"And so it is, among the blood and tears, that I practice my faith.

To those above, from those below. I ask that my enemy surrender, or failing that, that he fall in battle, without further bloodshed and grieving from his loved ones.

I ask that you protect my allies, whose only folly is valuing my life above their own.

Do them no harm, I ask, with everything my heart is or ever will be.

But grant us victory, this above all."

That speech, combined with the panel of Diana cradling Hippolyta's head, together show everything about the woman that she has always represented to me, both in strength and compassion, and it is a wonderful thing indeed.

I have this friend, who is a comic fan, and whose first introduction to Diana was through current version of the Teen Titans (yeah, where all the adults were big bad meanies that make Captain Hook look sensible in comparison. Really, Diana is not a hypocritical man-hater. She's worked side by side with men for years now, Geoff Johns, have some sense, please?) and has since disliked Wonder Woman strongly. I've been wanting to try to change that opinion, but with recent canon - Amazon Wars, bad writers, etc. - I've never really seen the point. I could give her great backstory to the character, and awesome past issues, but as soon as she got to the present, she'd have an even worse opinion. Because no, my friend isn't really a fan of hysterical crying doormats, either.

But this issue? For the first time, I had the inclination to send some issues her way. It might not work, but I can see, after the past two issues, that there is some point in trying.

And that's a new and beautiful thing. It's the way I should feel about Wonder Woman. Hopeful.

And hey! Simone gets that, too.

"A golden eagle, hovering above. Does he wait for us to die?"

"She, Tolifhar. I believe it's a she. And I think she wants us to live."

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: Hahahahaha. There are no doormats here.

The worst thing I read this week: Teen Titans 55

I love Tim Drake. But I wanted to smack him all throughout this issue. Or beat him with a crowbar, your choice.

Regardless of the weapon of choice, I wanted to harm him until he told us where the ~~Non-Skrull~~ real Tim Drake was, and why a pod person had taken his place.

Not only were his "dating" attempts creepy as hell, Blue Beetle isn't "Titan material"? You're right, Tim, he isn't. Because Blue Beetle is sane, and to quote him from his own book, the Titans can be summed up thusly:

"No, this is about the point when Ravager tries to stab somebody and Robin starts that grind-y thing with is teeth. You're way cooler."

Basically this is a miserable team with miserable people who treat each other miserably. They honest to god make me look forward to Judd Winick's Titan team, and when a book is making me look forward to anything written by Judd Winick, all hope is lost for that book.

I will give it props for letting Cassie finally have a purpose and realizing that it's okay not to have a boyfriend. No, really. Even as a teenager. Good job, Cassie! Now please have a purpose in this book (for the first time in 55 issues ) other than which team member you are going to date.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 1.5/5 I could have done without the water works, Cassie.

Most Unexpected Surprise This Week: Young Avengers Presents #1: Patriot.

I love Young Avengers, and despite some displeasure I have with some of his portrayals recently, I love Ed Brubaker's writing. But I wasn't expecting a whole lot when I opened this comic. For a lot of reasons, but mostly because because I wasn't sure Brubaker's writing style would fit well with the Young Avengers.

I was delighted to see how wrong I was. He nailed Patriot's character, gave a beautifully sympathetic Bucky, and let Kate be the kind of spunky, independent kick-ass chick that I wish was in the Teen Titans.

There was nothing not to love about this book.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Most "I am slowly beginning to lose the ability to feel badly that all the people Kyle loves are dead" worthy moment:

So. Either I interpret that as "I don't care about my teammate," or "I don't trust the AMAZON to take care of herself." Either way? Pretty crappy, Kyle. I'm totally Team Hal this week.

Last week's comics

2008-01-21T14:43:00.000-08:00

Amazing Spider-Man 547

Honestly, as I was trying to think of something to say, it occurred to me that this comic, sadly, is one of the ones that just aren't memorable. Oh, sure, sure. The overall storyline is because it finally got rid of the "dreadful" marriage, but the actually plot? A whole lot of blah.

True, I don't know whether it's the storyline that's blah or my own lack of sympathy towards it, but all I do know is that nothing really stuck between Wednesday and today. Nothing that I cared about one way or the other.

The positives: Aunt May knows her boy is a pathetic waste in this new reality.

The negatives: So between relieving Peter of his burden of Mary Jane and the EVIL BITCH WIFE THAT WANTS TO TAKE AWAY POOR JJJ'S NEWSPAPER, the overall lesson to be learned here is that wives are evil demonic creatures, right?

Overall Score: Save your money and spend it on Spider-Girl instead.
Doormat Score: 3.5/5

Countdown 15

Poor Donna. You were so awesome once. Maybe Marv can be persuaded to come fix you, in your lamely titled "Donna Troy" series, if it ever occurs. Because you rather desperately need it. This title hasn't done you any favors at all. The fact that the only time you show any discernible spine or skill is to call your lamer self a bitch pretty much proves my point. You do get points for remembering some of your Amazon training, though!

Jason, I root for you, too. I know that next week, and in the following weeks, you're going to get bombarded with the hatred of many foolish people who add the "he stole Red Robin from Dick!" to the equally foolish "he stole Robin from Dick!" and factually inaccurate and hilarious cries of "he stole Nightwing from Dick!" But you were good this week, hon.

Kyle...I am almost convinced that Countdown's entire purpose is to make Geoff Johns look right on the subject of Kyle. I know after this issue I'm glad Kyle's not the one back home watching Earth!

"So that's that. This world is already lost, it's only a matter of time."

Nice, Kyle. But sure, now that the world's lost, take time out to have exposition with Ray. Who, I'm glad, finally stopped whining long enough to remember what it's like to be a hero.

To give credit where credit is due, I enjoyed the Mary Marvel bonding with Hippolyta, Holly, and Harley. It's the first time in a long time that the Stupidity of Amazons Attack has had likability.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Flash 236

Honestly, the best part of this was the end, where they finally remembered that Bart was a Flash.

Iris and He Who Should Be Named Barry are cute and likable, and if they were to join the Titans, I would not be opposed. Especially if we could bump off a few of the less savory members who are currently on the team.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Angel: After the Fall 3

Okay, so it's not a harem. Spike's training the random naked girls. I take back some of my irritation from the last issue. But you know what? Not all of it. They could still put on some goddamn clothes.

Honestly, I'm trying to care about Angel and Wesley, but I'm more impressed by Spike and Connor's exploits. I'm glad they're doing something useful, since all Angel can do in this series is whine about the hell that he landed them in.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 3/5

Justice League of America 17

I'm vaguely amused by Roy wanting to take care of the Gargoyle. But there's a nasty little suspicious cloud that surrounds the whole story. It's one that says, "Hey, I've read this Government Conspiracy plot before." And while I love a good "the government is evil," plot as well as the next person, it's only been a few issues and I'm already sick of Amanda Waller.

I'm glad Kendra hasn't gone back to the Creepy Stalker Bastard yet. Her current backbone is a nice counterpoint to Dinah's complete and utter lack of one.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Robin 170

Wow. Chuck Dixon really does think everyone should never move up and beyond their high school girlfriend. That's very sad. I mean I suspected it with the Babs/Dick nonsense, but the way that he made Tim's entire mental breakdown over Stephanie alone (as opposed to Stephanie, Kon, Bart, and the boy's parents), I'm convinced of it now. Yeah, Steph's part of it - a big part. But she's not the only reason the boy's been breaking down, Chucky.

And "we don't look back?" Are you kidding me? Looking back is all Batman does. The man's whole reason for fighting crime is that he looks back all the time.

It's an okay start. It's better than him fussing over Batman not letting him play tennis, I suppose.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Amazing Spider-Girl 16

Joy. This comic is always a joy to read and this month was no exception. They're doing the "woe is me, I have boyfriend issues" in a way that makes me have sympathy for the female lead, instead of wanting to smack her (as I do with Cassie Sandsmark all the time.)

The assassin sent to kill Mayday was fun too - she's very much into it for the perks of the job. She is, in short, everything Deathstroke actually is, as opposed to what people think he is. Vicious, cold, and wanting to get paid for the serial kills she performs. Awesome, all around.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: Ha! Like that's ever been a concern for this book.

Birds of Prey 114

Wait...what?

So, to recap, Barbara is the female version of Frank Miller's Batman. She probably is going to start making Misfit eat rats next.

And again with the nonsensical training. Barbara has how many people at her disposal and she can't get someone who is a hand to hand fighter to train Misfit?

She is really, really desperate for any help and info she can get, and yet, her main two operatives are free to go out and drink themselves into an alcoholic stupor. Right, guess she doesn't need them.

And Babs seems to think hiring Black Alice is a good thing because...?

Oh, yes. Nice gratuitous let's have a Bird dance around in her underwear shot.

Look, I know a writer has a lot to live up to in the post-Simone Birds. Guy has my sympathy. But you know a good way to make a good first impression? By being respectful to the characters and pretending to like them. There's no affection here for anyone. In fact, it feels more like utter disdain.

Barbara is well beyond having to prove herself. She - and the audience - know this. It's unfortunate the writer of the book does not.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Catwoman 75

So, Selina would rather align herself with Luthor than with the always honorable Flash Rogues?

Oh, Selina, you make Geoff Johns cry.

I'd like to talk about the plot, but since it was mostly Selina wandering around aimlessly on the prison planet, I really can't.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 2/5

A lesson in pictures - Supergirl

2008-01-15T18:21:00.000-08:00

I feel almost bad for making fun of Ed Benes. It's such a cheap shot - kind of like pointing out the flaws in Frank Miller's writing. Everyone already know it's bad, so why bother?

Because it's fun.

Here we have Ed Benes' Supergirls, through the ages. Pay especial attention to 70's Supergirl, with her rad sweater and the boobs that have suddenly developed a boob window comparable to Power Girl's. We'll ignore the ridiculous Pamela Anderson inflation or the fact that all his Supergirls look like bored strippers waiting for their chance to go on stage. We'll even ignore that none of their faces were given nearly the detail that 70s SG's cleavage was. Just pay attention to the boob window.

And now let's look at two examples of that same ridiculous costume drawn still sexily, but less like and advertisement for a really bad porn movie.

Oh, look. Decent proportions (as far as comics go), and no ridiculous boob window. Imagine that.

Of course, I expect very little from a man who still thinks pinups are legitimate art forms, but still.

Brand New Day

2008-01-13T00:51:00.000-08:00

Because clearly, it deserves its own post.

I'm not opposed to One More Day or Brand New Day on principle. Nor will I pretend to have any grand feminist reason to dislike them in principle. People pretend to have them for keeping both Lois and Clark and Steve and Diana together (because Diana can't be wonderful if she isn't with a weak man, or so the reasoning goes), and all I can do is roll my eyes at both those reasonings.

So I could have liked this story. I like Mary Jane and Peter, and I love their marriage, but at least they weren't killing her off. She wasn't getting the refrigerator treatment, so I could have liked this story. Had it been done well, I would have.

It wasn't done well. It's still not being done well.

My problems with the storyline, in no particular order:

1.) So. The Scarlet Witch tries to alter reality to fit her very selfish purpose (to save her babies!) and she's EVIL incarnate. Peter does the same for an equally selfish purpose (to save his aunt) and Quesada wants us to believe that he's making some great sacrifice? Not really a fan of the hypocrisy.

2.) I like and am intrigued by Jackpot, but you know what? The reason I liked MJ was because she was spunky and fun and *normal.* She's one of a few "girlfriend" characters that I really liked. Making her a hero takes away from that.

3.) No, Peter. A girl kissing you does not make her a candidate for Girls Gone Wild. Especially not when she's wearing comparatively conservative clothing. Considering the rape and sexual assault charges that are associated with GGW, I'm not sure I like anyone who would joke about them. Particularly someone who is a hero. Or is supposed to be one.

4.) BND Peter is a selfish, entitled, whiny little snot. Look, Peter's always whined about his rotten luck. That's fine. But BND Peter is portrayed in a way that makes me think he's chucked that whole responsibility thing right out the window.

5.) He's how old and living at home with his aunt? Are you serious?

6.) So, we are going for relateable, right? That's the goal? Yet, having Peter being able to bring down an entire newspaper by withholding his photographs is somehow relateable? Right.

7.) I don't care at all for the way that the "good girls" are the ones who cover up and don't know how to have fun and the ones who - god forbid - appear to like sex and having fun are EVIL SKANKS. Please leave your Madonna/Whore complex in the last century where it belongs.

8.) Please. The gangster would have shot Aunt May. In fact, that's exactly what Peter deserved to have happen for making the deal in the first place.

In short, I don't like Peter in this world. I don't give a damn about Harry , I don't care that Aunt May is alive, and I'm glad that MJ is a hero and a better one than Peter.

Comics Reviews

2008-01-13T00:06:00.000-08:00

Things That Were Awesome

Nightwing 140

So, after Marv left NW, I was worried. Because this title first had Chuck "how depressing, self-centered, and Bat-like can we make Dick" Dixon and then Devin "let's write Dick as completely incompetent and playing with serial killing rapists" Grayson and then Bruce "my Dick is a racist and sexist one" Jones. Marv rescued Dick from all three of those people and made him sane again (and no, not having man rape does not make a title dull.) And when he left, I was worried that Dick would once again fall into the clutches of someone who doesn't *get* him.

I've been pleasantly surprised! Both follow up writers have been awesome, and have made Dick a very good man and brother, without giving him the Chuck Dixon disease of forgetting who he is in order to be a Bat. He's allowed to be Nightwing, and not "OH, MY LIFE ENDED WHEN I STOPPED BEING ROBIN BECAUSE BRUCE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE AND LET ME SHOW YOU HOW CRAZY I AM WITH MY PSEUDO-INCESTUOUS, COMPLETELY OEDIPAL OBSESSION WITH BATGIRL."

It's awesome.

General thoughts:

~ Why must all Bats have deep, dark, cave-like bases of operations? It's a little unnecessary.

~ Oi. Being a curator at a museum isn't like flipping burgers or writing comics. You have to be trained in procedures. I weep for all history that is going to be lost because Dick doesn't have a clue what he's doing. The boy wouldn't understand the purpose of acid-free paper if it came up and bit him on the nose. Also - why did he need a new job and new base of operations? The job he had - working with kids - was fine and much more in character than "let me sulk around the museum in the dark."

~ Tim and Dick's heart to hearts are sweet and make me love them both more.

~ No, Talia. No one would ever confuse you with Selina Kyle. Selina Kyle is awesome, doesn't have an Electra complex, and produces cool sprogs. The same cannot be said about you.

~ Dick sky-diving to the Manor was one of the best things ever. Very him. And oh, Alfred. Yes, once a flying Grayson, always a flying Grayson.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

52 Aftermath: Four Horsemen

Well, the overall plot of the Trinity fighting the monsters was silly. But I'm a sucker for three-dimensional characterization above and beyond everything else, and this had that in spades. I love the Clark and Bruce it gave, and the strength of their friendship with each other and their friendship with Diana. These people are friends..and it makes Infinite Crisis look even more stupid, which is always a good thing. Hard to do, since it was pretty spectacularly bad by itself, but still a good thing.

People have been complaining about Snapper Carr...but look. This is no different from the man he was in Young Justice. If you're willing to let a kid die to "teach them an important lesson," you're willing to be a snitchy little traitor. I'm unimpressed with the Snapper Carr angst. So he's evil. Maybe we can kill him next instead of a character I actually care about? I figure DC owes me that much.

Overall, this was fun. It was fun because Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman got to hang out and be friends while they fight monsters. And I'm okay with that.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Things That Were Blah:

Countdown 16

Oi. Sincerely, what the hell is the matter with this Donna? She worked alongside Nightwing. She isn't going to place a non-powered Bat on a roof and be all, "Hey, stay here and be useless." And it's Donna Troy. She's supposed to be warm and good - she was the heart of the Teen Titans (yes, she's also been pretty selfish and petty towards both Kyle and Roy over the years, but as originally depicted in her adult self, she was kind, strong, and good - something she hasn't been throughout this entire title.) Which is why, you know, they all fell apart after she died.

I despise this Donna Troy, and I hate to say it, but I am looking forward to Judd Winick writing her. He at least got the basics of her personality down. And when a writer makes me look forward to Judd Winick, something is wrong.

Basically, Paul Dini doesn't like Jason Todd. That's obvious in this series. And guess what? I don't care. Because Donna Troy isn't Paul Dini. They have a history together, and Donna has a previously established characterization. It would be good to keep those things in mind. Also, making all your female characters (Donna, Mary Marvel, Amazons) into cold hearted bitches is a cliche, and a bad one. We aren't all evil, we don't hate you,and our vaginas really don't have teeth.

As for the rest, blah blah, Monitors blah, war blah, impending doom, blah blah, ...Holy Crap. Poor Jason. I am amused that in "paradise" Batman is completely nuts, but oh, poor Jason.

Overall Score: 2.5/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Wonder Girl 5

That wasn't the Teen Titans. That was Robin, Wonder Girl, Supergirl, and the part of Young Justice that couldn't cut being superheroes. And when a writer tries to sell me those people as "The Teen Titans," all I can do is laugh.

Give me Mia and Rose, any day. They at least aren't quitters.

Yes, I know, everyone's all nostalgic over Young Justice being here. But I need more to a comic than nostalgia. And nothing happened. Oh, there was fighting, and general mindless stupidity of the Stupid Amazon Plot That Won't Die. But mostly it was a yawn fest.

Overall Score: 2.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Things That Were Bad:

Teen Titans Lost Annual

Oi. I want to like it and be amused by the Titans being cute.

But dear Lord. Donna was kind here, but she had no backbone. She was willing to MARRY the first alien man she bumped into (ah, explains Terry Long!) and only didn't give up her entire life and identity because he had three other wives. And then she sobbed in Robin's arms.

Goodness. I hope she went home and Wonder Woman spanked her soundly for being a complete and utter disgrace to the legacy. Oi.

Speedy and Robin were cute. That's about it.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Superman 672

*sighs.*

Look, quote the Silver Age (or Superdickery) all you want. But I am sick of a universe where Lana never got over Clark and Lois' entire purpose in life is to be a mommy.

Lois Lane is a kick ass reporter. It's possible that she can do this and also be a mom. Those might be interesting stories. But the comics are not telling those stories.

I don't want to read stories about her skipping work to stay home with a kid because it has a fever. Bah. Clark wanted to adopt the brat. Make him stay home with it. And if he can't, then maybe they shouldn't have a kid! Oh, except he can't, because he's off being an incompetent hero in space.

Basically? Everything Joey Q says to justify One More Day actually applies to Lois and Clark when it never did to MJ and Peter. Maybe he can come take over DC and fix them too. At least then, Lois might get her spine, life, and purpose back. And Clark might be competent again.

To better explain my irritation, this is a quote Lois said, back in the pre-Chris years when she was still a reporter and awesome:

"So, like I was saying, I found one of those horrible letters teenagers write to their grown-up selves. 'Dear Lois,' it said. 'By now you're probably married with two kids to some stupid guy and you've probably forgotten that you ever wanted to write and have an exciting life like Collette or Dorothy Parker...' You know what? I wanted to write back and tell this girl about my day. 'Dear Lois, wrong kiddo! I've won a Pulitzer. I'm married to Clark Kent, who happens to be Superman, and all three of us have been invited to the moon for dinner. How far out of the atmosphere did Dorothy Parker get?'"

And I want to write back.

Dear Teenage Lois,

Wrong, kiddo! You only have one kid you threw away your life for. Not two.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Green Arrow/Black Canary 4

First of all, if you're honestly complaining because Ollie had a brain for once and shouted for Clark when his son was dying, you're a moron. If you don't want to read stories where Superman shows up and is a hero, go read Marvel. And in case you didn't notice, Superman showing up didn't save anyone. So, it really can't count as a magical plot device when it doesn't work.

Secondly, I'm glad Ollie and Dinah are in pain. They deserve it for being dumb enough to get married to each other in the first place when it's damn well never worked out before.

Thirdly, can Dinah please have a purpose other than being Ollie's sidekick? Her entire role has been to tell Ollie how great he is, and how right every bad decision he's ever made has ever been. It's nauseating.

Ollie grieves well. Too bad I laughed at his pain. Sorry, Connor. Miss you, but I know you have to be relieved to get out of that family.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

And yet, I don't believe you

2008-01-11T16:17:00.000-08:00

According to this interview, Geoff Johns felt compelled to open up and share this with the world:

"Since we’re going back years, a sidebar for a lot of you Spoilers fans – early on when I started talking with Dan about Flash, I remember him bemoaning the fact that they were planning on “killing” Spoiler, one of his, yes, favorite characters. Dan had just started and wasn’t the E-I-C yet and had no control over the Bat universe. He still misses Spoiler."

Yes. He misses Spoiler so much that:

a.) He has refused for years to give the woman the case she deserves in the Batcave.
b.) He has stated that she doesn't deserve to have a case because she was a naughty little girl who pushed her way into ~~the Boy's Treehouse~~ being Robin and "never really was" Robin.
c.) He seems to have no real understanding of why "Spoilers fans" are annoyed by these two things.

Oh, yeah. I'm rolling in love the man has for Spoiler. It just radiates from everything the man has ever said in regards to the character. No, really.

Also, dear Geoff Johns, just a note? In regards to the rest of your comments:

NRAMA: OK, let's talk about something that’s been a little hinted at by you before, Geoff. When you and I had talked – I think it was in the interview you did with Brad Meltzer at the end of the Lightning Saga – you specifically pointed out that the Rogues don't do drugs: "Cold's #2 rule," you said, because they had just appeared in another comic doing drugs and partying.

GJ: Well, Cold's #2 rule is Rogues don't do drugs. The Rogues don't just sit around and drink beer and snort coke.

A person who completely rewrote and disregarded previously established characteristics of the Teen Titans (as they had been portrayed in Young Justice) and who made Barry Allen out to be an amoral incompetent does not have a solitary right to complain about The Rogues' alcohol and cocaine-consuming ways.

Well, you can. But it makes you look stupid.

This Really Explains A Lot

2008-01-07T14:20:00.001-08:00

"Their" women? Yes, because women as property is acceptable. Oh, except for how it's really not. No, really not. Not even as a joke. Especially a not funny one.

It does, however, explain in part why Selina's taken such a pathetic turn. And here I thought the worst DC editors did was get paid to sleep on the job.

Comics Reviews

2008-01-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

Teen Titans Year One

I have nothing but love for this comic. Okay, I have one negative comment, but other than that? Sheer, utter love. It's just wonderful and gorgeous and cute.Being coherent about its wonderfulness is actually hard, but I shall try.

I had serious reservations about this one, honestly. Mostly because I was afraid they'd screw it up. There are maybe two people in the comics industry who are capable of writing Dick Grayson as the decent, wonderful human being that he should be. Everyone else? Likes to play a little game of "how much of a messed up asshole can we possibly make Dick Grayson?" And at the very base level, that's what I was afraid of when I picked up this comic.

That seems like a silly fear now. Honestly, Dick is written just about perfectly. He's happy and childish but a good hero and a decent detective. He's happy and while he isn't busting out the puns every minute, he is able to laugh when the pizza delivery guy says that bat suits and cat suits look the same in the dark. He has warm, caring, and sane relationships with his non-Bat friends. There's no insane, inexplicable Batgirl devotion, as Dick has a life - and a happy one at that - outside of the Manor.

He obviously loves and adores Batman, as any good sidekick should their mentor, but knows him well enough, and has enough spine and innate goodness to step up and say something when Batman does something wrong. This isn't a Dick Grayson who mindlessly worships the Bat (thank god. I had enough of that courtesy of Chuck Dixon and Devin Grayson.) This is a young man who is a hero in his own right, who will go on to lead the Titans and be damn good at it, and who has obvious loyalty to Batman (so clear here in the final panel he is in), but never blind, mindless devotion. Which is fortunate, given the larger plot at work here.

It's kind of wonderful.

Speaking of Batman, considering what's going on with the evil grownups plot, I love that the Batman here is a big middle finger to any and all Miller-influenced versions of Batman. Especially Miller's version itself. Because never was a more overrated creature than Miller Batman, and the fact that there's a slightly mocking, "only under the outside influence would Batman be such an asshole, especially to Robin" tone to the whole story makes me love it even more fiercely than the awesome Dick Grayson it gave.

Garth was cute too. I suppose someone will probably complain that he shouldn't be a fraidy cat, but I am nothing but amused at a Titan who is afraid of a blowfish.

I even liked Wally, something Mark Waid is trying hard to make me not do in the Flash series. This Wally is a good friend, a funny guy, and just lovable. It hurts to see him with shades of Impulse, knowing what is to come later in his life, but on the other hand, it's also completely and utterly true. This Wally is more of a JLU inspired Wally than the one that has ever been in the comics-verse, but I love JLU-Wally far more than canon Wally, so that counts as a positive to me.

The art is wonderful and fits the tone so very much.

My negatives:

~ Donna saying "I love you" to the first boy she meets? Oi, DC. Why must all your Wonder Girls not have any sense where men are concerned? And no, I don't care that she's new to the "Big City" or to men in general. It still annoys me and makes me worry that Donna is going to continue the loathsome trend she had in the original Titan run of "let's be everyone's girlfriend." Still, this negative is someone pacified by the fact that Donna is wandering around the Big City looking for her Big Sister and not at all as scared at that prospect as Garth is of a blowfish.

~ Wally West, if you call the Flash a "drag" one more time, I will find a way to enter this comic book and smack you senseless.

Overall? This is a wonderful comic. I just love everyone here. God, I even love the crazy little green fish and his bad puns. I want the next issue in my hands now.

This should be read by everyone on the planet. Seriously.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 1/5

Detective Comics 840

Admittedly, I rolled my eyes when I saw this was the unnecessary epilogue to the also unnecessary arc of "The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul." Seven parts of that ridiculous story arc of wasn't enough? We needed one more? Why?

Still, despite being part of one of the more insane Batman stories ever, this one wasn't so bad. Batman was back to acting like Batman, there was no Damian around to be all the wort parts of Jason Todd without any of the good, and there was a true sense that Batman actually wanted to help people. Instead of you know, chasing a bunch of crazy people he has no real attachment to around the globe.

I am, admittedly, a little confused by Batman's morality. It's okay to lock someone up in Arkham without due process, keep them drugged up against their will, allow and encourage the fellow prisons to "break them in," yet Jason is evil? Never mind Jason. What Zatanna and the League did to Dr. Light is evil, yet Bruce's actions here are somehow acceptable?

Insane Troll Logic.

This, however, is fun: "We wind up slugging it out in front of a thousand henchmen and a girl whose family issues easily dwarf my own." Oh, Bruce. I'm glad you know that your family issues are messed up. In fact, Batman's internal thinking was fun all around - I hope it's an indication of what's to come in at least Detective now that the arc of evil is over.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #10

So, the conclusion that I've come to after reading season eight thus far is that, somehow, women who have an active sex life are evil skanks who deserve to be punished. I mean, between Dawn's "shameful" transgression, and Willow's embrace with the Sea Witch From the Little Mermaid, that's kind of the nasty taste I'm left feeling in my mouth.

Let's compare, shall we? Buffy? Since this series started, she has been nothing but chaste, except in her dreams. Willow and Kennedy? Cuddles on the couch, but not so much as a hint of lust/desire between them. Oh, they might love each other, but god forbid the two women do something nasty like have sex.

Yeah, it's kind of continuing a theme from the show. But it's one of the less attractive parts of the show, and if we're going to continue it, at least show us Xander deserving to be punished for his wants, too.

That being said, I did really like Buffy here! It's the first time in season eight she's felt like what the character should be at this point in her life. She's grown up, but not too much. She has worries yet is still Buffy-like enough that she isn't working herself into a Batman-sized brood fest.

I also love the strength of Willow and Buffy's friendship here, and the little cracks and tears around the edges that you can sense. The overall plot with Twilight is also intriguing, and I look forward to seeing that fleshed out more.

It's a mixed bag, but the final verdict is that I liked it, despite it's flaws. Mostly because it gave me a strong, fun Buffy Summers, which is what drew me into the television series to begin with.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 2.5/5

Supergirl 25

I am really, really loving this Kara. She's fresh and new, and doesn't know everything (as is to be expected considering the circumstances) and she's confused a lot, but she's trying to be a good superhero, and trying to live up to both Kryptonian and Superman's Earthy expectations. She's a very easy to like character, and when she makes a mistake, I feel badly for her, and hope she does better next time. She's struggling here, with the full weight of her memories regained, and that kind of struggle (as opposed to lusting after crazy evil versions of her cousin, "standing up" to Superman, trying to take down every superhero she comes across, etc.) is a joy to read about.

I would love, love, love if Kelley Puckett would take a swing at writing Cassie Sandsmark, or even the Titans as a whole. Puckett does a great job of making the characters young, while still allowing them to be decent and good, something current Teen Titans and Wonder Girl have lacked in their characterizations for a while now.

I like Puckett's storytelling style. Puckett allows action to tell a lot of the story, and uses dialogue and exposition sparsely and only when needed. Combined with the gorgeous art, it works really well. Someone should smack Judd Winick over the head with this issue a couple times until he promises to attempt that style. Or at least until he has a bad case of paper cuts.

I also love Clark's relationship with her - he's trying to be a good friend and mentor and I applaud him for that. Puckett seems to grasp that you can't really write story's about Supergirl without figuring in Superman somehow, and there's a definite sense of legacy and connection between them that feels very right.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Countdown 17

First, the positives:

~ Jason, Kyle, and Donna worked together as a team! Yay!
~Donna was willing to fight and protect her teammates!
~Donna didn't complain when Jason did something to save his teammate's life!
~Bob being ultimately evil is fun, even if "who monitors the monitors?" is the lamest 'inside' joke ever.

That's all the positives I have.

Now the negatives:

~ Oh, hi, Jean Loring of "paradise." Good to see you hanging out in the refrigerator section.
~ Oh, hi, Mary Marvel, who can apparently only be either EVIL or POWERLESS. Because powerful women are inherently evil, apparently.
~ Oh, hi, Evil Amazons. Glad to know you're the plot that just won't die. Because again, powerful women are inherently evil.
~ Oh, hi, Barry. You know, if you had only been a Mark Waid written Wally, you would have survived.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Yet Another Awesome Woman That Captain America Used to Know

2008-01-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

Adventures of Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty is one of many retellings of Cap's origin. It features the regular cast for the origin: scientists, generals, Bucky, etc. It also features Lt. Cindy Glass, who as it turns out is actually a spy for the Nazis.

She's also the designated love interest for Cap in the story, and my favorite scene is when he decides that she should "stay home" where she'll be safe. The lieutenant disagrees with this, admittedly because she needs to complete her double cross. But the reasoning she gives is nonetheless joyful and sets up the first in a long line of strong, awesome women that Cap will be attracted to throughout his life:

Ah, Lt. Glass. Now, to some degree, Cindy is an unfortunate case of "woman dies to give man something to fight for," but she was also a complex spy, and she didn't let anyone make her decisions for her. Both her positive and negative decisions are ultimately hers.

She was spunky and fun before she died, and while I dislike the sacrificial way in which she was killed, I loved the energy and strength she had before she was ultimately killed.

Poll Results for Worst Gender Related Comic Incident of 2007

2008-01-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

Amazons Attack 35%
Batgirl's Entire Personality Change 12%
BC/GA Wedding 12%
Starfire's treatment in Countdown to Adventure 12%
Black Canary Wedding Planner 6%
MJ Statue of Evil 6 %
Donna's weakness in Countdown 3%
Wonder Woman relaunch 6%
Cassie continuing to play Juliet to Kon 3%

It brings me happiness to see Starfire's treatment in CtA tied for second place, because honestly, I felt like I was the only one complaining about it - it is good to know that I was not alone there.

Belated By Christmas Comic Reviews

2008-01-02T01:44:00.000-08:00

52 Aftermath: Four Horsemen 5

This was delightfully silly. My favorite part of any comic that I have read in the past two weeks came from here.

Snapper, in response to Batman worrying about Superman and Wonder Woman: "Clark can take care of himself."

Batman, in reply: *slap.* "It's Superman. You'd do well to remember that."

While I wonder why, exactly, Wonder Woman can't take care of herself too, that scene did make me giggle. Madly.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 1/5

Action Comics 860

This one was a little boring, actually. I enjoyed the first part of this arc, but this one had me wanting to skim past pages more often than not. This is mostly because I still don't care about the Legion, but I do hope that it picks up pace next time around. The last couple issues worked because of the story, but this issue was little more than a showcase for the Legion with small bits of story thrown in.

Overall Score: 2.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Angel: After the Fall 2

Look. At this point, I don't even care about the plot. All I do care about is the fact that a show that developed as an offshoot of one of the greatest female sci fi characters ever is now reduced to panel after panel of boobs and ass.

And when, exactly, has *Spike* ever been about the orgies? Hasn't William's fault always been for the one woman that he will throw away his life and existence for? Suddenly, he died and now he's all about the orgies?

I don't know if the writer doesn't like Spike or doesn't like women, or what the deal is. But I do know that I have nothing positive to say about this comic.

Overall Score: 0/5. If you have birds, it would go nicely at the bottom of their cage.
Doormat Score: 5/5

Batman 672

Dear Grant Morrison,

I have but two things to say about this story:

a.) Please do not name your love interests Jezebel.

b.) Since when does ALFRED want Bruce to be more stoic, stay away from female companionship, and be more Bat-like?

Overall Score: 2.5/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Birds of Prey 113

I'll admit that I sometimes think Barbara could stand to be humanized a bit. At times she is completely unbelievable - come now, she can't beat up the Spy Smasher in hand to hand combat. I don't care what kind of bullshit training she received. It's just impossible and stretches my suspension of disbelief way too much. Also, if she can beat someone up in her wheelchair, then why cry over not being Batgirl anymore? She was *never* that competent as Batgirl.

The point being, I'm all for softening Barbara up. She isn't Bruce, and at times, is far too much of a Bruce clone in personality for my tastes.

But Barbara is *smart.* It's probably not an exaggeration to say that she's brilliant. She's also usually quite calm and collected.

So I have serious reservations when a new writer starts his tenure by waltzing in and having Babs have a breakdown in competency and leadership.

Also, Oracle has been shown to be respected by the League time and time again. For Superman to walk in and *scold* the Birds over a mistake (that they wouldn't have made under a more competent writer, frankly) makes no sense, either character or plot wise.

Superman isn't Batman. He doesn't give stupid territorial speeches about "my city."

At the end of this issue, I didn't like anyone. Barbara and the Birds are inefficient, Superman is an asshole, and Misfit was kind of pointless.

Speaking of Misfit...odd how I don't recall Barbara insisting Spoiler or Batgirl call her "Miss Gordon." And so, she would say that to Misfit, because....why, exactly?

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Captain America 33

Wow. There really is no end to Irondickery is there?

Bucky was very lovable here, and Sam was fantastic in his possessiveness. But bullying a man into becoming Captain America to sooth his own conscience makes me want to slap Tony repeatedly. And "I'll melt your brain" makes me wish Bucky had pulled the trigger.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5, as Sharon wasn't here.

Captain America: Chosen 5

I want to care about the characters in this story line, I really do. I even want to care about Red Shirt Lead Guy, but in the end? Everyone - including Captain America - is too two-dimensional to make the effort to care.

I'm sorry that Red Shirt is scared. I'm sure there are a lot of people in similar situations who are very scared - it's a horrible situation they're facing. But I see nothing particularly remarkable about Red Shirt, nor do I see any reason that Captain America should *choose* him above anyone else. We're being told Red Shirt is awesome, but the story doesn't support that.

And isn't the very first rule of storytelling "show, don't tell?"

Finally, the art just makes me laugh. I know that it's supposed to emphasize that Cap is dying, but it just makes me giggle...and that's probably not the reaction anyone was going for.

Overall Score: 1.5/5
Doormat Score: There are still no women here.

Catwoman 74

Selina, Selina, Selina. I ache for you. You used to be smart, sassy, and a woman who set traps for others. Now you can't see a trap until you're wrapped up in its net.

Here's hoping your writer gets the Batman he really wants to write and someone else can come in and fix you. Soon.

To be fair, the scene where Selina is hanging Calculator upside down by her whip was delicious. More of that would be lovely.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Countdown 19/18:

They finally found Ray. Thank god.

If it turns out the Monitor was evil after all this time, I will laugh a lot.

My favorite part of this entire story was Barry. It's so good to finally see a world in which the Flash wasn't Wally West. Mark Waid has made me completely sick of the creature.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Countdown: The Search For Ray Palmer: Superwoman/Batwoman

Well, this didn't have much of a plot at all. It was fun fan-service, and the art was gorgeous.

Donna had a backbone! I'm very pleased about that.

So, watching "Dane," I really wanted to hear him yell about Sparta. Just once. That had to be intentional, yes?

So, no plot, but Donna had a backbone and remembered she was an Amazon. Just once. That's worth a lot.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Daredevil 103

This issue made me realize what bothers me so much about the Milla/Lily story.

It's very clearly a Madonna/Whore complex retold in comic form. Milla is the pure, sweet and good woman and Lily is the whore who tempts men with her evil powers.

Why on earth would I ever want to read a story like that?

Moreover, Foggy? You were perfectly willing to use the woman. So do shut your hypocritical hole. You don't get to take a moral high ground on Lily's powers when you were willing to use them to save poor Milla.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Detective 839

Well, the family scene was sweet, except for the fact that Bruce is still missing part of his family. Would it be oh, so hard to have a writer reference Jason in a way that didn't make me want to slap Batman into next week? He doesn't have to think about him all the time, but when he is considering his sons, destiny, and possible negative consequences, he really should.

What's with Damian's hesitation in fighting? He has been fighting others throughout this entire arc.

And again I point out the hypocrisy of sending Sin away, when Bruce's first answer to Damian is "He was trained. He can fight." Pft. So was Sin. She got sent away to be protected.

I have no love for this storyline, and I hope a Final Crisis wipes Damian away for good. Hey, if it was good enough for the original Helena Kyle, it's good enough for that little brat.

Yay for Talia having a spine, though!

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Flash 235.

I LOVE John Stewart.

I have, for many years, wanted a crossover in which animated John Stewart (who has the luxury of knowing a good, honorable, fun Wally West) come in and kick Wally West's ass in the regular DCU. Because for years, Wally West has deserved it.

And this issue, he didn't get an asskicking, but John Stewart did tell Wally something I was yelling at him from the start of this issue.

"I'm tired. Lately you're either demanding or pushing or accusing us of wanting to take your kids. The Justice League isn't run by the one yells the loudest. It never has been."

And then he makes Wally say please.

It was excellent.

However, I'm not particularly pleased that Iris and Linda stay home like good little girls, and Jai and Wally go fight the crime like good, strong boys. Pft.

Nor am I particularly pleased with the end story. Of course, in the retelling of the Mark Waid Flash world, Bart Allen was a failure who caused more harm than good and Wally is a Saintly God Creature.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Green Lantern 26

With Geoff Johns no longer trying to screw up Kyle, this is actually an enjoyable tale. I enjoyed the women in this story - they're allowed to be both spunky love interests and strong warriors. And oh, Guardians. I keep expecting you to have more sense, and you keep letting me down.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Justice League of America 16

Aw, a Roy story! Love the Titans as I do, I was happy to see Roy-centric story. Especially after being left at the mercy of Judd Winick the past few years, it was delightful to see Roy in a story in which his fighting skills were high-lighted.

Dinah was awesome here, also. In control and not passive, and the Dinah-yells-at-Guy is always fun.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Superman 671

I care far more about Lana and her crazy insect adventure than I do about Lois (Lois Lane stays home on an afternoon to take care of a kid? In what crazy universe?) and the Super Brat at this point.

Also, why is Superman so mean to his son? Tying the child down with a red sun bracelet is cruel especially when it's making him sick.

And oh, goodness' sakes. Are we really going into another Chris subplot? Why?

I didn't really appreciate the "woe, Lana is a bad mommy too" undercurrent either. Gee, if I had a sprog with a man I obviously didn't love and who was pretty much a scumbag, I might not be so inclined to be the best mommy either.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Superman/Batman 44

Well, I'm glad that someone at DC realizes how ridiculous and overused the Kryptonite plot device is. Really, it's not pepper spray, people. Can we just get rid of it? Luthor and (if you must) Batman should have some. That's it. Anyone else having it cheapens it as a plot device and weakens Superman as a hero. Really, if Slade Wilson can toss out a chunk of Kryptonite and defeat Superman (*insert mandatory bitching about Slade's Mary Sue status*) then what's the point of even calling him Super in the first place? If he can be defeated by a guy with a gun, then I am suitably unimpressed.

I did like the story. It was snarky, fun, and I like a Batman who doesn't start complaining and whining the minute Clark steps foot in his city. That's a hero I can believe in.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Teen Titans 54

You know what I look forward to most in Chuck Dixon taking over Robin? The man has never touched a Robin without feeling the need to undo that which was done on the Titans. So I have high hopes he will come in and start writing Robin and give Tim a strong, fun, interesting love interest (Zoanne would work nicely.)

All things Cassie is not.

And this "still together eight years from now" crap? Please. They're children.

As for the preview of next issue - I don't care if Cassie loves Robin. I do care that she is a crappy Wonder Girl. Can we focus on THAT, please?

Overall score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 5/5.

What If: Civil War

As I was reading this, I rolled my eyes several times as the story took on a "See, this is why Tony Stark was RIGHT!" tone. In fact, I almost gave up reading it towards the middle, because of that. Look, it's obvious to me, and to people who don't have a vested interest in portraying Tony as a sympathetic creature, that he was wrong repeatedly in the Civil War, and I'm not interested in any attempts to justify his backstabbing, power-hungry behavior.

I'm glad I didn't stop reading. because what is revealed with the second alternate world is the fact that if Tony Stark had been a more faithful, more trusting friend - if he had taken his problem to the friend with whom he had a conflict, instead of being a backstabbing asshole - the Civil War could have ended before it began.

And Tony knowing that is the sweetest karmic justice of all.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: Let's see. The only woman of any importance in this story is Maria Hill, who is shown to be an even bigger backstabber than Tony Stark. It's not a positive portrayal of women at all. Oh, yes, and Reed's purpose is set when Sue dies. Because we could never tell the story of Sue's purpose being set when Reed died, could we? 3.5/5

The Best Comic I Have Read All Year

2007-12-29T05:10:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, I shall begin the process of resuming bitchy commentary on the past two weeks of comics. However, sadly, nothing was as enjoyable as this.

Ah, joy.

I would like, before it is all over, to observe Sharon Carter stuffing a few people's hands down a garbage disposal.

Today's "Why Judd Winick is Made of Fail" Post

2007-12-21T17:39:00.000-08:00

Oh, Look. That would be Dinah, shortly after her Canary cry was restored, kicking ass and knocking people out with it, and not breaking a sweat.

I miss your awesomeness, Dinah.

Pity she couldn't have chosen that method when, say, the impostor in her bed was trying to kill her. Instead of you know, crying and shoving an arrow through his neck.

So, About Blame

2007-12-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

You know, the idea that as readers we shouldn't blame the creators of a work when they produce a work which has obvious sexist themes, or otherwise generally unpleasant aspects related to the portrayal of women, is a bizarre one. It's one thing to argue against there being anything wrong with the work in question. It's another to admit there is a problem but then rush to say "Oh! But it's not the creators fault."

Of course it is.

Look, when I had issue with Nightwing's characterization as depicted by Devin Grayson and Judd Winick, I blamed Devin Grayson and Judd Winick. When I had issue with Chuck Dixon making Connor Hawke sexually attracted to the woman who raped his father, I blamed Chuck Dixon. When I had issue with Frank Miller making Batman an asshole, I blamed Frank Miller.

Why then, should I not blame Judd Winick for writing an awful Dinah? Why should I not blame Ian Churchill for making Donna Troy's costume in Titans East ridiculously lacking in cloth? Why should I not blame Adam Hughes for the Mary Jane Statue of EVIL? Why should I not blame Will Pfeifer for his portrayal of women, especially considering he's a dual offender at this point with Catwoman and Amazons Attack?

I don't believe that once an artist/writer makes a boo they're completely evil and unredeemable. For example, Identity Crisis is pure evil of the highest degree and I have nothing but rage for the way women are handled in that storyline. But I will defend Meltzer's choices and his characterization in Justice League all day - especially his Dinah and Diana. That doesn't change the fact that his Identity Crisis gave awful women, nor does it make his portrayal of women any less his fault. Likewise, Mike Grell gives a complicated and interesting Oliver Queen, but his idea of Dinah Lance was simply dreadful, regardless of the excuses he may shout in his interviews. Both are equally his fault and his doing.

I'm not calling for public castrations in the street. But accountability is a good thing, and saying that "oh, it's society's doing" is a lame excuse. Yes, society by and large has misogyny issues, that's true. But society as a large places little value on comics as well, so should we simply shrug and excuse all bad comics away as a casualty of society as a whole?

Of course not, and no one argues that. So until the day that I can argue, "Well, Bob Schmo doesn't care about Dick Grayson" as an excuse to explain away Devin Grayon's arc on Nightwing, I won't buy "Well, Bob Schmo has issues with women" as an excuse to explain away Frank Miller's inability to write women as anything but hookers.

Because in the end, it goes both way. I lay blame to the creators who fail at portraying women. But I give praise to George Perez and Gail Simone's Diana, Marv Wolfman's Donna Troy, Tony Bedard's Barbara Gordon, etc. To say that we should acknowledge the creators who do well but not the ones who do poorly is an inherit excusing of unacceptable behavior.

And Now the Bad and the Ugly This Week

2007-12-15T16:34:00.000-08:00

Green Arrow/Black Canary 3

Dear Judd,

I just have a few questions for you.

A. Why, again, exactly, isn't Roy part of team Arrow Rescue? I know you generally suck at interpersonal relationships, teams, and superhero comics in general, but you at least managed to get the Roy-Ollie relationship right in The Outsiders.

Also, I know you've clearly never read a book with Dinah in it - ever - but rest assured, she and Roy have a history too. A much more interesting, complex, and mother-son relationship than Mia and Dinah or Connor and Dinah.

If you didn't want him there, that's cool. There are reasons why he wouldn't be, namely Lian (who I'm sure is still traumatized and in need of lots of Daddy time after you had her kidnapped by a gang of child molestors.) He's lucky that you aren't writing him, as you generally write him as incompetent, but you should at least have bothered to explain why he wasn't there. Otherwise, it just generally makes me think you're even more stupid than before.

B. Did you really think the Potty Joke would have been funny to anyone older than 12?

C. For tips on how to write exposition in a non-annoying manner that makes me think that you passed at least seventh grade English, please see Wonder Woman 15.

D. So...you didn't really think the impotency joke would have been funny to anyone older than 12, right?

E. So...if I'm too busy laughing at the complete absurdity of the storyline as presented to even bother to care that you killed one of my favorite characters, that's a bad thing, right? Not exactly what you're going for?

F. It's really Dinah that was replaced, right? That totally explains her willingness to marry Ollie in the first place. Oh. Not your intention, either? Too bad. It's my new fanon.

Dear DC,

Do you remotely care how tiresome the Evil Amazons Plot is? At all? Yeah, didn't think so.

Overall Score (five being the best): 0/5
Doormat Score (five being the worst): 5/5

Countdown 20:

I know how you feel, Piper. Really. DC's killed two characters I love in the span of about two weeks. And we won't get into the death tally before that.

Hmmm. No Donna stupidity this week. This pleases me. Naturally, DC made up for this with its Mary Marvel plot. I don't really have anything to say about that, other than I'm glad I never was a fan of hers before. Because I'm angry on her behalf as it is; I'd hate to have been a fan and watch this plot unravel.

Overall Score : 1/5
Doormat Score: 3/5

Countdown: The Search For Ray Palmer: Red Son

On the positive side, the heroes actually acted like heroes this week. All three of them - Donna, Kyle, and Jason. And they worked together. No one behaved like a two-year-old who's had his toy taken away. Always a great thing to see.

On the negative side...so, in order to be in love with Superman, Wonder Woman's entire world has to revolve around him? Only in a badly written, Frank Millerized-type world. Which is to say, only in a world in which Superman is evil and Batman is the defender of all that's good and right...oh, wait, that's what this is, isn't it?

Sorry. I don't buy anything about this Elseworld, and I never have. Mostly because if you want me to believe that there is a DC comic character whose alternate universe counterpart is into the "my way or the highway" dictator thinking, it would be the one who lives in Gotham.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 5/5.

Wonder Woman and Other Goodies This Week

2007-12-15T15:27:00.000-08:00

Wonder Woman 15

I've done a lot of complaining about Wonder Woman the past year. Mostly, because DC has spent a year failing the woman who should, by all rights, be the greatest superheroine they have (yes, I say that with plenty of Black Canary love. Dinah's awesome, but she isn't Wonder Woman.)

This is the first issue of Wonder Woman all year that made me genuinely and completely satisfied as a comic book reader and as a woman. Moreover, it's the first Wonder Woman comic all year that had me wanting the next issue the minute I finished the comic. In short, the story was exciting and I wanted to root for both Wonder Women. Hell, for that matter, I wanted to be lurking around in the dark and hunting Nazis with Polly.

I'm not talented enough of a wordsmith to describe exactly why I love this story, but in brief, this is why it worked for me:

- Diana was allowed to use her brain, her heart, and her brawn. She was fully fleshed out as a three-dimensional heroine, and managed to do so without shedding so much as a single tear. It was glorious.

- "Battle. Life or Death, Athena help me - but I will always cherish it." That is the Diana I know and love.

- "No. No more conquerors here." The resolve in both the quote and Hippolyta's face almost made up for the stupidity of Amazons Attack, since it allowed for that line. Almost, mind you.

- "And even for him, I follow the Amazon code when facing a vanquished foe: punishment for the adult...empathy for the child. Even for him."

I...YES. YES. YES.

I'm so glad we are remembering that the Amazons represent compassion.

Oh, and Amazons Attack? That would be why the whole "let's show the Amazons terrorizing fathers in front of their children" was a stupid idea.

- "Athena, I beg you, for my tribe, the women who worshiped you for thirty-two centuries - grant me the wisdom to avoid further bloodshed. Grant me the grace to forgive my enemies, but failing that, Goddess...at least grant me the gift of good aim."

That line put a grin on my face that didn't leave all day.

- "This shell will grow into a vessel which will take you anywhere you need to go. Anywhere." - Oh, really? Does this mean we can dump stupid old Wayne Tech? Because I buy an Amazon needing a god's help to fly/transport, but needing Batman's help just makes me want to hurl.

- "'Trust to love.' Yes."

- The gods that we saw...were not assholes! And inherently, the people who worship them had their beliefs respected. Oh, very nice.

- Diana's grin in that last panel on the second to last page.

- The whole Crazy, Evil Amazon subplot? Goes to even further lengths to show how craptastic Amazons Attack was. There's still a level of fanaticism, but it's done with a gentler, more subtle hand, and manages to actually be interesting.

- There are still monkeys. The casual conversation between my Amazon princess and her monkey companions is the kind of bizarre, "comic book" material that I love, that is why I read comics in the first place.

- Nemesis was thankfully lacking. Curiously, when That Unworthy Creature is absent, the silliness of the "DC Doesn't Learn Its Lessons Well and Thus Stupidly Gave Us Another De-powered Diana Prince" plot isn't as hard to stomach. She didn't need Nemesis here to "save" her, she managed to just fine with her own intelligence (and a borrowed weapon or two) until she could escape and turn into Wonder Woman.

Gone were the Evil Man-hater caricatures that DC has been shoving down our throats this year, gone were the "I can either be sobby or evil" two-dimensional nonsense of Amazons Attack Overall, Diana and her people were shown as complicated women, being both warriors and kind women, depending upon what the situation called for. And in the end, that's the kind of treatment I want to open up any comic book.

To say that I look forward to Wonder Woman 16 is an understatement. More of this, please. So much more of this.

Overall Score (five being the best): 5/5
Doormat Score (five being the worst): 0/5

Nightwing 139

I'm very confused.

I liked Talia here. I've never liked Talia before, yet she was portrayed in a way that made me think she had both a spine and was a character worth caring about. I want to know more about this Talia.

I'm very confused about that. I hate Talia.

I loved this comic. This is Nightwing at his best. He was snarky, no emo in sight, he wasn't mourning over a love he never should have had in the first place, he was just competent and fun and sweet and huggable.

And he remembered he was a big brother! Well, one brother out of two ain't bad, at any rate.

Also, this comic gets serious props for remembering that it was "Stephanie. Dad. Conner" that broke Tim to where he was. Paul Dini was trying to sell us on Tim giving up and giving into the dark side just because Tim lost his parents, but anyone who has seriously been reading Tim for the past few years knows that's crazy. Tim is where he is not because he lost a parent; it's because he's lost practically everyone. There was a seriously effort to respect both Nightwing's history and Robin's, and it came across as a love for both characters.

I like it when my comic writers like the characters, too. It makes me very happy, because after all, if I didn't think my favorite characters deserved it, I wouldn't be reading the comic in the first place. Also, it was a nice counterpoint to Judd's stupidity with Green Arrow/Black Canary this week, which had about as much love for the characters as Superman has for Kryptonite.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: I can't believe I'm saying this about a book with Talia in it, but 0/5

Amazing Spider-Girl 15

I love this book. May is smart, funny, believable, and the best female teenager superhero in comics today. She has the "typical" teenage problems of love problems and family issues, but it's done in a way that doesn't talk down to the very audience it's supposedly trying to reach.

May manages to avoid the traps that both Wonder Girl and Supergirl (for the most part, though Kara's new writer is doing some interesting things and making her easier to like) have. As a hero, Spider-Girl is worthy of the symbol she wears, pays homage and respect to the person that carried it before her, and is truly likable as a person. She's complicated and has problems, but never will her defining moment be standing up to Mary Jane or Peter and telling them she is grown and doesn't need anyone to make her decisions for her.

Because that's not the role a teenage superhero should play. How often does Robin do the same to Batman? He doesn't. And we aren't supposed to believe that he should.

When Kara "stands up" to Superman, it makes me roll my eyes and think she should get her own costume if she's that bothered by the legacy. When Cassie talks back to Diana, I miss Nessie (oh, Nessie, I miss you and hope Gail brings you back from character limbo.)

When May is at her lowest, and being mind controlled, she deals with it by reminding us what her legacy means. Being the daughter of Spider-Man to May means this:

"I have to follow my heart. Have to believe in myself. Got to anchor myself to the floor -- and try to get some leverage. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
I've second-guessed myself too many times. Allowed doubts to erode myself confidence - and failures to overshadow victories.
No More!
I've messed up in the past - and will in the future.
But I have to remember that it's all part of growing up.
All part of my hero's journey.
If I ...When I survive ...
I'm going to make a concentrated effort to trust my instincts --and keep moving forward.
Almost out of air.
Not that it matters. I'll never stop fighting.
I'll find a way to win."

That's a sentiment that I want in all my legacy heroes. A joy to carry on the tradition, and a person who knows how tremendous their heritage is and the determination to live up to it. You can squee over the gratuitous Young Justice cameos in Wonder Girl's miniseries all you want, but it's still lacking that.

Moreover, that quote is the kind of superhero I wish comics would produce more of - less angst, less random death, more good guys kicking bad guy ass.

Overall Score: 4.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Actually, DC, Mommies ARE Cool

2007-12-11T23:21:00.000-08:00

Look, I'll be the first to admit that I hated Sin. I feel that her presence in Birds of Prey was a complete mistake. Her background was a bad Cassandra Cain ripoff, she didn't serve the story line or character growth of any of the characters, she didn't advance Dinah's character at all, and Dinah's reaction to her own career and life after taking Sin in was not the awesome, strong Dinah Lance that I have been reading for the past several years.

I ranted about Sin, and I ranted loudly and often. I wanted her to be written out of the comic, preferably in a way that guaranteed her never to be mentioned again.

DC granted me the wish of getting rid of Sin, but they did it by allowing it to be Ollie's decision, instead of the decision of the woman who was raising her.

Moreover, the reasoning was that Black Canary, chairperson of the Justice League, was not capable of protecting her adopted child from outside threats.

This same bizarre and inherently sexist plot device was reused in the atrocious Catwoman series. I won't go into all the stupidity surrounding Helena's conception and birth. The point is that Selina made the decision to have a child. She brought it into the world and made the decision that she was going to raise her.

And just like Black Canary, ultimately, Selina was shown to be incapable of caring for that child. Ultimately, Selina crawled to Bruce, begging for his help in taking care of said child not once but twice, and with the benevolence of his superior testosterone, Helena was finally given the cute little nuclear family she deserved.

Yeah, yeah, I'm reading too much into it, it's about superhero's lifestyles being too dangerous, and not a gender issue, right?

Sure. Let's compare and contrast how the male counterparts are doing with their sprogs :

- Clark and Chris Kent.

Danger factor: Let's see. Chris only got a bus dropped on him because of his association with Clark. Do I really need to list more?

Current Status: Merrily eating pretzels with Mom and Dad, and running into battle with monsters who want to wipe his entire species out. Enjoying the bizarre superpower of making Lois Lane a mindless zombie of a Stepford Mommy, ten times worse than Dinah ever was with Sin.

...Yes, Clark yelled at Bruce for allowing it to happen, but the fact is, Chris was dressed up, tossed on the cover in all his "let's replace the interesting Superboy" glory, and we were obviously supposed to think that his "saving the day" was a cool thing.

Yet, curiously, Sin's abilities were needed to be suppressed. Funny how no one ever thought that the answer - if one truly believes Black Canary to be as incompetent as Mike Grell and Judd Winick obviously do - to the problem was allowing Sin to fight back.

- Bruce and Damian Wayne.

Danger factor: The man has two dead Robins under his belt. I have to list the danger factors?

Current Status: Other than Damian being the most annoying, prevalent Mary Sue to ever live, this exchange sums it up pretty well:

Talia: Batman will never love you...you'll always come a poor second to his duty. We both will.

Damian: He'll love me when he gets to know me better.

Talia: I love you now. why would you rather be with him than me?

Damian: He's cooler than you, Mom!

And there went any urge I might ever have to get to know and enjoy Damian.

Oh, I suppose it's not technically the child's fault. Even if he has been written by multiple writers, and depicted as completely unworthy of panel space by each and every one of those writers, I suppose it's still not technically his fault, or even the fault of that exchange alone, that makes me completely uninterested in his story.

No. It's the fact that the exchange reflects an overall despicable trend at DC since OYL began. The trend that says, "Hey! Dads are cool. Moms on the other hand are lame, and only capable of taking care of a kid if Dads are around."

Dads, of course, don't need Moms. Neither, apparently do little kids.

I've left Lian and Roy Harper out of the discussion, other than a gratuitous mention that Roy's single fatherhood (and the great father that he is) is something that was celebrated as recently as Meltzer's JLA run.

I've also left out that over in the Titans, we're supposed to believe that as much of a monster as Slade is, he's still a great Dad and that even though he's a serial killing rapist, he's still a great guy because he's a great Dad.

I've also left out the completely ineffectual parent that Cassie Sandsmark's mom has become. It's been a while building with her, unfortunately, because ever since Johns starting writing the Titans, Cassie's mom has been a weak-willed thing bearing no similarity to her previous appearances. But OYL, Cassie became the parent, escorting her mom off to be "protected."

I've left out Animal Man's horrid little son and the way his mother allows him to disrespect a female guest in her home over in Countdown to Adventure.

The only example of a mother at DC that I can list this year who has mattered in a positive way is Kyle's Mom, and her importance came through death.

Which, really, says volumes.

Ideally, I would like DC to quit acting as though every woman in their universe wants nothing more than to be a Mommy. I would like them to acknowledging that becoming a mother is a choice, not the default mode for all women. However, since it is unlikely that wish will ever come true, I will settle for wishing that they would acknowledge that mommies can be as strong, awesome and as important as daddies.

Because for my money, Catwoman and Black Canary are cooler than Batman any day.

Comics Reviews

2007-12-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

52 Aftermath: Four Horsemen 4

I love this series, mostly because Superman and Batman are the kind of men that I like them to be. Good heroes and good friends whose differences compliment each other. Batman is immensely well written here, unlike in say, current Justice League. He's important, but never to the lengths that other writers go to, so that his colleagues are unimportant.

I love it a lot for that.

And hey, who doesn't love a story about the Trinity fighting monsters, even if they have the misfortune to have Snapper Carr tagging along?

The problem, of course, is Wonder Woman.

Look, this is pettiness:

Diana shouldn't be petty. With the world at stake (something Batman and Superman are actually doing something about while Diana has useless face offs with Veronica Cale) she isn't going to be all worried because one of her villains *dared* to call her unimportant.

She's a hero. Is that so hard to remember?

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 3/5

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man 34

You know what's awesome about Marvle Adventures Spider-Man? The fact that it offers a fun, free Peter Parker and all his high school drama, potentially offering Spidey "origins" to a whole audience who wasn't around to see them the first time around.

You know what's not awesome about Marvel Adventures Spider-Man? The fact that One More Day's whole purpose is to strip away all the character development that went into making 616 Peter Parker a richer, more full character than his geeky, loser high school counterpart as depicted in this title.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Justice League 15

So, all those people who were complainly about Clark respecting Vixen's privacy because it somehow was disrespectful of Dinah's leadership? I do hope they are complaining much more loudly about Batman's actual disrespect of her leadership in this issue, and the way that we're supposed to clap and pat him on the back for it.

Actually, the scene in the end where Firestorm is welcomed into the League? Gee, don't you think that maybe Dinah should have been consulted about that first? I know she was off planning the biggest mistake of her life, but maybe League matters are, oh, 700 times more important than Ollie and his jockstrap.

Also, I'm sick of the Bat God syndrome already(which if I wanted, there are plenty of actual Bat Titles to read instead.) If that was Superman being THE BESTEST MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE DAMN BOOK, people would never stop complaining about it and how it's "not relateable."

I like Batman, when he's written well.

I don't like the Justice League to be useless without him.

Things I like:

- Diana and Dinah's personalities. Strong women, awesome.
- Oh, look! In a book not written by Judd Winick, we're seeing Dinah actually fighting and using her skills. Pity she couldn't remember to use that awesome skill to knock people out when she was fighting Deathstroke or Evil Imposter Ollie.

Things I didn't like:

- Why must Deathstroke be a part of the bad guy team? He's a Titan villain. Please quit making me thing he's in the League's uh, League.
- When the writer of Identity Crisis doesn't mention his own story as many times as you have, you're doing something wrong. Stop with the Identity Crisis comments. We've all read it. The sane among us hated it. Let's not rehash it.
- The Goddamn Batman taking over the story.
- The Goddamn Batman thinking he's the chairman of the League.
- Roy letting the Baby Mama get away.
- The chick in fishnets making fat jokes. Nice message to send to little girls, DC. Let's see, so far this year we've gotten from DC a wealth of fat jokes, several shots at those evil man-hating feminists, lots of homophobia courtesy of Countdown... I can only assume that next year DC will continue to move backwards and give us some equally inappropriate race jokes. Not cool, DC. I'm sorry the cheerleaders didn't want any of you when you were horny little boys, but that's no reason to make your characters assholes.
-The fact that this book is looking more and more like a rehash of JLU. I could rewatch JLU if I wanted that, or I could read the JLU Comic. Between Bat God, Amanda Waller, and the stupidity of the Legion of Doom/Injustice Society/Secret Society of Evil People, I'm losing my patience.

But if we must continue with this path, can we at least have Batman Beyond's Son of Contrivance meet the Current Son of Contrivance and there be blood shed? I hate Terry and Damian equally, and have fond hopes that Damian's evilness and Terry's stupidity will result in the death of them both.

Hey, a girl can dream.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

Countdown 21

Well, they killed off one half of the only story in this that I actually care about, so now I have two main reasons to continue to read this story:

a.) See how far Paul Dini can go to make me think Geoff Johns is right in the matter of Green Lanterns.

b.) See how much Donna's completely unworthy of being mentioned in the same breath as Diana.

This issue delivered plenty of evidence in both circumstances.

I try to imagine what Diana's response in a similar situation would be. I don't forsee bitching about it over and over again.

Possibilities:

"Interesting battle tactic."

"Good save."

"Amazons do not employ such deception in their battles. We prefer the straight ahead approach...still, I cannot deny that it worked."

"Thank you."

"Pft. I've worked with Batman. He would have set the setting higher."

A general lack of whining. Please, Donna, are you going to start complaining about how the act of shooting you messed up your hair, too? Might as well. You've been a sad and useless player in this entire storyline thus far.

And complaining about your hair would make as much sense as this:

"No. I know nothing about you."

Donna, other than saying "I do" to Terry Long, that is probably the dumbest thing you've ever said.

Overall: Please let Donna stop bitching about her teammate's actions in battle. It's decidedly not Amazon-like, and makes me reread Graduation Day with Glee.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: For Donna alone, 5/5. I will not be surprised if she starts complaining about breaking a nail next.

Justice Society 11

Dear DC,

Power Girl is AWESOME.

Please let her stop crying in every.panel.she's.in.

Also, thanks for destroying a world I loved.

No love,
Me

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Countdown Arena 1:

You know the saying that "even Superman has Kryptonite?"

Yeah, DC should really keep that in mind when constructing their villains.

Come on, all that skill, all that power gathered together, and I'm supposed to believe that none of them can take down Monarch?

Right.

That doesn't make an AWESOME, COOL VILLAIN, DC. It just makes me roll my eyes.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Buffy Season Eight # 9

*Sigh.*

So, eight seasons and Buffy's still a child. In fact, worse than that, she's more a child than she was at the start of season one.

I loved Faith and the maturity she showed here, and Giles was well written, also. But the story - the entire universe - is about Buffy. Maybe she could be written as something other than a spoiled five year old.

Check that, spoiled five year olds are less self-centered than she was portrayed here.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 1/5

Robin 169:

"My fate? My fate is to be a mother...and suffer for it."

Oh, god help me. That sums up the bulk of DC's storylines for their female characters this year.

And adds to my reasons to want to see Damian die.

As for the title character, I believe, after all the crap he's been through, that he would make this choice.

I just don't see that we had to be subjected to the evilness of Damian's existence in order to make the storyline happen.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 5/5, based soley on Talia and Damian's exchange.

Supergirl 24

I *like* this Kara. I liked the way she and Kal interacted, as an adult and the teenager that they are.

And I loved seeing the glimpses of Krypton through her eyes. This is a Supergirl I like!

Two issues in a row, even. Awesome. Good job, DC. It's the only non-sarcastic Good Job you've earned this week.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Captain America, back when the women he knew were strong

2007-12-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

Ah, Tales of Suspense. Written decades ago, yet still managing not to bug me as much as Brubaker's Sharon Carter.

Managing not to be weak or submissive even while in the grips of the enemy.

And that panel warms my heart. It's good to see an Agent 13 who copes some way other than breaking down and crying every other panel because life is hard.

Belated by Turkey Day Comics Reviews, Part II

2007-12-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

Gotham Underground 2

Admittedly, I didn't have a whole lot of love for the first issue of this story. I know everyone else thought it was the greatest Batman story published all year, but I thought it was over-hyped, predictable, and loved on the flimsy account of the people who believe that Matches Malone is an entertaining plot device.

This one was was a lot better. It seemed to have an actual plot besides "Woe! Gotham is dark!" which was its predecessor's startling selling point (really, DC? I hadn't noticed.) But the historical angle added a definite touch, and I'm intrigued about Spoiler.

But most of all, I loved Dick.

Because Dick was portrayed exactly as he should be. From Robin we learn:

But hey, you're the man in charge now, I guess. Which hasn't been such a bad thing. I mean, it's nice not to have things always be so...well, restrictive. Case in point...when we found out Whale had hit town? I wondered why a successful Metropolis crime lord suddenly picked up and decided to try his luck in a city as competitive as Gotham. Not unless there's a good reason...like being driven out of town, for instance.

So when I tell Dick I want to investigate this further and run it all by an old friend in Metropolis? "Sure, go ahead, kid."

But won't that leave Gotham a bit shorthanded with the both of us and Batman out of play? "Relax," he says. "I've got it covered."

Bruce isn't open-minded like Dick is, especially when it comes to things like this. Calling in Oracle and others for help. Giving me the freedom to follow up on my own hunches.

(Pst: that would also be exactly why Dick should never be Batman.)

A non-broody, non-Batman 2.0 version of Dick is always a joyous sight to behold, even if the plot continues to be flimsy. The self-confidence and ease with which Dick is operating in this book is beautiful.

Also, I'm pleased that Oracle can be a part of a Bat Book without being pigeon-holed into some ridiculous relationship with Dick. There wasn't so much as a single instance of eye-roll inducing flirting, and that was glorious. More of that, please.

Overall Score (five being the highest): 3/5
Doormat Score (five being the lowest): 1.5/5, for the scene with the blond and Scarface.

Marvel Adventures Iron Man 7

On one hand, I love MA Iron Man. I wish we got MA Iron Man in the 616 Marvel Verse, because I care much more about this guy, who is actually trying to be a hero, than the mean creature walking around in his armor right now.

On the other hand, Pepper (whom I normally love) gets on my nerves. It's not really a feminist issue so much as it's an "annoying character who makes me roll my eyes." More a case of Jimmy Olsen than Talia. Honestly, Pepper got to be more grown up and cool in the old Tales of Suspense issues, and that's kind of sad.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Batman 671

Ugh.

I'm so sick of this storyline. I'm so sick of Ra's. And I'm so sick of Batman helping him. That's the best he can do as a hero?

Would it be too much to ask for to ask that Morrison stop shoving the Ra's/Bruce/Talia/Damian family down my throat? Yeah, yeah, Morrison. Talia's your favorite. Batman's your self-insertion. I get it.

I get it. I also get that it makes a lousy story.

All this story did was make me go back and re-watch Batman Begins with the explicit purpose of enjoying the train crash sequence. Because that Batman is not as worthless or stupid as the one here.

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: Still stuck with Talia.

JLA Classified 47

If you have to write Diana as constantly telling us that she is an Amazon in every panel she is in, you are doing it wrong.

Also... I find the notion that the Amazons aren't competitive completely ridiculous.

A fun story, sure. But Diana was a bit too two-dimensional for my taste.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Teen Titans 53

This Kara was fun! I liked her and want to see more of her! She had a brain! And was tough! I didn't think "Mary Sue" or "why are you here" once. Oh, why can't Supergirl always be that fun to read?

In fact, the whole of the issue seemed to be high-lighting how awesome the female characters in the Titans are! This is definitely new, and I'm very pleased about this change.

Still, this arc has lasted a little long. It's getting to be rather stale at this point.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Belated by Turkey Day Comics Reviews, Part I

2007-12-03T14:30:00.000-08:00

Action Comics 859

It is popular opinion among the DC comic reading fen that a.) Kurt Busiek can do no wrong, and b.) Kurt Busiek is writing the best, most awesome Superman stories ever! As anyone who has read this blog on a regular basis can tell, I don't share that opinion. At all. Reading Busiek's Superman is painful most of the time, and irritating enough that I frequently want to reach inside the panels and smack Clark at others.

Comparatively, Geoff Johns' work on Action is making me happy, yet Geoff Johns is usually the one making me want to smack his characters (smacking the Titans for their emo, smacking the Titans for not being good enough to capture Slade Sue, slapping Kyle for being annoying, slapping Hal for being a Mary Sue.) Also, I don't care about the Legion of Superheroes. At all. I think they are surpassed in ridiculous comic book traditions only by Krypto, at least in execution.

And yet, I enjoyed this comic. A lot.

This disturbs me enough that I devoted a fair amount of consideration to determine why.

In the end, I realized that it is because Geoff Johns is giving me stories about Superman, who is, shockingly enough a superhero. Moreover, he's THE Superhero of the DCU. The one that sets the example, the one that is deserving of the status of being the reason all the other DCU superheroes exist.

*laughs.* Yes, everyone. Are you listening, Frank Miller?

Johns gives a Superman who is always willing to charge into battle (not in the mindless, Frank Miller-ized way) because it's the right thing to do, a Superman who is awe-inspiring enough that his legacy lasts for enough to create galaxy-wide change even after his death.

Busiek's Superman? Is none of those things. His responsibility is a burden, and he's far more concerned with eating pretzels than saving the world. Busiek's Superman is content to stay at home with Lois and the rest of his perfect little family while Supergirl takes care of Metropolis. Busiek's Superman needs Lois' permission to be be a superhero.

Busiek, in short, writes some dude in a cape, and a pretty petty, self-centered one at that. Johns is giving me an actual Superman. The latter is what I am interested in investing money and time into.

I don't have a lot to say about women in this storyline, except for this: if I was remotely interested in thinking about reading any story with the Legion of Superheroes, the fact that the men we saw are clothed from neck to foot while the women seem to be having a contest with one another about how much flesh they can display would seriously turn me off of reading said title.

Overall Score (five being the highest): 4/5
Doormat Score (five being the lowest): 3/5

Angel: After the Fall 1

It has Gwen! And Connor! And vampire Gunn!

It has Wes too, for the people who didn't grow tired of his backstabbing fool self way back in season three of the show.

Overall I like the direction. I like the direction much more than Season Eight of Buffy, mostly because despite the fact that Angel's entire city has been dropped into Hell (is it just Hell singular now, Angel crew? What happened to Hell dimensions? Is singular Hell more important than other Hells?) no one is whining as much. Sure, Angel gives some stock brooding, but mostly, he climbs on his dragon's back and goes on to fight the next fight.

There is more "let's take charge of things and fix them" in the last three pages of this comic than there has been in the entire Buffy Season Eight run thus far. That makes me sad to the degree that I really wish Faith were here instead.

That being said, my one reservation is that the women in this comic...I want to see improvement next time around. Gwen is awesome and in charge (though funny, thought she got rid of her electric charge during the show) but Wolf Girl's whole purpose is to lick people. And Gunn shows us he is evil by preying upon a group of young women with "erotic" overtones to the whole mess.

It's not Amazons Attack by any means. But it still is pretty shady story telling.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 3.5/5

Birds of Prey 112

I am really loving the new writer on Birds of Prey! This is odd, as I didn't really care for his previous works that I have read. But overall, there's a liveliness and fun to the title that's been missing for more for some time, and the characters are more three dimensional and awesome than the stale stand-ins that I feel they became towards the end of Simone's run. It's not perfect, but as beginnings of runs go, it has me excited and looking forward to more each month.

This issue was all of those things - fun, delightful characterization of Zinda in a way that showed her as much more than the Slush Pilot plot device to swoop in and save the Birds in Distress. She was a kickass fighter, and we were reminded exactly why she was worthy of membership in the Birds team.

Despite the overall fun of the book, the last two pages made me tear up a bit. Such a fitting, good tribute, and one I can't help but think Barda would have approved of immensely.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Captain America: The Chosen 4

*Sigh.*

The problem with writing "good guys" such as Captain America, Superman, Wonder Woman, or Nightwing is that there are a lot of people who simply aren't very good at it. The broody, boring anti-heroes, and the broody, cranky jerks (Batman's great, but everyone shouldn't be Batman) of the comic world come with the kind of built in crutches that give their writers a lot of net to fall into if the high wire gets a little too slippery (Wah, life was hard to me, watch me angst for three panels about it again.) Good guys don't come with that. Which means we get either one of two types of badly written stories for the good guys. Either we get stuck with the heroes getting forced into scenarios that make them into the broody, boring, overdone emo jerks that already take up too much of comicdom (see: Superman being a government toady, Wonder Woman sobbing every other panel because her mommy and The Underserving Jackass Otherwise Known As Nemesis don't love her properly, Nightwing having a nervous breakdown, calling one of his best friends a junkie, and going on the road with a known serial killing rapist ) OR we get badly written stories from the opposite end of the spectrum: overwrought self-congratulatory parodies of the original characterization.

This storyline? When it isn't bordering on mind numbingly boring? Is exactly that kind of story.

I know that Cap embodies Honor, Loyalty, Courage, and Sacrifice. That's kind of why I buy the books he's in, even badly written ones like this and Civil War. I do not need to have that lesson repeated over and over again by the main characters, one of whom is random no name that I care about as much as I care about the average Red Shirt in an episode of Star Trek.

It's grandeur to the point of absurdity, and it makes me wince for the character's behalf that he is caught in such a foolish little story.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: There are women in this comic? Surely women aren't important to the Captain America story. Surely not.

Captain America 32

Much more like it.

I love Bucky. I love him more than I love possibly any other Marvel character, and I am glad he exists at Marvel and not DC so that he doesn't have to endure the stupidity of the same fans who can't get over Jason Todd being alive.

That aside, it is curious why the man who has been under mind control for years is suddenly COMPLETELY RESISTANT! to any efforts to control him, while the formerly cool, calm, and used to be awesome Sharon Carter is pretty much submissive and weak. Sure, she was strong enough to rebel long enough to free Bucky, but this storyline has been going on since at least issue 26, and she's been wallowing over and over again.

While I think the whole Sharon/Steve TRUE LOVE bit was a foolish bout of nonsense in and of itself, if she wasn't being written as so completely pathetic (and opposite of her previously established awesomeness) her grief could be a believable part of the narrative that adds to the story. Lois' grief in the Superman death arc did that for me, and it was a case in which the obvious True Love of Clark's Life ~~besides Bruce~~ was experiencing agony because of the loss of someone she could never replace. I wanted to take Lois into my arms, hug her, and tell her it would be okay, because he'd be back soon.

When Sharon does her crying fits to show her grief? I just want to smack her. Repeatedly. And hard.

And you know what sucks the most about this storyline? The Former SHIELD Agent Sharon Carter that Brubaker is giving me would not only not retaliate, but she'd stand there and let me smack her, and that's more wrong than I have words to express.

I miss the old, awesome Sharon Carter. Please give her back, Brubaker?

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Detective Comics 838

Oh, wait. Are we seriously back to the Bruce and Talia love each other story? We're supposed to believe that the man who loved the kind of strong, kickass, stubborn and fun woman that is Selina Kyle is also attracted to Talia why? She floats back and forth between Daddy and Beloved and any efforts at giving her a spine or the ability to think for herself are quickly erased by writers who for some reason see the appeal in a mindless bimbo with Daddy Issues.

She's the comic book equivalent of Jessica Simpson, really, and that makes me a sad, sad reader.

General thoughts:

- Damian is still the biggest Mary Sue this side of Slade Wilson. I guess that is what happens when you are conceived by the DNA of two such soulmates as Bruce and Talia. Or something.

- Nightwing did not brood once and kicked ass. I approve of both of these measures

- Alfred also kicked ass. Oh, Alfred, good show.

- Ra's, honey, if you really wanted to bring Tim to the dark side, his parents weren't the way to go. He hasn't spent the better part of a year trying to clone his parents. You wanted to get to him, you should have offered Kon or Bart back. I'm sorry if that offends your heteronormative sensibilities, Paul Dini, but it's true, and please stop following the grand Bat Book tradition of ignoring character growth that takes place in Titan books. It's annoying, and leads to such utter nonsense as Nightwing Year One and Nightwing Annual 2, both of which are good for lining the bottom of my non-existent parrot's cage, and pretty much nothing else.

Overall Score: 3/5 (all earned by Alfred and Dick)
Doormat Score: It has Talia and her "beloved." That's a 5/5 by default.

Iron Man DOS Annual 1

This issue mostly made me go back and reread Thor #3.

I'm amused that SHIELD went back to being under the jurisdiction of the UN. Glad that invading another country is a big bad no but that backing the hunting down, killing, and general evilness of the pro-reg side of the United States is a Very Good Thing.

Tony, honey, you keep telling yourself that your male agent was okay with dying. Except that's two co-workers/teammates you've gotten killed in the past year. Enjoying your position, Director Stark?

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 2.5/5

The Flash 234

You know, I love how Wally was the worst mentor ever to Bart, and now we're supposed to believe he is the second coming of Barry with his own kids.

And yeah, maybe I'd quit harping on it if Mark Waid could be bothered to convince me that Wally is at all affected by Bart's death. Until then, I'll just keep thinking that Wally is an asshole. It's nothing new really.

In other news, I'm pleased that Linda is a Super Genius Brain, though I am still confused as to how this happened.

Iris and Jai are growing on me even though I'm annoyed that Jai isn't named Barry and that Wally has completely forgotten all the times he whined and complained about never having a normal childhood. Gee, what are the bets Iris and Jai are going to have those issues too? Iris irked me with her "hey, making fun of Fat Kids is cool" comment issues back, but honestly, I can see Wally raising his kids to believe that it's okay to make fun of others.

I wanted to dislike Iris and Jai, because they are obvious Bart replacements, but then I realized that made me sound like the sad people who still rant about Jason Todd stealing Robin from Dick, and I can't be that stupid in my logic.

So, yay for the kids, no yay for Wally, and a confused yay for Linda.

But the best part of this book was the part with Barry and Iris Allen. Oh, DC, why can't you do couples like this anymore? Iris is strong, Barry is sweet and fun, and they obviously belong together. They make each other better and stronger by being together. Compare that to Dick and Babs, Tim and Cassie, or Nemesis and Diana, all of whom are either mentally unhealthy couplings or offensively stupid.

I don't read comic books for the romantic angle. But is an undeniable part of the storylines, and I would like them to make sense when they occur. Or at least be believable. In essence, I want more Barry/Iris, Mary Jane/Peter, Hippolyta/Wild Cat type of relationships.

Less "We had teenage crushes on each other, so clearly we are meant to be together forever, despite the fact that we only exist as a pairing because Chuck Dixon can't write a story without making up a crappy romantic subplot, and even though this story makes no sense and completely ignores Kory's importance in Dick's life, all the women who want to be just like Babs and want to a man just like Dick Grayson will love it."

Less "I have Juliet Syndrome because my boyfriend died, so let me solve that by jumping into the arms of his best friend because that makes such a good example for how a Wonder Girl should behave."

Less "This man doesn't respect Diana as a woman or as his partner, but let's put them together because the woman who was too disappointed in Superman to consider dating him would totally date this waste of panel space and hey, it will shut up all those people who bizarrely believe Diana needs an unpowered, weaker man as arm candy in order to be strong herself."

Less "My whole purpose in this story is to be pregnant with the dead guy's kid despite the fact that I used to be an awesome SHIELD agent."

Less "My whole purpose in this story is to whine, cry, be helpless, and beg my husband to save me."

Less "Despite what the people who get their canon from Superdickery.com believe, I have had more purpose in my existence than to fight with Lana and want to pop out superbabies, but hey, let's ignore all of that and make me perfectly content and willing to be a mommy first and foremost."

If you're going to have romantic plots in your storylines, that's all very well and good. Just make them make sense please.

Overall Score: 3.5/5 for the main story, 5/5 for the Barry/Iris section
Doormat Score: 0/5

Catwoman 73

Things that are wrong with this title:

1.) Selina had a purpose before being Helena's mommy. There's no reason she can't have one now.
2.) Selina Kyle is many things, but she's never been STUPID. And yet, the Selina here can't be described as any other way. She was a criminal for years, and she walked right into a trap like that? Set by the Calculator?
3.) Funny how nearly every panel in this comic makes me believe that the writer has great contempt for his subject, and yet, whenever Batman appears, he goes out of his way to show how AWESOME COOL WONDERFUL AND PUT TOGETHER BATMAN IS.

The things that are not wrong with this title:

...

Well, at least the "I'm not strong enough to be a Mommy!" issue was decided by her, and not Oliver Queen. She's got one up on Dinah there.

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 5/5, and it's still not high enough.

Countdown 23/22

Well, I guess we don't have to worry about any more "funny" homophobia from Trickster any time soon.

It's sad that DC doesn't realize that having fun in their comics is a good thing. I'm not sure when they decided they were Marvel 2.0, but the light-hearted buddy trip between Piper and Trickster ending this way is pure nonsense.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: As always for Countdown, 4/5. Mary Marvel's plot line of WTF guarantees that.

A Lesson in Pictures

2007-11-18T06:06:00.000-08:00

Donna's New Teen Titans Costume, as originally envisioned:

Pretty, classy, with just a bit of cleavage for sex appeal. All in all, Donna's original NTT costume was one of the more sensible, more believable superheroine costumes that we've been given.

Please note how the neckline did not plunge down to her belly button.

That same costume rendered for Titans East Special:

All the appeal, all of the fun of that era is stripped away, and we are left with a very sad parody of the original.

Other than Countdown, thoughts on Comics

2007-11-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

Buffy Season Eight: 8

I'm really not impressed with the reoccurring Faith/Buffy/trust issues storyline. There's no sign of the character growth Faith went through from season 4 of Angel and season 7 of Buffy. None.

Also, I'm beginning to think that Buffy and Donna need to have lunch together. They can talk all about being crappy teammates together.

The problem with this storyline and Buffy's "Oh, Faith is evil and dark and I never trusted her and neither did Giles" is two-fold:

a.) This is coming from the hero who trusted Spike and Angel when no one else did. She can trust the men trying to get into her pants, but not Faith, because...why? What Faith "did" to her was no where near as bad as what Angelus or Spike did, but Buffy was able to bury that hatchet with them. For that matter, her bestest of the greatest best friends kicked Buffy out of her home and backstabbed her every bit as much as Faith ever did in season seven...and yet, she forgave them. Why can't she get over her nonsense with Faith when she has forgiven everyone else?

b.) It's character age regression, plain and simple. Buffy is younger mentally in this story line, with her pettiness than she was by the end of season seven. Fans may hate (unjustifiably, in my opinion) season 6, but they can't deny it was a growing up phase. It displeases me to see it ignored.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Green Arrow/Black Canary 02:

- Ollie can't outrun Amazons. Not even for a little bit. Sorry, Winick, but the phrase "Amazon" means more than "man-hater," you talentless hack.

- Ollie's jokes about the Amazons being "broads" and "man-haters" are both completely out of character (unless, like Judd, one is to believe the only reason Ollie ever wanted Dinah was because she was really hot, otherwise, one does not hook up with a woman of Black Canary's skill when they are a sexist asshole) and do not make for a sympathetic character to follow. I hope the Amazons do beat him into a coma for saying those things. He deserves it.

- Mia's outburst was nothing more than Judd Winick sharing his own personal lifestyle philosophy. It doesn't match who she is, or how she behaves, and Dinah, if she was being written by anyone with any sense, would have sent her butt back to the boat for nearly blowing their entire operation.

- "I mean, I don't think anyone living here should be casting aspersions. Considering y'all live by an edict of kill-happy death mongers -- combined with the fact that there's not a single jock strap to be found on the rock."

Gee, I don't know why I EVER might have said that Judd Winick had issues with women.

Because god knows that an island full of women without cocks is sexual deviancy.

Or, as Mia continues, completely out of character:

"Fellas. If you wanna split ethical hairs, Queen Bee - I'm sure there's a few red state types that'd take serious issue with this sapphic garden of lost professional volleyball players that you gals call home."

That would be why people accuse Judd Winick of wanking his political beliefs all over his writing.

Judd, honey, I wish a lifetime supply of jock itch on your "jock strap." And really? I hate to break the news to you, but your "jock strap" and indeed, all the "jock straps" in the world, aren't that important. Not even to the heterosexual female population.

I'm sorry, will you ever get over the bruise to your male ego?

- ... And Dinah condones that thinking? Really? Well, explains why she married Ollie. Can't survive without a good screw from the right "jock strap."

- Let's see if I can sum up why Dinah punched Amazon Chick.

First, Amazon Chick says her loudmouthed child is unclean. Said loudmouthed child then goes on a rant in which she calls the Amazons a bunch of filthy lesbians, and Amazon Chick is not amused and says she is unclean of body and mind.

Then Dinah smacks Amazon Chick?

Okay...

- No, Judd, my dear misinformed adolescent Peter Pan, Diana would not approve.

- Connor, who is supposed to be sane, would not believe that "everything was finally good" because of this psycho marriage from hell.

- Gee, considering that Dinah is the chair of the JLA, maybe bringing in her team would have been a good idea. When Oliver Queen is the most intelligent member of the hero party, the story has issues.

- Why the hell wasn't Roy involved in the rescue attempt? Suddenly Mia is Dinah's daughter, but Roy is no longer her son? (Or Ollie's, for that matter?) Judd, honey, there are days when I doubt you can even read, but you do know that the Dinah and Roy have a much richer, much more important history than Dinah and Mia, yes?

- Funny how this makes absolutely no sense given what has happened in the Wonder Woman title thus far.

Overall Score: 2/5 (hey, all that hard work at giving Dinah and Ollie the same amount of makeup is worth that much.)
Doormat Score: 5/5

Supergirl 23

I'm really glad they gave her a skirt which covers her reproductive organs and some internal organs, but is it too much to ask that she have a brain, too? I mean, really, the Smallville version of Supergirl (and no one should ever accuse Smallville of being feminist friendly) manages to convey the "not from around here" confusion while still letting her be *smart.*

And gee, I'm so glad Batman is around to lend his brain to Supergirl and his technology to Wonder Woman. However would they survive without him?

Maybe Bruce can take time out buddying it up with Kara and go check on Cass and Jason. That might be a good thing and might make him look less like a jerk.

The no dialogue story telling was cute...but I'm not really sure I know what happened in this storyline.

Overall, an improvement from what came before. Kara was likable, and that's certainly a step up from before.

Overall Score: 3.5/5 (mostly for the very pretty art)
Doormat Score: 2/5

Titans East Special 1:

First the positives:

- The very best Dick Grayson Judd Winick has ever been responsible for was in these pages. Dick was awesome, fun, and in command (but dammit, the boy doesn't live in Gotham!)

- Hawk and Dove were a lot of fun here. I *really* like Hawk as she was presented (a woman who enjoys sex? Shocking.)

- Power Boy got impaled.

The negatives:

- I don't know who is to blame for this, whether it's Winick's instructions or the artist's own initiative, but someone needs beaten. Every single woman in this storyline served only one purpose, and that was to show us how gloriously her breasts could defy gravity.

- Dick Grayson in the Robin costume never had hairy legs. I'm sorry if that offends your Hetero sensibilities to think that he might have waxed or whatever, but please be getting over it.

- If I have to look twice at your Kory because she looks like Barbara Gordon, your art has issues.

Overall, this is getting a lot of flack for bad writing, which I'm not sure it deserves. It's writing is actually very good, much as it pains me to admit about Winick. People were in character and all around awesome. The art is what makes it awful, and ruined the storyline for me.

PS - Roy should have red hair, not blond.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Nightwing 138

- Firstly, funny how neither Bruce or Dick could be bothered to worry about Jason or Cass they way they are about Tim. It kind of makes them look like jerks.

- Dick was great here. His first lines are "He's good. I'm better." Oh, can the era of emo (which I blame Chuck Dixon for entirely) please be over now? Can he be awesome and fun and not broody and depressing and "Woe is me for life is hard!" again? Please? At least until DC does something dumb like shove him in a Batsuit when (if) they kill Bruce? Please?

I like a happy, fun Dick Grayson. And it's been some time since I've gotten one.

- Also, Dick smacking a clue into Damian? Golden. Please Dick. Frequently. And hard.

- I'm annoyed that DC likes to pretend he only has one little brother, but the love he does have in these pages for Tim makes me love Dick all the more.

Superman 670

- They gave Kara a brain! And she was able to work alongside other Kryptonians without giving us a "You aren't my dad" lecture of nonsense to Clark. Awesome.

- ... Funny how we had to get rid of Sin and Helena because they're mommies couldn't hack the parenthood deal, but DC keeps shoving Chris and Damian (god, could the brat be in more titles?) down our throats. Nice how Chrissy Sue is going into battle at his age and turning the tide of battle...when Sin's battle instincts were to be suppressed at all cost.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 3/5, as will continue to be the case anytime I'm stuck with a story line in which Lois Lane is playing Mommy.

Wonder Woman 14

Overall, it made me very happy. I liked that Simone makes Diana a well rounded person - she's capable of kicking your butt, but she's compassionate (that one thing I've been complaining that DC keeps forgetting with Diana); she's well aware of the gravity of the situation she's in, but she also has a sense of humor.

- I loved the fact that it had a fun plot in which Diana got to be a hero (and oh, Gorilla City, how I do love you as a plot device) in a storyline that for once, had nothing to do with the stupidity of the Amazon War.

- "I know who I am. Vengeance is for those who don't," may be my favorite new Wonder Woman quote. And oh, Bruce Timm? Honey, that would be reason number one why your Diana/Bruce nonsense was unbelievable at best.

- Her resolution of the Monkey fight was won not because she is a grade A butt kicker (though those skills were high-lighted happily) but because she was wise, compassionate, and capable. That's my Wonder Woman.

- The one problem that I continue to have is the fact that apparently, we're stuck with Diana and Nemesis as a couple. Look, I don't want Diana to be a nun. I think the idea of her being constantly celibate is silly (though not as annoying as the idea that she would hook up with every member of the JLA who has the remote chance of having a "jock strap.") But, though others have repeatedly mentioned how awesome Nemesis used to be, where Diana is concerned I only care about the way he has been portrayed in her book. And so far, he has been a sexist, cocky jerk in need of a good kick to his jock strap. Or his teeth. Whichever.

The point is, this book has never given me a reason why Diana would be interested in him as anything other than proof of why her people wanted to live without men for so long. And if the Gorillas are going to be talking to me about how their scent and body language is indicative of a mating, I need that reason to be in the book. It isn't.

My need to watch Nemesis gutted on panel hasn't diminished. He doesn't respect Diana as a woman or as a partner, and all the shared cake in the world doesn't change that.

- The whole "not having powers while Diana Prince" is still stupid, DC. Funny how Clark Kent still has his when he wears his ugly clothes. Pft.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Countdown: Homophobia, Sexism, and Stupidity, Oh, My!

2007-11-17T02:37:00.000-08:00

Countdown 25

I realize that no one at DC (read: none of the editors) actually cares, but perhaps comics could avoid some of the flak they get for being written and produced by and for little boys if they would stop thinking it's okay to casually toss around the word "girl" and "ladies" as slurs. Really, did no one at DC ever get the "they don't have cooties" talk?

And while Deadshot is an bad guy, and perhaps that behavior is warranted from a bad guy, this is the second comic in less than a month (the first was TT 52) that I have picked up and had my gender mocked for "entertainment" purposes. I'm not amused.

I'm also quite aware of the homophobic undertones of calling a gay man and his companion "ladies." And if the "ladies" bit isn't, this certainly is:

Again, bad guy talking, and could possibly be excused on that level, except given the previous homophobic undertones in this particular title, I am not willing to dismiss them on that basis alone.

Trickster: "If he takes us down, everyone is going to think you and I were .... I can't take that!"
Piper: "Are you listening to yourself?"
Trickster: "Headline: 'Gay Rogues found dead in each others arms!' No way, man! No way!"
Piper: "In all the times we've know each other, have I ever said antying suggestive to you? Have I ever come on to you? What have I ever done to you, James? You're a complete imbecile, you know that!?"
Trickster: "A completely straight imbecile, thank you very much."
Piper: "We live through this, I swear I'll kill you myself."
Trickster: "Just hit me with something -- don't touch me!"
Piper: "Shut it, Trickster! Just shut it and run!"

Oh, look. It's not even just the bad guy talking. It's the protagonists of the battle, and while someone will assuredly argue that Piper and Trickster are "bad guys" too, we've been given every indication that they are the people we are supposed to root for in this story.

I'm sure DC thinks the wild antics of a straight man on the road with a gay man and being terrified that his gay partner is going to molest him against his will makes for great comedy, but reading it all I can do is think of the "he was asking for it" defense used by numerous homophobes to justify murdering people because of their sexual orientation. You know the one, don't you? The "I am a proud straight male, and this gay man making a pass at me was reason enough for me to kill him" defense. A defense that has been used more than once, and can bizzarely reduce a killer's sentence to "manslaughter."

The outrageous homophobia displayed by Trickster reminds me of the "he was asking for it" defense, and is not in anyway something I find humorous. I am saddened and dismayed that any rational decent human being would find it humorous. Moreover, I have lost all respect I once had for Paul Dini for including such "humor" in the storyline.

Overall Score: (five being the best): 1/5
Doormat Score: (five being the worst) 3/5

Countdown: Red Rain

Okay, really? I read a lot of fan fic. Most of the fan fic I read is better than what DC is producing (at least since OYL began.) But some of it is the really bad kind that people are referring to when they mock fan fic as a whole.

This comic? Was that kind of fan fic. However, it was a much better rendering of Kyle and Jason than we have gotten in the mainstream Countdown title (sadly, Donna's still useless.) Kyle is an adult here! Oh, Kyle, I missed your grown-up self. Please never leave us again?

Other general thoughts:

-I suppose it makes me a bad feminist to say so, but the panel with Dick staking Babs? Happiest end their relationship could ever hope to reach. And yes, I'd say the same if it was Slayer!Babs staking Vampire!Dick.

- "No call yet from the others. Kyle and Jason at each other's throats, I'm sure. That should distract them away from me for a while."

Or, gee, Donna, you could grow a spine and let them know that their behavior of treating you like a particularly tasty piece of steak is unacceptable? You could remember that you pretend to be an Amazon?

- Despite the quote, Jason and Kyle actually managed to remember that they were both adults in their squabbles. That is, while they fought, it didn't feel like I was trapped in a junior high school locker room while reading it.

-And look! They even managed to be work together! (shocking, isn't it?)

-Why is Kyle all down in the dumps about Barbara's killer? First of all, she's a vampire. The person who staked her? Not exactly on Deathstroke or Joker's level of evil. Secondly, did I miss the all important lovefest between Barbara and Kyle back in the real DCU?

-It's sweet that Jason seems to have some attachment to Barbara, but his insistence on finding her killer is also stupid. Seriously. Her killer is the person who made her into a vampire! Oi!

- It's even sweeter that Jason was worried about Dick. Awww. I'm glad someone at DC remembers that Dick has more than one little brother.

- This panel:

Will forever be my "bite me" panel to the people who somehow (using truly insane troll logic) that think Jason's resurrection has hurt Dick in some way, shape or form. Or who trot out the "he was better dead." Or who trot out the "has Jason ever shown remorse for the way he's hurt Dick, Tim, etc."

Pft. There, have some remorse.

- Seriously, "vampire hunters" are killers? WTF? DC, you have to ease up on the "don't kill" policy. Don't make your heroes into Deathstrokes (please, Devin?) but let them have some sense too.

- Donna, what the hell is the matter with you? You were at the top of the "let's not kill the vampire Batman" parade and you trot out this: "You realize you're making jokes while Dick's suffering out there somewhere? What will happen to him now? If he's not already dead?"

Gee, if you were that worried about it, maybe you shouldn't have tried to talk Dick out of "killing" Batman. Stop taking the holier-than-thou route when all three of you are every bit as much responsible for what happened to Dick as Batman.

Overall, good job Peter Johnson. You are the first writer to have anything to do with Countdown that has actually tried to give us adults arguing and fighting and you write a pretty good Kyle, one who doesn't seem stuck in the either the newbie phase or the "WOE IS ME" emo phase.

However, artist team? You are kind made of fail.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 3.5/5 (Donna's useless, and Barbara only shows up to get staked.)

Countdown 24

Brief thoughts:

- "I don't care who you are! God or demon, you can't use human beings like toys."

....

You know, that would make sense coming out of anyone except Mary Marvel, at this point. This is the same Marvel Marvel that rapidly aged an entire prison to their death, and ruined an entire group of farmer's incomes for fun, right?

- Oh, I'm sorry. After reading Red Rain, I almost forgot that Kyle and Donna both need slapped. Hard. And repeatedly.

I'm not sure what basis Donna or Kyle have to believe that Jason is insane (other than the trick he pulled that got them out of a situation in which their lives were in danger. You know, that same situation that Donna should understand after calling herself Wonder Girl and looking up to Diana?) Basically, it's back to whining from them both.

Also the "I don't trust Jason" nonsense completely contradicts the beginning of Countdown and the Jason and Donna friendship. So, what, Donna just suddenly forgets that because Kyle showed up? *glances over at Roy and Kyle nonsense of years gone by.* Oh, that's right, that's actually completely in character with Donna.

Of course, let's face it. Donna's always been concerned with herself more than any of her teammates, but I expect more out of a Titan. And I expect more out of an Amazon than whining because a battle tactic that saved their lives was "harsh."

No wonder Cassie sucks so much as a Wonder Girl. With Donna as a rolemodel, I'm not sure she ever had a choice in the matter. Poor Diana. First they make her crazy, then they give her two crappy followers and a bad love interest. It's a wonder she doesn't snap a neck a day at this rate, really.

- The only thing that remotely got my interest here was wondering whether or not Roy's baldness in on Earth-15 was a natural development.

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 3.5/5

Note: I'm a little harsh towards Donna in these reviews. I am okay with this, however, for two reasons:

a.) Being a feminist doesn't mean I have to like every female character in existence. There may be a ranty commentary about that in the future.

b.) I dislike her because she is overall a passive-aggressive little Mary Sue (Best!Most Important!Titan!Ever!Others!Can't!Live!Without!Her!) and the worst role model for little girls ever (long before Judd met Dinah, Donna was living the "hey, throw away your life/powers/independence" model with the Terry Long Creature.) I can count the issues where she was likable and strong using both hands, with plenty of fingers left over.

Despite these things being true, two of my favorite fictional beings (Dick and Diana) think she is the greatest character ever, so I do try to like her whenever possible. I am able to do that in some old Wolfman/Perez and Teen Titans 47 (which seems to have been forgotten entirely by current Countdown writers, sadly.)

But it doesn't really matter whether or not one likes Donna. What does matter is within the pages of Countdown, she is portrayed consistently weak and/or a bad hero. And that gets on my nerves. Thus, the harshness.

About Being a Girl in Teen Titans 52

2007-11-12T00:39:00.000-08:00

Let's be honest. Teen Titans, at least in its current incarnation, is never going to win ay prizes for its portrayal of women. Long gone are the glory days of Perez and Wolfman, in which Wonder Girl, Starfire, and Raven were all strong women (all in their own unique ways, something Countdown to Adventure forgot.) Since Graduation Day (if not before) we've been stuck with horrid portrayals of women in Titans. Cassie literally has no purpose other than to be defined by which member she's dating. Rose has no real purpose other than to be naked or cry about everyone's favorite serial killing father. Raven has mysteriously and pointlessly been turned into a teenage girl (attending high school at one point when she's already attended college, because backwards development is FUN.) I could continue, but the point is, this series has serious issues when it comes to portraying its women.

In the grand tradition of Geoff Johns before him, Sean McKeever seems determined to follow that trend.

We are treated to this lovely panel in Teen Titans 52:

I know the current trend at DC is that all Amazons are evil (because Diana was apparently never given the loving heart of Aphrodite in this newly imagined DCU) but for the record, randomly being harsh to the newbies? Not Diana's style. Here, have some proof:

Diana's first meeting with the mold that would go on to make Cassie, Nessie Kapatelis:

Oh, look. Diana's first response to a child (even a bratty one, as Nessie spends all her time pretty much complaining until she is put in the hospital by Decay) is not to be a cruel witch. Imagine that.

Despite Nessie's continual temper tantrums, by the time Diana is going to "leave," a few issues later, they have still bonded, as shown here:

Of course, DC's current opinion is that feminists all hate men. So, clearly, that explains the lack of cruelty to Nessie, right? (Though, sadly, it doesn't explain why Diana continues to let Nemesis live.)

Care to comment on that, Kyle?

Hmmm. Sounds pretty reassuring to me. You'd think that Diana would at least be as nice to some scrawny new kid as she was to Kyle (back when he was a good hero and not one who needed kicked in the teeth. Oh, Countdown, quit trying to make me hate Kyle.)

At some point, we really are going to remember that Diana is compassionate and can kick ass, right? We're going to remember that those things are not mutually exclusive? Someday soon? (If not, can she at least gut Nemesis and mount him on a wall? Please?)

Of course, the same issue seems to think that it is perfectly okay to treat calling someone a "girl" as a negative.

Ah, yes. The character DC was wondering why no women were reading. For the record, Supergirl calling someone a girl in a mocking tone makes about as much sense as Wonder Woman doing the same.

But kudos, DC. I always love opening up a comic and seeing my gender insulted and demoted as weak by the very characters who should be providing the opposite lessons.

Who Cares About Hawkgirl Anyway?

2007-11-11T23:42:00.000-08:00

From JLA, volume 1:
Translation: Hawkgirl doesn't matter as much as Hawkman, of course, silly woman.

Aaaah, DC. Such a nice, long history of ignoring legitimate complaints about unequal treatment of your male/female characters.

About Superman 669

2007-11-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

So much of Superman 669 is made of things that bring me joy. We are introduced to a Kryptonian woman who is part soldier, part pirate, and pretty much all butt-kicker. She's a three-dimensional woman, who we are able to see is strong without being "bitchy," vulnerable without being weak, and independent and willing to stand up for her rights, her lifestyle, and her freedom for centuries. She is a spirited and determined woman from the start, and that never wans; moreover, we're never given the impression that it should. Her life story is a rich and full one, and I'm pretty sure I could read dozens of issues about her life story without any Superman at all.

She is, in short, absolutely everything a Superwoman should be, and her presence makes clear just what a failure the current Kara is to the name, to the title, to the costume. You know, if Power Girl wasn't doing a fine job of doing that over in JSA. It's interesting, too, because the rebellion angle (a rather played out one for spoiled teenage superheroes of both genders) makes much more sense here with Karsta, a a character who actually has a life worth rebelling at as a young woman and isn't just rebelling for the sake of rebelling.

The part that impressed me the most is that she clearly loved and spent centuries with a man that mattered greatly to her, but never once do we see the slightest hint that he or that relationship defined her. He added to her life, and never subtracted, and it's such an astonishingly accurate portrayal of how healthy relationships should work that I never expected it to be portrayed from the same company that shoves Dick/Babs and Tim/Cassie down our throats.

But as much joy as this issue brought me, two things ruined it for me:

a.)

Clark is going to lecture and judge a woman who was fighting in what is ostensibly a war for her life? Really? Does he, in his spare time, whenever he happens upon a survivor of World War II or Vietnam, give them a nice little spiel about how killing is wrong and they are immoral bastards? Does he hunt up cops and bitch at them for carrying guns?

It's all good and fine that superheroes don't kill, but it's not good and fine to make them two dimensional caricatures of what they are supposed to represent. Also, honestly, could he be more selfish here? "Oh, I will judge what you have done, but please stay here and tell me all about my planet. Because it's all about Me, ME, ME."

Sadly, that goes very well with the Clark Kent that has existed since at least OYL began, if not before. We are talking about the same man who proclaimed that the year he lost his powers was a "good one," and based on what happened during that time period, apparently, Kurt Busiek does want us to believe that Superman is a horribly self-centered being. "A whole country got destroyed? Eh, I was having great sex with my wife, so it was still a good year. Sucks to be them." Somewhere, Frank Miller is nodding his head in approval.

b.) Look, I know that Kurt Busiek doesn't like Kon, to the point where he makes Superman look like a jerk in ignoring his death. And I know that DC is in the middle of some lawsuit issues over the superboy name, but this panel is ridiculous:

Really. She followed the exploits of Krypto and Power Girl, but not Kon? While Kon is certainly not fully Kryptonian, I'm honestly supposed to believe that the dog was more important to a woman trying to keep tabs on her lost people than a dog? That doesn't even begin to make sense.

I doubt Karsta will be around for long, and that's too bad, because she really is a great character, and offers far more interesting possibilities than little Chrissy Sue ever could.

Mary Jane is awesome and so is her daughter

2007-11-04T19:34:00.000-08:00

One of the great things about Livejournal is the network of acquaintances who will drop by and give me comic recs whenever I squee about a title that makes me happy. One of the recent recs I received, when I mentioned that I loved both Mary Jane and her relationship with her husband, was the Amazing Spider-Girl series.

I recently picked up a couple of issues, not really expecting much. Oh, wow, was I ever wrong! And my flist was very, very right. Amazing Spider-Girl, from what I have seen of it is the teenage Superheroine done correctly. Reading those couple issues just makes Cassie and Kara look all the worse, and really shine the light on how badly DC's doing with the whole "normal teenage girl" nonsense. But that is possibly a discussion for another day.

Because other than the awesomeness of Mayday, it's this scene in ASG #11 that stuck out:

I love Mary Jane in this. I love how strong the writer let her be, even while doing house work to keep from breaking down. The writer let her, in those panels, consciously choose not to be a victim. She's not the hero of the piece (nor is she the one needing rescued), and her situation is completely awful, but the writer lets her still have agency, still lets her be responsible for how strong she is going to be.

I can do nothing but love those panels, and compare them to the Black Canary/Green Arrow nonsense and be very sad. Dinah, who is a hero and not a supporting cast member, should have at least this much self control, and yet....so far, since the wedding plans began, all she's done is be completely hysterical, and been portrayed as nothing more than a sad little stereotype of a hysterical woman.

I'm happy for MJ, because she's a great character, and deserves to have such an good writer. But I'm very sad for Dinah that she can't be written with the same level of dignity.

The trouble with girls is they all act like females!

2007-10-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

I come bearing gifts! Er...sort of gifts.

From Tales of Suspense # 58:

Aaaaaah. Poor Pepper. I love the assumption that yes, Wasp is a girl first and a superhero second. Any girl would naturally point out the state of Pepper's hair just minutes after the woman survived a near death experience. Of course.

To be clear, it is perfectly reasonable that Wasp is a girly girl - I'd argue that Dinah Lance and Selina Kyle are as well and I actually like those facets of their personalities. But this is portrayed as the whole of her personality - and in a battle setting is completely ridiculous.

Mind, it's not as silly as making the the Avengers late because she has to reapply her makeup, as was the case in the issue following:

Oh, Cap. You're lucky you go on to date some awesomely strong women in your time, otherwise I might have to hold a grudge against you.

This Week Comics Review

2007-10-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Best of the Week - Wonder Woman 13 (Yeah, I'm shocked about that too.)

This book was far from perfect, but it's the only book I read this week that kept me consistently interested from the time I opened it to the time I reached the last panel.

Positives:

- The quote and metaphor were nice, and appropriate to the way Diana might feel if she were really the clueless, fresh off the island woman that DC is pretending she is.

- They remembered Polly/Ted! It's the first bit of decent continuity in this book since OYL began, and Polly/Ted makes my heart glad. Mostly because it's the complete opposite of Diana and That Nemesis Creature, and proof that a writer could be bothered to give an Amazon a fellow warrior as a mate, instead of some fool miles beneath her.

- For the first time in a long time, the writer remembered that Diana is Wonder Woman not only because of her ability to kick ass, but because she is compassionate and loving.

-This panel is the truest thing ever written about current Wonder Girl and Supergirl:

- Helena Sandsmark acknowledging that her daughter fails at being a superhero.

-The cover art was gorgeous and depicted a strong, independent, capable Diana.

-Dinah was doing something besides sitting around crying over Ollie.

-The JSA in the four panels they were featured in did more in those four panels than they have done in nine issues of OYL.

Negatives:

- You know, Cassie is a teenager. And I have never been a fan of teenagers in any type of fiction running off to do whatever they want and being treated as the adult in the story. I am gravely disappointed that Cassie's mother did not step up and be the strong, awesome parent she previously was.

-The incident with Air Force One was not "misinterpreted" by anyone. It was another instance of this Supergirl and this Wonder Girl not being worthy of the symbols they wear.

- Cassie is resentful of the fact that her mother has a job and provides for her? Gee, what a completely inappropriate behavior for the child. Between this and the retelling of Dinah Lance's life story back in BoP 100, DC seems determined to enforce the idea that children of strong mothers who do anything but stay home and remain barefoot and pregnant will resent that. And I find that distasteful.

Overall Score(five being the highest): 3.5/5
Doormat Score (five being the lowest): 2.5/5

Worst of the Week: Green Arrow/Black Canary 01

Positives:

-Batman wasn't Frank Miller's Batman

Negatives:

- Dinah doesn't need lectures on how to conduct herself from Ollie's son.

- Hysterical women who need men to justify their concerns is a tired, sad little trope.

- So the JLA thinks that little of their chaiperson, huh? Only Batman the Great believed her?

- If no one believed Dinah then why the hell did they have Ollie's body locked in the Snow White chamber after a month of Dead Ollie?

- Why can't anyone be bothered to remember that Roy Harper has a much stronger mother-son vibe than Connor or Mia will ever have with her? Anyone outside of Meltzer, that is.

- Will Judd ever get tired of writing crying women?

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 5/5

Other Thoughts:

Countdown 29:

Kyle and Jason remembered they were heroes on a mission that mattered more than getting in Donna's pants. Well, it's about time.

Also, this panel brings me joy, simply because of the expression on Jason's face:

Not quite prepared to watch a Joker die, after all? Ah, the story this could be, if characterization was being paid any attention to at all in this series.

Overall Score: 3/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Superman 668

Aaah. So this is where the bad Superman stories are. To recap:

1.) Batman, who has had four Robins, should not intimidate a child. Period.

2.) Are all Kryptonian children brats? Between Kara and Chris I suspect so.

3.) Robin, who changed his whole color scheme because of Kon's death, is perfectly okay with the new son of Clark because...why, exactly? In fact he "likes" the kid? That's a cute and bizarre interpretation of Tim's characterization.

I still hate Chris Kent. I still hope for his slow and painful death. Why can't Ollie come along and ship him off to some mountain retreat? It can be "the right choice" and I might want to stop kicking Clark in the teeth every time he shows up.

Overall Score: 1/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

New Avengers 35-

Ah, it's always such a joy to see a female character beaten for the delight of a group of men.

Also, the villains uniting together is an overworked storyline at this point.

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 4/5

The Past Two Weeks in Comics Reviews

2007-10-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

52 Aftermath - The Four Horsemen 02

"You're serious?"
"As a heart attack."
"Coming back to life."
"That's what I said."
"The dead."
"That's what I said."
"They wouldn't happen to be eating the living?"
"Have you been drinking?
"Sorry. It's not every day you hear that."

Really? In your world it's not? I'm sorry. You're right. It's more like every other day. The superheroes in the DCU have every right to be shocked and confused when it happens.

Highlights: Superman saving Batman's ass against his will, proving in the span of two panels why the notion of Batman ever kicking Superman's ass is a silly fantasy that pays little attention to the reality of their powers and skills. As such, those panels gave me glee in the same way that Thor kicking Iron Man's ass did.

Even better than that? Wonder Woman showing up to save Clark when he got himself in over his head.

The friendship that is very obvious between the trinity as a whole is a wonderful thing to read in this comic, actually. They manage to - shockingly - behave like superheroes and friends, something that was missing from the stupidity of "Infinite Crisis." This is the Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman written in a way that pays attention to the rich history that the characters have together.

Batman: "...Could have told you a direct approach wasn't going to work if you'd given me half a chance."
Superman: "Not really...up for a lecture right now, Batman."
Wonder Woman: "If it makes you feel any better, I was about to try the same tactic."
Batman: "Oh, I feel much better now."
Superman: "Thanks for the save."
Wonder Woman; "Thanks for saving me the hit."
Batman: "I don't know the words to kumbayah, so count me out."

Ah, the Trinity as they should be. Frank Miller? That would be a Grouchy Batman that is reasonable, not Asshole Batman, who never needed to exist outside of your screwed up brain.

Overall, the characterization is why I am continuing to read this book. With Meltzer gone off of JLA and until I have a Simone Wonder Woman in my hands, this is the best Wonder Woman I have to read (and this second issue is a huge improvement from the first, in that regard, so kudos there.) The Batman and Superman interaction is also gorgeous. The plot is a big chunk of "I don't care at all," with a side dish of "boring me to tears," but the characters will bring me back for the next issue.

Overall Score (wherein 5 is the best score): 2.5/5
Doormat Score (wherein 5 is the worst score): 0/5

Countdown 31/30/The Search for Ray Palmer: Crime Society

To sum up: Neither Donna nor Kyle are worth the hero label they pretend to wear if they can't realize why Jason Todd might not want a (pretty useless) facsimile of the Joker traveling with them.

I've given up trying to figure out why Kyle has been reduced to the junior high school jock trapped in some sort of locker room posturing nonsense with Jason. But really, after everything he's gone through (I'm assuming that the Parallax crap happened before all of this, to make any of it make any sense) he's casting stones about Jason throwing a punch? Really? Why is that supposed to make any sense?

I admit that it could. If Kyle was projecting his own Parallax issues onto Jason? That could actually make this a compelling read and a complex story worth my time. As of right now, all Kyle cares about is staking his claim on the right to get in Donna's pants.

And Donna Troy, former Wonder Girl, allows this to happen, allows herself to be treated like a piece of meat between two hungry dogs. Right. Why is that?

I love Kyle Rayner to pieces. However, when his evil doppelganger from a universe where Zod is Superman lives up to the superhero name better than Kyle does, I am not pleased. Is he supposed to represent the people who irrationally think that the on-panel murder of a child was anything other than foul, and the obnoxiously loud contingent of fans who think that Jason should have stayed dead? Because that's all his entire purpose seems to be here.

To sum up, the only people I care about in this story are Piper, Trickster, Jason, and tentatively Jokester. I don't care about a Donna who can't be bothered to respect herself. I don't care about Jimmy Olsen's stupidity or the Monitor nonsense. I don't care about a Kyle who is the kind of fanboy I avoid. I certainly don't care about the Crime Syndicate/Crime Society. That plot has been reused enough times, and frankly, there's nothing left to tell there that hasn't been told already.

Speaking of Piper and Trickster, gay jokes? Really only funny to the homophobic. I understand and accept at this point that if Piper and Trickster were lesbians, they would have already had some gratuitous sex, because let's face it, the only homosexuality that DC is capable of allowing in their books is the kind that is acceptable jerk off fodder for heterosexual men. However, having to read a person who I am apparently supposed to root for make snide little comments about a gay man's sexuality is really, really unacceptable.

This book is the opposite of The Four Horsemen. I read The Four Horsemen regardless of its lack of a plot because the characterization is awesome. I read this despicable plot line in spite of the nonsense that it's giving me because I'm sure that in the long run, it will figure into the next big event that DC is planning. And with each issue, I resent DC more and more for making such a loathsome little series with just that intent in mind.

Overall Score: 2/5
Doormat Score: 5/5. Grow a spine already, Donna.

JLA Classified 43

Aaaaah, a comic book that had me smile and giggle at the same time. Those are increasingly rare these days.

After the stupidity of "it was just a kiss!" for the wedding rationale, any comic that has the following quote from Oliver Queen wins my heart: "I'm here to commemorate my own stupidity and reinforce the theory that all men are dogs." And that? Is how a man should feel after he kisses someone else when he's supposed to be in a committed relationship. Good boy, Ollie. It really wasn't "just a kiss," was it?

Also, as if I needed another reason to love Barry Allen:

Look, I love Oliver Queen, but no one can seriously tell me that crazy, 70s era Ollie with his "I care about the little people! And the JLA are all a bunch of fascists!" didn't have that coming.

Most importantly of all, there's not a Deathstroke in sight. Thank god.

And the artist needs kissed. Look, you can write a beautiful Black Canary who doesn't look like she belongs on a street corner! Who would have thought? Oh, art, you are wonderful and make my day.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Captain America: Chosen 02

I don't care.

I don't even care enough to write a lengthy commentary.

I just don't care.

After two issues, and the plot is still "wait, what?" I just don't care.

Overall Score: 0/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Justice League 13

Honestly? I really don't get the "Oh, noes! Black Canary isn't the chairperson of the League anymore!" paranoia that Clark's consideration for Vixen's privacy has caused. He respected a fellow teammate's privacy. As he should. He allowed Vixen to make the choice regarding her life. That doesn't mean he was disrespecting Black Canary's leadership.

Further, he and everyone else clearly was deferring to her as chairperson in the beginning of the story.

I see no disrespect in these pages. Quite the contrary.

Mind, the plot was blah, and the commentary about Black Lightning's hair seemed completely unnecessary, but the banter between the heroes was a nice touch.

I still don't care about the Injustice Society, though. At least there's no Deathstroke yet...although, whatever happened to the League letting a known child-molesting serial-killer free so they could "see what he was up to?" Are we just conveniently forgetting that with the same ease that we conveniently tossed aside the established team members of Meltzer's run? Nice.

Overall? It feels too hard like it's trying to be part of the animated universe. And frankly, if I wanted that, I have Boomerang reruns at eleven.

Overall Score: 3.5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Teen Titans 51

This is the best Teen Titans story that this particular Robin has ever participated in. The entirety of the Geoff Johns nonsense was just dreck, full of characterization rape that practically screamed, "Peter David Sucks and I am Great!"

When a series starts by tossing established characterization out the window? It doesn't make a favorable first impression.

I hate the Cassie/Tim crap with all my heart and I do truly hope that Diana or Donna will smack some sense into the girl. Frankly? Cassie has never had any point to being a Teen Titan other than which member she's dating this week. Oh, I know there are teenage girls that empty headed. But you know what? They aren't the ones who should be in superhero comics. It's not a hard concept.

I hate having Kara on this team. The child is more of a Mary Sue ("Batman and Superman are totally like my parents! I'm an Amazon, too! I'm all of the Trinity in one!") than her previous counterparts have ever been, and really, why do we need her?

Mind, her telling Cassie to stop having Juiliet syndrome was nice.

I liked the clones. It's appropriate with the plot that was randomly dropped for not good apparent reason. At least it isn't the Crime Syndicate or the Injustice Society. Thank god.

The cliffhanger is neat, and I support any universe in which Deathstroke is tortured.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Wonder Woman Annual 01

You know, this wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It actually had some very good points. Donna and Cassie stopped being self-centered brats and remembered that the only reason they have any purpose at all is because of Diana.

Gee, imagine that.

Also, Donna in her old costume? Yes, please. It looks so much better than her ridiculous black/sparkly BS. Anyone with eyes should be able to see that.

The deal with Circe is silly and I hope it is promptly forgotten in stories to come. I have no idea why anyone would think that an Amazon Princess would want to be human, ever. Seriously, apes are cool, but I have no desire to become one, and comparatively? That is the down grade Diana would receive by "becoming" human. Also, we already had "powerless" Diana Prince once. DC. Do you really need to be reminded how bad that was? *shudders*

Overall, I look forward to Simone's run, but this was far better than what we've been given for Diana lately. She was mostly strong, her previously ungrateful bratty sidekicks remembered to be grateful, and the "The World Hates Wonder Woman" was finally put to rest. Most importantly of all, Diana called Nemesis on his ridiculousness and sexism. And she wasn't falling all over him as if he was someone important. Apparently she reclaimed her brain.

Not bad. I have no idea why it took so long to write it, but it wasn't bad at all.

Overall Score: 4/5
Doormat Score: 2/5

Action 856

Two good Superman comics in a row? This is shocking. Clearly, DC is trying to give me a heart attack. There is no other explanation.

I have nothing but love for a comic in which the damsels Superman rescue are little girls who get their dresses complimented on by Superman. I also have nothing but love for a comic which gives me Superman surrounded by adoring children.

Awwww.

Also, a comic that gives me a Bizarro Justice League?

Made of awesomesauce.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5

Nightwing 137

I love Marv's Nightwing. He's frankly the only writer who writes a Dick Grayson as anything approaching a sane adult, and I am not at all looking forward to next month or the ensuing ones. I suppose we'll be back to whining about how Batman doesn't love Dick anymore, and since next month drops us straight back into Bat Territory (*eyeroll*) I suppose we'll go back to the "No relationship that wasn't with Bruce or Barbara has ever mattered to Dick" nonsense.

Ugh.

It was great while you lasted, Marv. I'll miss you and your Nightwing. Thanks for clearing up the monstrosity that was the Second Nightwing Annual while you were here. Dick did love Kory? Imagine that.

I'm not buying The Vigilante, though. Sorry.

Overall Score: 5/5
Doormat Score: 0/5